Can someone please tell me what to do

[Anonymous]

I totally see your point here OP. It is not so much about the dog, it is really about the way he has treated you.

I mean, sure you could always hire someone to assist you w/the dog, etc., but the elephant in the room (not you silly girl!) will always remain and I think the hurt you have inside of you will grow into resentment, anger and overall bitterness. At least it would for me.

He should not be allowing you to carry such a heavy animal up and down the stairs regardless if it is your pet or his. He should be going out of his way now to make sure you are comfortable and not doing anything to put you or the baby in harm's way. He knows this because that is why he initially offered to help you out.

Then he went back on his word which is pretty crummy of him to do and to top that all off, he disrespected you pretty much in one of the worst verbal ways a man can to a woman. And the mother of his soon to be child!

I don't blame you for leaving him over this OP. I would have done the exact same thing.

You deserve respect in your own home. This environment does not bode well for a new baby I am afraid.

If you have the means to travel, and have a close relationship w/your family, I would go to them if they can offer you some positive support right now.

This guy sounds to me like a useless jerk with zero class who's word carries no weight and has no respect for women in general.

I can promise you, if you stay with him after you have this baby, you are setting both of you in for years and years of heartache, drama and pure disappointment.

Get out now before your baby gets affected.

Good luck to you both.

[Anonymous]

OP - I hope you're sound asleep, snuggled warm in that hotel bed, with no plans to leave. Movies, naps, room service....nothing else for at least today and hopefully tomorrow too.

Please don't go home until you've made yourself CLEAR, like PP's awesome GM from Westchester.

Enjoy today, the peace, quiet, alone time and know many of us are thinking of you and pulling for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

I'm so sorry OP, I know how you feel. I think we are married to the same man. My H is exactly like this. I think he is a sociopath, or at the very least a borderline personality. He has no empathy at all, and it sounds like your DH is very similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

I'm so sorry OP, I know how you feel. I think we are married to the same man. My H is exactly like this. I think he is a sociopath, or at the very least a borderline personality. He has no empathy at all, and it sounds like your DH is very similar.

I will add that my H and I had a similar issue. We had an elderly dog that could no longer get down our stairs to get to the backyard to do her business. He also expected me to carry her down 2 flights of stairs during my pregnancy....when I was leary of trying to get down the stairs even without worrying about carrying a 40 pound dog down with me. When I got to about 8 months, I just told him I refused to do it anymore and let her just pee and poop in the house until he started doing it. We put her down shortly afterward (which I was okay with, it was time IMO). He has been a total shithead with the new baby also, refusing to help at all, then calling me lazy and a terrible mom. I'm currently saving up money on the side for a divorce attorney. Men/people like this don't change.

[Anonymous]

Just checking in to see how you're doing. I bet you're probably still asleep after the long night you've had. Stay strong op. We are in your corner.

[Anonymous]

Is this thread for real?

OP is hormonal and her reaction completely and utterly over the top. The dram is nuts.

DH knows it's time for the dog. I once was OP and had a dog going on 17. Just like the OP I thought the dog was "fine",etc but the dog could no longer go down steps and yes we had to let the dog go on the deck. Deck was ruined btw. How exactly is OP going to keep up is ridiculous routine with the dog and deal with a newborn when she gets so very easily stressed out? The answer is she can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this thread for real?

OP is hormonal and her reaction completely and utterly over the top. The dram is nuts.

DH knows it's time for the dog. I once was OP and had a dog going on 17. Just like the OP I thought the dog was "fine",etc but the dog could no longer go down steps and yes we had to let the dog go on the deck. Deck was ruined btw. How exactly is OP going to keep up is ridiculous routine with the dog and deal with a newborn when she gets so very easily stressed out? The answer is she can't.

The op already has a verbally abusive husband. She certainly doesn't need a verbally abusive dcumer in her life, too.

We already discussed earlier in the thread that the true issue is not with the dog but about the way her husband treats her.

Please don't disrespect the op.

[Anonymous]

I'm hoping your still asleep in your lovely hotel room, OP. I'm troubled by your husband's actions. If he's this way with the dog, I can only imagine how bad it will get with the demands of a newborn - which are 100x worse than those of an eldery dog. Since you said counseling was helpful in the past, I hope you'll consider going back - individual and couples. You're going to need some assistance in figuring out what's best for YOU. Hugs.

BTW - I used to work at the front desk of a Westin hotel. I wouldn't have blinked if someone dressed like you had asked for a room at 3AM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this thread for real?

OP is hormonal and her reaction completely and utterly over the top. The dram is nuts.

DH knows it's time for the dog. I once was OP and had a dog going on 17. Just like the OP I thought the dog was "fine",etc but the dog could no longer go down steps and yes we had to let the dog go on the deck. Deck was ruined btw. How exactly is OP going to keep up is ridiculous routine with the dog and deal with a newborn when she gets so very easily stressed out? The answer is she can't.

Having not seen the dog, I cannot comment on if it's time to put it down or not, but I agree OP's expectations regarding the dog are a little over the top. The dog weighs 15 pounds--less than an infant plus bucket seat. OP did not indicate she is high risk, so there is no reason why she can't carry 15 pounds up and down the stairs. Those of us on our second pregnancy do it all the time (with a lot more weight than 15 pounds). OP sounds like a pregnant princess.

I agree OP's husband should not tell her to fuck off. Ever. But he was probably tired as well, stressed about the holidays, and probably a little sick of OP's demands. He probably just went to bed when she left because that's how you're supposed to react to a temper tantrum--just be calm and not let it derail you.

Maybe a refresher with the therapist would both do them some good, because Pps are right that life will only get more stressful once there is a newborn.

[Anonymous]

NP. Just read through this thread. The mean posters were bound to find the thread, too, but it was really nice to see how many kind, supportive posters were up in the middle of the night and willing to help out a woman in need. To the middle-of-the-night posters: you're good people. Thanks for that.

[Anonymous]

So glad you stayed in the hotel!!! Do not go back home- go to a friend's if you can't fly. Tell your husband calmly that his behavior hurt you and is unacceptable to you. Do not go back. Call a lawyer if you want advice on how to stay away without jeopardizing custody.

I was in your shoes. I sat in a car in front of a hotel for several hours one night because my husband yelled and cursed at me. I chickened out and went back home. Other times he yelled, cursed, threw things, I thought about going to friends but was embarrassed and didn't want them to know what was going on. Eventually he graduated to kicking holes in walls and pushing me. I finally did leave him, but I would have saved myself years of emotional trauma by walking out the very first time.

I am rooting for you and you baby! Do not accept the unacceptable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Just read through this thread. The mean posters were bound to find the thread, too, but it was really nice to see how many kind, supportive posters were up in the middle of the night and willing to help out a woman in need. To the middle-of-the-night posters: you're good people. Thanks for that.

+1 nice to see this support for OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Just read through this thread. The mean posters were bound to find the thread, too, but it was really nice to see how many kind, supportive posters were up in the middle of the night and willing to help out a woman in need. To the middle-of-the-night posters: you're good people. Thanks for that.

+1 nice to see this support for OP

+2 i also loved seeing people rally around the OP
OP, I hope you got some rest and are feeling a little better today. You learned something important about your husband last night; even as your anger and emotions fade, don't forget it.

[Anonymous]

Did OP leave the dog with the husband? I worry about the dog.

[Anonymous]

It makes me so angry that women decide to have babies with men like this.