Question for women: do you feel pressure to maintain your looks for your husband?
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Anonymous
Not the PP, but I think you would have to be extremely petite to cause an average man to lose interest over 10 pounds of extra weight. But I don't know any men who think the ideal general size is a size 2 on an average height woman, so maybe I am biased. |
Anonymous
| Why is this even a question. What we should find out is if MEN feel pressure to stay fit for their wives. My DH surely doesn't care. |
Anonymous
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My ex boyfriend was a workout and fitness junkie who had the body of a greek god. He was very judgmental towards people and specifically women who did not work out. He flat-out told me that he doesn't find unfit or fat women attractive.
My husband is much more forgiving and he hardly notices slight fluctuations in weight. Since I am petite, when I gain weight it usually goes to my ass and boobs which he loves. He has told me he will love me however always. Regardless, I do feel a self inflicted pressure to look as "hot" as possible. For vanity reasons and also because I am a year older than my husband. At 29 I don't look much different than the 25 year old wives of his friends and colleagues. But as we get older I am insecure about looking the "old one" and him being surrounded by younger women. So I gotta keep up! |
Anonymous
It is way more than 10 lbs if the DH isn't sexually attracted. Men don't even notice 10 lbs. |
Anonymous
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I want to look good for MYSELF. You can never go back to what you were before - bodies change over time, in ways that are genetically encoded. Some of your old clothes may not fit, even if you go back to the same weight. Fat is redistributed, hips widen, breasts don't stay the same size, cheeks change shape... So you must work with what you have, OP. Sometimes people are HAPPIER with their 30s, 40s or 50s bodies than the ones they had before. |
Anonymous
oh, my husband feels the pressure. And I don't even care(well, if he was 50 pounds overweight, I would). |
Anonymous
| I exercise a lot Dw has mentioned that she does exercise for herself, but also somewhat because I exercise so much she feels she has to. She has a tight rocking body like one of those girls in the fitspo pictures, but is 42 and a mother. I told her not to do it for me think she is hot now, also thought she was hot after giving birth with a little extra weight on her |
Anonymous
| No. I make as much money as my husband and he's gained at least 40 pounds. I feel pressure to maintain my looks for the men I will be with after my marriage is over. |
Anonymous
My DH is probably 40 pounds over the weight he likes to be. And about 50 pounds over what I like him to be. Yeah, I care. |
Anonymous
| I don't try to maintain my looks for my husband, I do it for myself. I'm 5'5" and my weight wavers between 130 and high 140's and I don't like the way I look in my clothes at the high end. Muffin tops, lumpy back etc. Ugh! I know my DH prefers me at the low end because of how he "responds" and he says little when I'm at the high end which is a response on its own! I'm no spring chicken (60's) but I do enjoy receiving compliments from my GF's and sometimes their husbands when I look good. So I'm a little vain! My DH also tries to stay fit and he is much better about working out then I am. I mostly diet to lose weight but he won't give up his nightly drink to lose weight! When I dress casually I will never wear baggy sweats or go out without quickly fixing my hair and adding a bit of make-up. If I look good I feel good. |
Anonymous
Work it girl! |
Anonymous
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I maintain my looks for myself not DH although I love him dearly. We have been together since I was 22 and am 51 now with a kid in elementary school. I like being very fit, slim and wearing beautiful clothes.
Looking good makes me feel confident and good about myself. |
Anonymous
DH here - I don't pressure my DW nor does she pressure me but we both work pretty hard to stay fit. There are a lot more compliments when we are both fit then when we are not. So the pressure may be subliminal. Also, I'm pretty sure that hopping in the sack with a fat person has never been on either of our bucket lists! |
Anonymous
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Not pressure but I love knowing that he thinks I look hot. I've gone up and down on weight and I recently went through a long ass IDGAF phase where I was 50 pounds overweight. Have lost 35 of them. While DH loves me at any size, his increased attraction is noticeable and makes me feel good. I lost the weight for me but knowing it turns him on makes it even better.
BTW, DH is not overweight. I would be unattracted to him at a bigger weight. He knows this and stays in shape as a result. |
Anonymous
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A DH here. No, I don't notice 10-15 pounds. DW was 5'7" 120lbs when we married (mid 30s) and is now 145lbs (early 50s). She still looks great to me, though of course my eyesight and appetite aren't what they were.
That said, I do feel pressure to keep the money flowing in -- more that than to keep my looks up. In my 50+ years on the planet, I've noticed that women are less visual, more financial. |