Reply to Will having a spouse who is bad in bed eventually kill your libido?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, being a person who is bad at having orgasms will eventually kill your libido. Your spouse's attentiveness may or may not contribute to this. [/quote]

I rocked at having orgasms until him. Alone or partnered. With him, even a vibrator didn’t help. No rhythm and no stamina.[/quote]

So what did you do to teach him? Did you make efforts to guide him and show him how to get you off? Or did you just complain about it and quit having sex?  If the latter, I have little sympathy for you. Good lovers are not born, but made. [/quote]

They have to want to be made. You cannot teach someone who's lazy or thinks secretly you ought to come from whatever feels good to him. [/quote]

Sounds to me like you've made zero effort to teach him.  You just assume he has no interest in learning and you assume you know what he "secretly" thinks.  You don't know jack, but you're using that as an excuse because you're not teaching him what you like.  Admittedly, teaching someone what you like in bed is tough - you have to get past your own inhibitions.  But quite frankly, it sounds like you're too inhibited, too nonconfrontational, too lazy, too something to do anything to improve your situation.  Quit whining and try to fix it.

Most husbands would LOVE to be taught to be better in bed.  It's a huge turn on for men to be able to get their partners off.  But they don't know naturally how your body works or what gets you off.  You have to teach.

I guarantee you that just about every really good lover you've had got that way by learning from someone.  Very few just luck into those skills.  Some may be perceptive enough to learn by trial and error over a long time.  But if you want your husband to get better, you need to have a lot of sex with him and tell him what feels good.[/quote]

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