Is it wrong that I find the idea of a 12 year old girl coming out as bisexual to be unsettling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it wrong that you feel this way? No, your feelings are your feelings.

You might do some thinking about why you feel this way, though.

Because op is sane and has a modicum of concern for the mental health and well being of this child? I bet that's it.

Or she is a judgmental homophobe.

NP. Judgmental between right and wrong? Absolutely, any day of the week. And the name-calling is cute.

And you proved my point. You think a tween comming out and saying she is bi is wrong. I think it is probably premature, as often we are still discovering our sexuality at that age.

Yes, I do think it's wrong. Frankly, I think it's wrong for anyone.

And I think your religion is crazy. That's the great thing about America --- we are free to believe what we want as long as we don't hurt other people. Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm 28, but nice try. Sorry you hate your grandmother so much.

“Hate” is off the mark, but she certainly is a dislikable homophobe. Was at 28, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm 28, but nice try. Sorry you hate your grandmother so much.

“Hate” is off the mark, but she certainly is a dislikable homophobe. Was at 28, too.

And you, my friend, have much in common with her. At least the dislikable, judgmental traits you display.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if this is a fad. It seems like everyone at my kids school say they are bisexual.

I teach HS and the big thing here is saying that you are "pan-sexual." Really? Can't we just keep the terminology as hetero, homo, and bi to make it easier for us old fuddy-duddies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I take the stance that 95% of people know exactly what their sexuality is by 12. There really is no confusion - or they are just in denial and lying to themselves while secretly knowing the entire time.

I don't pay much attention to youths and young teens claiming to be bi. I believe there are so few genuinely bi people, they do exist, but not in great numbers. Kids are very susceptible to fads and what's cool and fitting in with their desired crowd and will say things to make them fit in. And being "bi" is cool these days, anything but the conformist ordinariness of straight people. The girl is likely lying to herself and to others, just like teens and middle schoolers always do.

Just smile, say that's nice dear, and move on.

Congative behavioral therapists refer to this pattern of disordered thinking as "mind reading" --- believing that you know what's going on in other people's minds with no evidence. You have no idea because you are not inside that person's mind.

You might want to get that checked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm 28, but nice try. Sorry you hate your grandmother so much.

“Hate” is off the mark, but she certainly is a dislikable homophobe. Was at 28, too.

And you, my friend, have much in common with her. At least the dislikable, judgmental traits you display.

Nice to meet you, Pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm 28, but nice try. Sorry you hate your grandmother so much.

“Hate” is off the mark, but she certainly is a dislikable homophobe. Was at 28, too.

And you, my friend, have much in common with her. At least the dislikable, judgmental traits you display.

Sorry, but objecting to bigotry is not being judgmental. You are a bigot, full stop.

[Anonymous]

Who did you have crushes on at 12 OP? I think if you have crushes on both, it's easy to tell that you are bi. I am straight and only have had crushes on boys. I was certainly "in love"'with celebrity boys back then. Hello Tom Cruise and Ricky Schroeder. I didn't want to have sex with them. It's age appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if this is a fad. It seems like everyone at my kids school say they are bisexual.

I teach HS and the big thing here is saying that you are "pan-sexual." Really? Can't we just keep the terminology as hetero, homo, and bi to make it easier for us old fuddy-duddies?

We old fuddy-duddies have to keep up, just like everybody else. Fortunately there's the Internet these days, for when we have questions.

[Anonymous]

well, what you feel is what you feel; so I can't say it's "wrong" to be "unsettled". But it's a feeling worth examining honestly.

We don't find it odd when 12yo girls like boys. Many are in puberty at that age, yes? So, they're starting to think about such things . . . in a physical way. That's what hormones do.

And you claim it wouldn't bother you if she came out as as a lesbian instead? Only that she's bi? Is it because you think of that as particularly wrong or kinky? For a 12-year-old, it probably means she has had (or could imagine having) crushes on both boys and girls. I wouldn't read a whole lot into it. I doubt it means she has had sex with both to figure it out.

Also, 12-year-olds are definitely still figuring out (in fact, just starting to grapple with) their identity. Just in general, never mind how it relates to sex or attraction. So, a 12-year-old making a broad proclamation of her identity is not necessarily unusual. I wouldn't read a whole lot into that either. She's excited and trying on a new identity.

Also, I think . . . it is just not that unusual for 12-year-old girls to have bi tendencies. Or much older women, for that matter. But I realize people may differ on that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm 28, but nice try. Sorry you hate your grandmother so much.

“Hate” is off the mark, but she certainly is a dislikable homophobe. Was at 28, too.

And you, my friend, have much in common with her. At least the dislikable, judgmental traits you display.

Sorry, but objecting to bigotry is not being judgmental. You are a bigot, full stop.

Sorry, but labeling something "bigotry" just because you don't like it is wrong, judgmental and hateful. You don't even know what the word means -- but I know it was fun to learn about it in your little women's studies group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if this is a fad. It seems like everyone at my kids school say they are bisexual.

I teach HS and the big thing here is saying that you are "pan-sexual." Really? Can't we just keep the terminology as hetero, homo, and bi to make it easier for us old fuddy-duddies?

We old fuddy-duddies have to keep up, just like everybody else. Fortunately there's the Internet these days, for when we have questions.

Mmm-hmmm. And even with all of the info out there, I fail to see the true difference between pan-sexual and bi-sexual. Ultimately, you can like both males and females in a sexual sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who did you have crushes on at 12 OP? I think if you have crushes on both, it's easy to tell that you are bi. I am straight and only have had crushes on boys. I was certainly "in love"'with celebrity boys back then. Hello Tom Cruise and Ricky Schroeder. I didn't want to have sex with them. It's age appropriate.

+1

Do you think that 12-year-olds are too young to know that they are straight?

It's possible that this particular 12-year-old is wrong. A lot of girls have same-sex crushes at this age, and aren't actually lesbian or bi. But it's equally possible that she already recognizes that she is attracted to both men and women, just as it's possible for a 12-year-old to realize that she is only attracted to men or only attracted to women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who did you have crushes on at 12 OP? I think if you have crushes on both, it's easy to tell that you are bi. I am straight and only have had crushes on boys. I was certainly "in love"'with celebrity boys back then. Hello Tom Cruise and Ricky Schroeder. I didn't want to have sex with them. It's age appropriate.

+1

Do you think that 12-year-olds are too young to know that they are straight?

It's possible that this particular 12-year-old is wrong. A lot of girls have same-sex crushes at this age, and aren't actually lesbian or bi. But it's equally possible that she already recognizes that she is attracted to both men and women, just as it's possible for a 12-year-old to realize that she is only attracted to men or only attracted to women.

Can you even begin to comprehend the absurdity of this statement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who did you have crushes on at 12 OP? I think if you have crushes on both, it's easy to tell that you are bi. I am straight and only have had crushes on boys. I was certainly "in love"'with celebrity boys back then. Hello Tom Cruise and Ricky Schroeder. I didn't want to have sex with them. It's age appropriate.

+1

Do you think that 12-year-olds are too young to know that they are straight?

It's possible that this particular 12-year-old is wrong. A lot of girls have same-sex crushes at this age, and aren't actually lesbian or bi. But it's equally possible that she already recognizes that she is attracted to both men and women, just as it's possible for a 12-year-old to realize that she is only attracted to men or only attracted to women.

Can you even begin to comprehend the absurdity of this statement?

What's absurd about it? What if she has a crush on [boy crush of the moment] as well as [girl crush of the moment]?