Anyone regret becoming a stay at home mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fundamentally do not think I am capable of "outsourcing" childcare. Even though mentally and logically I understand that working outside the home is probably a good idea, there is some deeper instinct that doesn't allow me to just drop my kids At daycare 40+ hours a week. I couldn't do it. My job opportunities now aren't great, but they weren't that great five years ago, and they certainly aren't dire either. I'll get a job when it makes sense for our family. In the meantime, I'm here for my kids and my husband and the community and our extended families. No job is more important than my kids. Period.

+ 1

I totally agree. Feel very lucky that I was able to stay home with my kids as long as I did. Loved every minute of it (that's not to say it was never hard or frustrating but even on my "bad" days it was still miles better than working in my old job). I went back to work part time when my youngest was around 12.

[Anonymous]

It's a good one! But I'm not outing myself on DCUM, sorry. Thanks for backtracking on all of the insults and assumptions! It's refreshing for DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again with the assumptions. I actually dropped out of college to make my own way.

But anyway- you even being on this thread shows you are either jealous or someone who had no choices. Happy working women are content with their lives and don't come on threads that have NOTHING to do with them and insult others. It's pathetic.

I'm sorry, where did I insult someone? Except you who started out with the whole 'why are you on this thread'. I wasn't insulting to say most of the SAHM I knew are not career focused and likely weren't partner track; I am certainly not but I didn't marry a DH who was so don't have that luxury to SAH.

You were the one who jumped on me, basically telling me to shove off. For some one who retired at 31 you seem a bit high strung.

But would be happy to hear your story and make peace, because I am looking for a way to SAH and amassing a massive retirement in 5 years of working would be a good lesson.

[Anonymous]

High strung? Maybe, been cooped up recovering from surgery.

Hopefully soon I can "hit the gym to keep hubby happy".

If you don't think your posts insulted SAHM I probably would be wasting time engaging further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High strung? Maybe, been cooped up recovering from surgery.

Hopefully soon I can "hit the gym to keep hubby happy".

If you don't think your posts insulted SAHM I probably would be wasting time engaging further.

Don't run away from a fight you started you just got my dander up but saying 'why you here' and swaggering your wealth. Very curious how you managed to amass a fortune without connection or guidance from family. When I was 25 I thought making $50k was the big time, it was more than both my parents combined and more money than the house I grew up in was worth. How did you have the skills to huddle to make millions to retire in 5 years, were you lucky in real estate boom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:High strung? Maybe, been cooped up recovering from surgery.

Hopefully soon I can "hit the gym to keep hubby happy".

If you don't think your posts insulted SAHM I probably would be wasting time engaging further.

+1 these SAHM questions seem to only want to insult SAHM's. I really don't think you wanted to hear from SAHM's the way you attack a personal opionion.
If you feel you can't afford it staying home than you don't have much of a choice anyway.

[Anonymous]

If my MIL starting lecturing me on whether I should SAHM or work, I would start avoiding her. My mom would rail against being a SAHM but she and Dad had an unhappy marriage from the beginning so I never used them as a model for my own household. DH and I have been a team since college and we have always done what works for us and our family. Parents should mind their own business once their children are adults and out of their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as DH keeps paying the bills, who could possiblly regret retiring at 28! And it's even better than normal retirement because it gets better over time as the kids get more independent and art in school.

Now talk to SAHM who's DH left them or ended up with illness or career setback, They might sing a different song.

But honestly, most SAHM never had that great a career anyway, even the lawyers weren't on track to be partners and would have ended up as some GS lawyer or in-house lackey for a career focused GC.

Most SAHMs I know were teachers, HR, assistants, random marketing jobs etc. so yeah there was only so much career growth and money to be had and it wasn't worth it when rolling out of bed and going to yoga was an option. But I wouldn't generalize that all female attys who aren't partner track fall into this role; there ARE attys -- male and female -- who want to be GS attys or in house, even if not GC. Not sure why you'd consider an in house atty at an investment bank making 300k to be lacking career focus - just bc she won't likely be GC. I know the kind of female attys you're talking about -- got good enough grades to go to a top law school; got a firm job; WHINED their way through their junior associate yrs focused on either getting the law school or law firm boyfriend to propose; and once the ring was secure -- time to step back to "help" his career -- i.e. push HIM to make partner or GC while they hang out in yoga pants. TONS of those types running all over Bethesda and Arlington during the day. But tons of non partner track attys are still doing decent things in jobs that are coveted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High strung? Maybe, been cooped up recovering from surgery.

Hopefully soon I can "hit the gym to keep hubby happy".

