I am currently being distant to wife

[Anonymous]

22:25, you're seeing what you want to see. I also wrote sometimes it's a medical reason a woman may not want sex. How is that blaming a man?

So reject what you don't like and see where that gets you. I think you like blaming women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is an institution created to raise children in a stable and safe home in a civil society, and not an institution created solely to give men sex on demand.

The connection you are deliberately failing to make is that men accept the burden of monogamy and children in exchange for sex on demand.

If the man doesn't get sex on demand from a faithful wife, he simply has no reason to agree to marry and raise children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is an institution created to raise children in a stable and safe home in a civil society, and not an institution created solely to give men sex on demand.

The connection you are deliberately failing to make is that men accept the burden of monogamy and children in exchange for sex on demand.

If the man doesn't get sex on demand from a faithful wife, he simply has no reason to agree to marry and raise children.

I see your point much more clearly than you think.

What you fail to understand is that in spite of everyone's best intentions on their wedding day, it's a leap of faith, for both. Life throws everyone at least a few unexpected curve balls. That's why traditional marriage vows say for better OR FOR WORSE. It seems you want me to say, okay, no more sex on demand, you have a defective wife, get a divorce! That's not up to me, really. That's under the governance of religious and government institutions, which by the way, have largely been set up by our foreFATHERS and clergyMEN. What kind of stable family (if you have children) or society does that create, when every man has license to dump a wife for failing to have sex daily? Not everything can realistically revolve around a man's sex drive over a lifetime. Really -- every. single. time.? Get over it. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing for her? Have you talked to her about how you feel? Does she work, too? Any kids?

He said he works, stays in shape, cooks, and feeds the kids. And, he initiates sex. If my wife was doing all that for me, I'd be ecstatic.

What is he doing for her? Working, cooking and feeding the kids are part of the family. That's not for her. Buying flowers and gifts. Taking her out and fully planning it, including child care is for her. Just sitting with her.

+1

Exactly, he gave a lot away right there. It was like he's doing her a big favor when those are equally his responsibilities.

A study just came out showing that couples these days are having significantly less sex than older generations.

Men are doing way more household chores and child rearing than their fathers or grandfathers did. So being equal participants around the house has no correlation with sexual frequency. It may be that he has to step up and do more of the work outside of the house and she should do less if that's what it takes to recharge her sexual batteries.

In fact, I think the 'choreplay' deal actually turns out opposite. Women lose sexual interest in a man that runs around the house in an apron. Prepare for the coming protestations...most women are more sexually attracted to gruff, outdoorsy men. Men who are men. They may choose a man for a mate who helps around the house, but that ain't who she wants to bang...This isn't a justification for a man not doing housework. It's just a reality.

I agree that making dinner isn't a turn-on, but if my DH could fix things around the house? Little things like weatherstripping a door so we don't get an arctic blast when we go near it. At this point, I would settle for him noticing things like this and arranging for a handyman to come. Any of the above would pay off for him that night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know her age and what her lifestyle is like (I.e., children/workload/etc.), but expecting daily sex is not actually doable for many people.

Just sayin'......

Honestly if someone expected that of me I would hope for a car accident. Why do I want a 2nd or 3rd job when I come home?

If you are a dependent selfish sob then please don't be married. It's not all about you, and not my responsibility to make sure your unrealistic needs are met.

Actually, yeah, it is your job to make sure your spouse's sexual needs are met.

Why do you get to decide what is "selfish" and "unrealistic"? Your spouse could, with as much justice, argue that you are being selfish and unrealistic by refusing to have sex every day.

Or even every year. :./

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What you fail to understand is that in spite of everyone's best intentions on their wedding day, it's a leap of faith, for both. Life throws everyone at least a few unexpected curve balls. That's why traditional marriage vows say for better OR FOR WORSE. It seems you want me to say, okay, no more sex on demand, you have a defective wife, get a divorce! That's not up to me, really. That's under the governance of religious and government institutions, which by the way, have largely been set up by our foreFATHERS and clergyMEN. What kind of stable family (if you have children) or society does that create, when every man has license to dump a wife for failing to have sex daily? Not everything can realistically revolve around a man's sex drive over a lifetime. Really -- every. single. time.? Get over it. Grow up.

