Is it wrong that I find the idea of a 12 year old girl coming out as bisexual to be unsettling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if this is a fad. It seems like everyone at my kids school say they are bisexual.

I teach HS and the big thing here is saying that you are "pan-sexual." Really? Can't we just keep the terminology as hetero, homo, and bi to make it easier for us old fuddy-duddies?

We old fuddy-duddies have to keep up, just like everybody else. Fortunately there's the Internet these days, for when we have questions.

Mmm-hmmm. And even with all of the info out there, I fail to see the true difference between pan-sexual and bi-sexual. Ultimately, you can like both males and females in a sexual sense.

"Bisexual" works if you believe that

1. sex and gender are synonyms
2. there are only two sexes/genders

Otherwise it doesn't.

I'm an old bag and I'm familiar with the current terminology, so I'm sure that you can learn too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who did you have crushes on at 12 OP? I think if you have crushes on both, it's easy to tell that you are bi. I am straight and only have had crushes on boys. I was certainly "in love"'with celebrity boys back then. Hello Tom Cruise and Ricky Schroeder. I didn't want to have sex with them. It's age appropriate.

+1

Do you think that 12-year-olds are too young to know that they are straight?

It's possible that this particular 12-year-old is wrong. A lot of girls have same-sex crushes at this age, and aren't actually lesbian or bi. But it's equally possible that she already recognizes that she is attracted to both men and women, just as it's possible for a 12-year-old to realize that she is only attracted to men or only attracted to women.

Can you even begin to comprehend the absurdity of this statement?

What's absurd about it? What if she has a crush on [boy crush of the moment] as well as [girl crush of the moment]?

Then she is extremely mixed up in the head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who did you have crushes on at 12 OP? I think if you have crushes on both, it's easy to tell that you are bi. I am straight and only have had crushes on boys. I was certainly "in love"'with celebrity boys back then. Hello Tom Cruise and Ricky Schroeder. I didn't want to have sex with them. It's age appropriate.

+1

Do you think that 12-year-olds are too young to know that they are straight?

It's possible that this particular 12-year-old is wrong. A lot of girls have same-sex crushes at this age, and aren't actually lesbian or bi. But it's equally possible that she already recognizes that she is attracted to both men and women, just as it's possible for a 12-year-old to realize that she is only attracted to men or only attracted to women.

Can you even begin to comprehend the absurdity of this statement?

What's absurd about it? What if she has a crush on [boy crush of the moment] as well as [girl crush of the moment]?

Then she is extremely mixed up in the head.

Well, either that, or somebody who is not you, has feelings that are different from your feelings, on account of being a different person who is not you.

[Anonymous]

I teach middle schoolers and don't find it concerning in the least that they are thinking about their sexuality and where they fit. What I do find concerning is the big coming out statements and declarations at school. It's becoming an attention seeking activity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to kids being supported in their thoughts. What I'm seeing is kids making these dramatic declarations and then being surrounded by their 80 closest friends for support and love. It's school. They should be there to learn and have conversations with their actual friends and teachers, not spending much of the day discussing multiple peers sexuality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach middle schoolers and don't find it concerning in the least that they are thinking about their sexuality and where they fit. What I do find concerning is the big coming out statements and declarations at school. It's becoming an attention seeking activity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to kids being supported in their thoughts. What I'm seeing is kids making these dramatic declarations and then being surrounded by their 80 closest friends for support and love. It's school. They should be there to learn and have conversations with their actual friends and teachers, not spending much of the day discussing multiple peers sexuality.

So every thought a middle schooler has -- whether real, clearly thought out, true, beneficial to them, kind to others, etc., or not -- needs to be "supported?"

That is what you, as a middle school teacher, believe?

I do hope you're not teaching my 8th grader.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who did you have crushes on at 12 OP? I think if you have crushes on both, it's easy to tell that you are bi. I am straight and only have had crushes on boys. I was certainly "in love"'with celebrity boys back then. Hello Tom Cruise and Ricky Schroeder. I didn't want to have sex with them. It's age appropriate.

+1

Do you think that 12-year-olds are too young to know that they are straight?

It's possible that this particular 12-year-old is wrong. A lot of girls have same-sex crushes at this age, and aren't actually lesbian or bi. But it's equally possible that she already recognizes that she is attracted to both men and women, just as it's possible for a 12-year-old to realize that she is only attracted to men or only attracted to women.

Can you even begin to comprehend the absurdity of this statement?

What's absurd about it? What if she has a crush on [boy crush of the moment] as well as [girl crush of the moment]?

Then she is extremely mixed up in the head.

Well, either that, or somebody who is not you, has feelings that are different from your feelings, on account of being a different person who is not you.

Everyone has feelings - sane, crazy, whimsical, long-lasting, healthful, detrimental, etc. "Feelings" should not control our lives, especially at the age of 12.