If you don't think your posts insulted SAHM I probably would be wasting time engaging further.

Don't run away from a fight you started you just got my dander up but saying 'why you here' and swaggering your wealth. Very curious how you managed to amass a fortune without connection or guidance from family. When I was 25 I thought making $50k was the big time, it was more than both my parents combined and more money than the house I grew up in was worth. How did you have the skills to huddle to make millions to retire in 5 years, were you lucky in real estate boom?

NP- where are you getting this 5 year thing? Working from 19 to 31 is 12 years by my math.

[Anonymous]

Not if I look at my children.

[Anonymous]

^^Such bitter pps. Obviously unhappy with their choices since they need to denigrate those of other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High strung? Maybe, been cooped up recovering from surgery.

Hopefully soon I can "hit the gym to keep hubby happy".

If you don't think your posts insulted SAHM I probably would be wasting time engaging further.

Don't run away from a fight you started you just got my dander up but saying 'why you here' and swaggering your wealth. Very curious how you managed to amass a fortune without connection or guidance from family. When I was 25 I thought making $50k was the big time, it was more than both my parents combined and more money than the house I grew up in was worth. How did you have the skills to huddle to make millions to retire in 5 years, were you lucky in real estate boom?

NP- where are you getting this 5 year thing? Working from 19 to 31 is 12 years by my math.

True 5 years was based upon graduating from college, and was just around 25-30 estimation of when her career was gangbusters.

Earning millions while early 20s is even exceptional, at least as much as doing it in 5 years after college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as DH keeps paying the bills, who could possiblly regret retiring at 28! And it's even better than normal retirement because it gets better over time as the kids get more independent and art in school.

Now talk to SAHM who's DH left them or ended up with illness or career setback, They might sing a different song.

But honestly, most SAHM never had that great a career anyway, even the lawyers weren't on track to be partners and would have ended up as some GS lawyer or in-house lackey for a career focused GC.

Oh dear, you certainly have a small circle. Obviously spend too much time hanging around attorneys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As long as DH keeps paying the bills, who could possiblly regret retiring at 28! And it's even better than normal retirement because it gets better over time as the kids get more independent and art in school.

Now talk to SAHM who's DH left them or ended up with illness or career setback, They might sing a different song.

But honestly, most SAHM never had that great a career anyway, even the lawyers weren't on track to be partners and would have ended up as some GS lawyer or in-house lackey for a career focused GC.

Most SAHMs I know were teachers, HR, assistants, random marketing jobs etc. so yeah there was only so much career growth and money to be had and it wasn't worth it when rolling out of bed and going to yoga was an option. But I wouldn't generalize that all female attys who aren't partner track fall into this role; there ARE attys -- male and female -- who want to be GS attys or in house, even if not GC. Not sure why you'd consider an in house atty at an investment bank making 300k to be lacking career focus - just bc she won't likely be GC. I know the kind of female attys you're talking about -- got good enough grades to go to a top law school; got a firm job; WHINED their way through their junior associate yrs focused on either getting the law school or law firm boyfriend to propose; and once the ring was secure -- time to step back to "help" his career -- i.e. push HIM to make partner or GC while they hang out in yoga pants. TONS of those types running all over Bethesda and Arlington during the day. But tons of non partner track attys are still doing decent things in jobs that are coveted.

OMG THIS. Tons of this at my biglaw firm. They washed out pretty quickly though -- 1-3 yrs typically. No one wanted to work with them, nor did they want to do the work. It was all about being able to say they were an attorney and consequently being able to get with the right "type" of life partner. Once that was done, they were out thankfully; or if that didn't work out, they were still out -- but to the types of jobs that people with top degrees really don't aspire to -- these weren't the in house investment banking or AUSA types.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High strung? Maybe, been cooped up recovering from surgery.

Hopefully soon I can "hit the gym to keep hubby happy".

If you don't think your posts insulted SAHM I probably would be wasting time engaging further.

Don't run away from a fight you started you just got my dander up but saying 'why you here' and swaggering your wealth. Very curious how you managed to amass a fortune without connection or guidance from family. When I was 25 I thought making $50k was the big time, it was more than both my parents combined and more money than the house I grew up in was worth. How did you have the skills to huddle to make millions to retire in 5 years, were you lucky in real estate boom?

NP- where are you getting this 5 year thing? Working from 19 to 31 is 12 years by my math.

True 5 years was based upon graduating from college, and was just around 25-30 estimation of when her career was gangbusters.

Earning millions while early 20s is even exceptional, at least as much as doing it in 5 years after college

What?