In point of fact it is the WOMEN today who are dumping their husbands at the drop of a hat.

"Marriage" today was created BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN, with the state as enforcer.

There is no reason for any man to sign on to it.

And oh by the way, the resulting lack of stable families and stable society today can be laid squarely at the feet OF WOMEN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What you fail to understand is that in spite of everyone's best intentions on their wedding day, it's a leap of faith, for both. Life throws everyone at least a few unexpected curve balls. That's why traditional marriage vows say for better OR FOR WORSE. It seems you want me to say, okay, no more sex on demand, you have a defective wife, get a divorce! That's not up to me, really. That's under the governance of religious and government institutions, which by the way, have largely been set up by our foreFATHERS and clergyMEN. What kind of stable family (if you have children) or society does that create, when every man has license to dump a wife for failing to have sex daily? Not everything can realistically revolve around a man's sex drive over a lifetime. Really -- every. single. time.? Get over it. Grow up.

In point of fact it is the WOMEN today who are dumping their husbands at the drop of a hat.

"Marriage" today was created BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN, with the state as enforcer.

There is no reason for any man to sign on to it.

And oh by the way, the resulting lack of stable families and stable society today can be laid squarely at the feet OF WOMEN.

So?

Please cite your sources that say marriage was created by women, for women, because patriarchy has been around for centuries.

You presumably got married of your own free will. If you had the wrong idea about marriage, then where did that come from? Surely you must've heard older men grumbling about their marriages, and that didn't give you pause?

If you're really so unhappy now, you're equally free to seek out a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What you fail to understand is that in spite of everyone's best intentions on their wedding day, it's a leap of faith, for both. Life throws everyone at least a few unexpected curve balls. That's why traditional marriage vows say for better OR FOR WORSE. It seems you want me to say, okay, no more sex on demand, you have a defective wife, get a divorce! That's not up to me, really. That's under the governance of religious and government institutions, which by the way, have largely been set up by our foreFATHERS and clergyMEN. What kind of stable family (if you have children) or society does that create, when every man has license to dump a wife for failing to have sex daily? Not everything can realistically revolve around a man's sex drive over a lifetime. Really -- every. single. time.? Get over it. Grow up.

In point of fact it is the WOMEN today who are dumping their husbands at the drop of a hat.

"Marriage" today was created BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN, with the state as enforcer.

There is no reason for any man to sign on to it.

And oh by the way, the resulting lack of stable families and stable society today can be laid squarely at the feet OF WOMEN.

You sound really bitter that you can no longer legally rape your wife, be the owner of whatever she brings to the marriage, and have say over everything she does. You were born too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What you fail to understand is that in spite of everyone's best intentions on their wedding day, it's a leap of faith, for both. Life throws everyone at least a few unexpected curve balls. That's why traditional marriage vows say for better OR FOR WORSE. It seems you want me to say, okay, no more sex on demand, you have a defective wife, get a divorce! That's not up to me, really. That's under the governance of religious and government institutions, which by the way, have largely been set up by our foreFATHERS and clergyMEN. What kind of stable family (if you have children) or society does that create, when every man has license to dump a wife for failing to have sex daily? Not everything can realistically revolve around a man's sex drive over a lifetime. Really -- every. single. time.? Get over it. Grow up.

In point of fact it is the WOMEN today who are dumping their husbands at the drop of a hat.

"Marriage" today was created BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN, with the state as enforcer.

There is no reason for any man to sign on to it.

And oh by the way, the resulting lack of stable families and stable society today can be laid squarely at the feet OF WOMEN.

You sound really bitter that you can no longer legally rape your wife, be the owner of whatever she brings to the marriage, and have say over everything she does. You were born too late.

Marriage before "no fault" divorce wasn't like that, idiot, but nice straw man.