These poor kids. They obviously lack the guidance in their lives from mature adults that they are so desperately asking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I teach middle schoolers and don't find it concerning in the least that they are thinking about their sexuality and where they fit. What I do find concerning is the big coming out statements and declarations at school. It's becoming an attention seeking activity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to kids being supported in their thoughts. What I'm seeing is kids making these dramatic declarations and then being surrounded by their 80 closest friends for support and love. It's school. They should be there to learn and have conversations with their actual friends and teachers, not spending much of the day discussing multiple peers sexuality.

If they're doing it to get attention, and they're all doing it, then they're not going to get much attention for it, so they'll stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach middle schoolers and don't find it concerning in the least that they are thinking about their sexuality and where they fit. What I do find concerning is the big coming out statements and declarations at school. It's becoming an attention seeking activity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to kids being supported in their thoughts. What I'm seeing is kids making these dramatic declarations and then being surrounded by their 80 closest friends for support and love. It's school. They should be there to learn and have conversations with their actual friends and teachers, not spending much of the day discussing multiple peers sexuality.

If they're doing it to get attention, and they're all doing it, then they're not going to get much attention for it, so they'll stop.

Oh, please. They are getting a lot of attention and you know it. How many pages of discussion here are devoted to this ridiculous issue?

The sad thing is that vulnerable, insecure young kids (which many of them are at this age) get sucked right into this mess. And too many adults in their lives are failing them massively by cheering them on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP, why would this bother you in the slightest? Not your child. Keep your homophobic thoughts to yourself. It is 2017 and there is a spectrum of feelings/love for everyone.

Yes, well, many of them are inappropriate, especially for kids. I love my cat, too. Do you want to go there?

It must be really sad to have that much hate and self-loafing in your heart, to feel that you must belittle and judge a child that is not even yours, who has done absolutely nothing wrong, on an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach middle schoolers and don't find it concerning in the least that they are thinking about their sexuality and where they fit. What I do find concerning is the big coming out statements and declarations at school. It's becoming an attention seeking activity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to kids being supported in their thoughts. What I'm seeing is kids making these dramatic declarations and then being surrounded by their 80 closest friends for support and love. It's school. They should be there to learn and have conversations with their actual friends and teachers, not spending much of the day discussing multiple peers sexuality.

If they're doing it to get attention, and they're all doing it, then they're not going to get much attention for it, so they'll stop.

Oh, please. They are getting a lot of attention and you know it. How many pages of discussion here are devoted to this ridiculous issue?

The sad thing is that vulnerable, insecure young kids (which many of them are at this age) get sucked right into this mess. And too many adults in their lives are failing them massively by cheering them on.

Actually PP, most kids their age absolutely do not care who their friends like and once it is mentioned or announced, the kids move on. It is adults like you that make it the big deal.

And if you think adults who are letting their kids decide who they have feelings for, are letting them down - and not homophobic adults who can't appreciate that others can live their lives not exactly like you, well.... no words can really be said because you are living in a self absorbed bubble of self-righteousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP, why would this bother you in the slightest? Not your child. Keep your homophobic thoughts to yourself. It is 2017 and there is a spectrum of feelings/love for everyone.

Yes, well, many of them are inappropriate, especially for kids. I love my cat, too. Do you want to go there?

It must be really sad to have that much hate and self-loafing in your heart, to feel that you must belittle and judge a child that is not even yours, who has done absolutely nothing wrong, on an anonymous forum.

whoops, self loathing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if this is a fad. It seems like everyone at my kids school say they are bisexual.

Hmm, I am 43 and I am pretty sure everyone of my friends in high school and college at least made out with a girl once, if not did more. Guess the fad has never died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach middle schoolers and don't find it concerning in the least that they are thinking about their sexuality and where they fit. What I do find concerning is the big coming out statements and declarations at school. It's becoming an attention seeking activity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to kids being supported in their thoughts. What I'm seeing is kids making these dramatic declarations and then being surrounded by their 80 closest friends for support and love. It's school. They should be there to learn and have conversations with their actual friends and teachers, not spending much of the day discussing multiple peers sexuality.

If they're doing it to get attention, and they're all doing it, then they're not going to get much attention for it, so they'll stop.

Oh, please. They are getting a lot of attention and you know it. How many pages of discussion here are devoted to this ridiculous issue?

The sad thing is that vulnerable, insecure young kids (which many of them are at this age) get sucked right into this mess. And too many adults in their lives are failing them massively by cheering them on.

They're getting a lot of attention from people (or bots) posting on DCUM. Probably not their intended audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really OP, why would this bother you in the slightest? Not your child. Keep your homophobic thoughts to yourself. It is 2017 and there is a spectrum of feelings/love for everyone.

Yes, well, many of them are inappropriate, especially for kids. I love my cat, too. Do you want to go there?

It must be really sad to have that much hate and self-loafing in your heart, to feel that you must belittle and judge a child that is not even yours, who has done absolutely nothing wrong, on an anonymous forum.

Who is belittling and judging? Only you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if this is a fad. It seems like everyone at my kids school say they are bisexual.

Hmm, I am 43 and I am pretty sure everyone of my friends in high school and college at least made out with a girl once, if not did more. Guess the fad has never died.

And you personally surveyed this to be "pretty sure" - how?