I am currently being distant to wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/why-wives-who-do-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex_b_8395378.html

Lots of hoops to jump through. But, I'd probably jump those hoops routinely if they resulted in an active sex life. Maybe that advice works in some relationships, but I've never seen sexual frequency or enthusiasm correlate to my increased chore-load or my wife's increased downtime, at all.

So much of this is hormonal. (I see some correlation between her menstrual cycle and enthusiasm.) But women don't want to hear this -- probably related to having legitimate feelings dismissed as being because of "that time of the month." Much more pleasant to hear that it's the man's fault and he should devote his energies to improving her life.

That choreplay shit doesn't work. "You're not doing enough housework!" is just a bullshit excuse.

You're right. Maybe it's not because of the chores. Maybe it's because of your obnoxious personality.

Most wives sexual desire doesn't die, their husbands kill it. There are millions of men who think that the lack of sex is not their fault. Early in the relationship, you knew how to get laid, now you don't do any of the stuff anymore I'll bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/why-wives-who-do-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex_b_8395378.html

Lots of hoops to jump through. But, I'd probably jump those hoops routinely if they resulted in an active sex life. Maybe that advice works in some relationships, but I've never seen sexual frequency or enthusiasm correlate to my increased chore-load or my wife's increased downtime, at all.

So much of this is hormonal. (I see some correlation between her menstrual cycle and enthusiasm.) But women don't want to hear this -- probably related to having legitimate feelings dismissed as being because of "that time of the month." Much more pleasant to hear that it's the man's fault and he should devote his energies to improving her life.

That choreplay shit doesn't work. "You're not doing enough housework!" is just a bullshit excuse.

It sure isn't b.s. If one isn't getting their needs or has resentment toward their partner, that partner isn't going to get zip in return! Common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?

He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.

What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.

+1

Exactly, he gave a lot away right there. It was like he's doing her a big favor when those are equally his responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

DW here - nothing makes me madder than when DH withdraws from me. It's rare because he knows it is so damaging to a relationship. It takes me days to get over it. So you are probably adding days to your sex drought. Enjoy! You win, I guess. . .

Couldn't you just connect non-sexually by TALKING with her about your view of your relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?

He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.

What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.

+1

Exactly, he gave a lot away right there. It was like he's doing her a big favor when those are equally his responsibilities.

Fcking him is one of her responsibilities, and like all women she acts like it's a big favor when she does it.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. The banshee contingent is strong on dcum. So that's it then - no empathy for the person who's libido is kept hostage? Even if he's doing his share of the chores, etc. I guess these responses are to be expected from a site that, poster-wise, appears to skew female. Ugh, get yourself a submissive Ukrainian wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/why-wives-who-do-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex_b_8395378.html

Lots of hoops to jump through. But, I'd probably jump those hoops routinely if they resulted in an active sex life. Maybe that advice works in some relationships, but I've never seen sexual frequency or enthusiasm correlate to my increased chore-load or my wife's increased downtime, at all.

So much of this is hormonal. (I see some correlation between her menstrual cycle and enthusiasm.) But women don't want to hear this -- probably related to having legitimate feelings dismissed as being because of "that time of the month." Much more pleasant to hear that it's the man's fault and he should devote his energies to improving her life.

That choreplay shit doesn't work. "You're not doing enough housework!" is just a bullshit excuse.

It sure isn't b.s. If one isn't getting their needs or has resentment toward their partner, that partner isn't going to get zip in return! Common sense.

Common sense says... a man who acts like a woman will not be respected by a woman.

Choreplay doesn't work.

http://www.asanet.org/sites/default/files/savvy/journals/ASR/Feb13ASRFeature.pdf

Changes in the nature of marriage have spurred a debate about the consequences of shifts
to more egalitarian relationships, and media interest in the debate has crystallized around
claims that men who participate in housework get more sex. However, little systematic or
representative research supports the claim that women, in essence, exchange sex for men’s
participation in housework. Although research and theory support the expectation that
egalitarian marriages are higher quality, other studies underscore the ongoing importance of
traditional gender behavior and gender display in marriage. Using data from Wave II of the
National Survey of Families and Households, this study investigates the links between men’s
participation in core (traditionally female) and non-core (traditionally male) household tasks
and sexual frequency. Results show that both husbands and wives in couples with more
traditional housework arrangements report higher sexual frequency, suggesting the importance
of gender display rather than marital exchange for sex between heterosexual married partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. The banshee contingent is strong on dcum. So that's it then - no empathy for the person who's libido is kept hostage? Even if he's doing his share of the chores, etc. I guess these responses are to be expected from a site that, poster-wise, appears to skew female. Ugh, get yourself a submissive Ukrainian wife.

You don't know any Ukrainians, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?

He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.

What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.

+1

Exactly, he gave a lot away right there. It was like he's doing her a big favor when those are equally his responsibilities.

Fcking him is one of her responsibilities, and like all women she acts like it's a big favor when she does it.

+1 (from a woman)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?

He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.

What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.

+1

Exactly, he gave a lot away right there. It was like he's doing her a big favor when those are equally his responsibilities.

Fcking him is one of her responsibilities, and like all women she acts like it's a big favor when she does it.

+1 (from a woman)

So pat yourself on the back. You're dismissing the fact that many women are in abusive relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a great strategy. A cold nasty husband makes me feel all horny...yep.

He feels rejected. I get it. There comes a point where you just give up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/why-wives-who-do-all-the-housework-dont-want-sex_b_8395378.html

Lots of hoops to jump through. But, I'd probably jump those hoops routinely if they resulted in an active sex life. Maybe that advice works in some relationships, but I've never seen sexual frequency or enthusiasm correlate to my increased chore-load or my wife's increased downtime, at all.

So much of this is hormonal. (I see some correlation between her menstrual cycle and enthusiasm.) But women don't want to hear this -- probably related to having legitimate feelings dismissed as being because of "that time of the month." Much more pleasant to hear that it's the man's fault and he should devote his energies to improving her life.

That choreplay shit doesn't work. "You're not doing enough housework!" is just a bullshit excuse.

You're right. Maybe it's not because of the chores. Maybe it's because of your obnoxious personality.

Most wives sexual desire doesn't die, their husbands kill it. There are millions of men who think that the lack of sex is not their fault. Early in the relationship, you knew how to get laid, now you don't do any of the stuff anymore I'll bet.

I mostly just drank and studied. She would come by the bar where I was drinking, we'd have a few laughs, and then we'd go have sex. I'm happy to hang out in bars again if you think it would help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. The banshee contingent is strong on dcum. So that's it then - no empathy for the person who's libido is kept hostage? Even if he's doing his share of the chores, etc. I guess these responses are to be expected from a site that, poster-wise, appears to skew female. Ugh, get yourself a submissive Ukrainian wife.

You don't know any Ukrainians, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?

He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.

What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.

+1

Exactly, he gave a lot away right there. It was like he's doing her a big favor when those are equally his responsibilities.

A study just came out showing that couples these days are having significantly less sex than older generations.

Men are doing way more household chores and child rearing than their fathers or grandfathers did. So being equal participants around the house has no correlation with sexual frequency. It may be that he has to step up and do more of the work outside of the house and she should do less if that's what it takes to recharge her sexual batteries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?

He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.

What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.

+1

Exactly, he gave a lot away right there. It was like he's doing her a big favor when those are equally his responsibilities.

Fcking him is one of her responsibilities, and like all women she acts like it's a big favor when she does it.

+1 (from a woman)

So pat yourself on the back. You're dismissing the fact that many women are in abusive relationships.

Quite frankly, I think the term "abusive" gets thrown around far too lightly in these parts.