You can blather all you want about "bitterness" but it doesn't alter the fact that marriage today has no benefit for men, and men are responding by not signing up for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What you fail to understand is that in spite of everyone's best intentions on their wedding day, it's a leap of faith, for both. Life throws everyone at least a few unexpected curve balls. That's why traditional marriage vows say for better OR FOR WORSE. It seems you want me to say, okay, no more sex on demand, you have a defective wife, get a divorce! That's not up to me, really. That's under the governance of religious and government institutions, which by the way, have largely been set up by our foreFATHERS and clergyMEN. What kind of stable family (if you have children) or society does that create, when every man has license to dump a wife for failing to have sex daily? Not everything can realistically revolve around a man's sex drive over a lifetime. Really -- every. single. time.? Get over it. Grow up.

In point of fact it is the WOMEN today who are dumping their husbands at the drop of a hat.

"Marriage" today was created BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN, with the state as enforcer.

There is no reason for any man to sign on to it.

And oh by the way, the resulting lack of stable families and stable society today can be laid squarely at the feet OF WOMEN.

You sound really bitter that you can no longer legally rape your wife, be the owner of whatever she brings to the marriage, and have say over everything she does. You were born too late.

Yep, that's the way I saw his post. Women don't have to stay with men who are tired of going to work for 8 hours and having another job when they get home. They are tired of having to babysit the kids and a husband. Many don't want to do the duty sex to keep a roof over their head if they can afford it themselves. Sadly too many women can't and are stuck. Other's divorce and are completely happy with their kids, friends, family and pets.
The pp needs to get a life, hobbies or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

What you fail to understand is that in spite of everyone's best intentions on their wedding day, it's a leap of faith, for both. Life throws everyone at least a few unexpected curve balls. That's why traditional marriage vows say for better OR FOR WORSE. It seems you want me to say, okay, no more sex on demand, you have a defective wife, get a divorce! That's not up to me, really. That's under the governance of religious and government institutions, which by the way, have largely been set up by our foreFATHERS and clergyMEN. What kind of stable family (if you have children) or society does that create, when every man has license to dump a wife for failing to have sex daily? Not everything can realistically revolve around a man's sex drive over a lifetime. Really -- every. single. time.? Get over it. Grow up.

In point of fact it is the WOMEN today who are dumping their husbands at the drop of a hat.

"Marriage" today was created BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN, with the state as enforcer.

There is no reason for any man to sign on to it.

And oh by the way, the resulting lack of stable families and stable society today can be laid squarely at the feet OF WOMEN.

You sound really bitter that you can no longer legally rape your wife, be the owner of whatever she brings to the marriage, and have say over everything she does. You were born too late.

Marriage before "no fault" divorce wasn't like that, idiot, but nice straw man.

You can blather all you want about "bitterness" but it doesn't alter the fact that marriage today has no benefit for men, and men are responding by not signing up for it.

They are still impregnating women which is a much larger commitment. They are signing up for that in droves!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yep, that's the way I saw his post. Women don't have to stay with men who are tired of going to work for 8 hours and having another job when they get home. They are tired of having to babysit the kids and a husband. Many don't want to do the duty sex to keep a roof over their head if they can afford it themselves. Sadly too many women can't and are stuck. Other's divorce and are completely happy with their kids, friends, family and pets.
The pp needs to get a life, hobbies or something.

Well if marriage sucks so bad, and is such a bad deal for women, why do they want men to agree to it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yep, that's the way I saw his post. Women don't have to stay with men who are tired of going to work for 8 hours and having another job when they get home. They are tired of having to babysit the kids and a husband. Many don't want to do the duty sex to keep a roof over their head if they can afford it themselves. Sadly too many women can't and are stuck. Other's divorce and are completely happy with their kids, friends, family and pets.
The pp needs to get a life, hobbies or something.

Well if marriage sucks so bad, and is such a bad deal for women, why do they want men to agree to it?

Maybe you should be asking yourself why you agreed to do something that you didn't want to do.

For both sexes, it's how we've been socialized. Everyone has rose colored glasses on before a first marriage. It's only at some point after the wedding that reality creeps or crashes in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:22:25, you're seeing what you want to see. I also wrote sometimes it's a medical reason a woman may not want sex. How is that blaming a man?

OK, your gyno says no sex. What does your dentist say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:25, you're seeing what you want to see. I also wrote sometimes it's a medical reason a woman may not want sex. How is that blaming a man?

OK, your gyno says no sex. What does your dentist say?

Bite hard. Psychological and emotional reasons are under the umbrella of "medical."