Can someone please tell me what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

Thats awful. The fact that he is not even responding to your telling him you are flying home is very telling. For your own sake:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus I desperately have to pee. Main issue now is do I really have the guts to walk into a full service mariott in my flip flops, pjs, and bath robe. At least I'm a gold member.

Im sure they have seen worse. It is 3:30 am now and the holidays, so they will know it's unusual circumstancs. If you are really embarrassed maybe make a joke to the front desk lady about your heat shutting off in the middle of the night, or a watermain flooding your apartment suddenly. I'm guessing she wont even raise an eyebrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

Def stay at the hotel tonight. I would advise against flying out but if you stay I see the precedent it will set re: empty threats. This is a tough situation and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.

Are you tired or is the adrenaline of the whole situation forcing you to stay up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

Thats awful. The fact that he is not even responding to your telling him you are flying home is very telling. For your own sake:

Yes it is like that phrase "fire and forget". It's like no big deal to him. I know if I talked to him that way and he left I would feel so guilty and call to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

Def stay at the hotel tonight. I would advise against flying out but if you stay I see the precedent it will set re: empty threats. This is a tough situation and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.

Are you tired or is the adrenaline of the whole situation forcing you to stay up?

I'm tired! I'm so grateful to you all for giving me strength. I'm so tired and unprepared that without DCUM I might have just gone back home. It's amazing how the hurt fades after a few hours and the mind wants to forgive and forget. But I know I need to stand up for myself on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus I desperately have to pee. Main issue now is do I really have the guts to walk into a full service mariott in my flip flops, pjs, and bath robe. At least I'm a gold member.

Girl, please. Walk in and go to the bathroom. It should be near the elevators or on the first floor somwhere. Walk with confidence and act like you know where you're going. They will think you are a guest there. Once you've peed then you can comfortably contemplate what to do next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

Thats awful. The fact that he is not even responding to your telling him you are flying home is very telling. For your own sake:

Yes it is like that phrase "fire and forget". It's like no big deal to him. I know if I talked to him that way and he left I would feel so guilty and call to apologize.

It says a lot about his character and how he will handle conflict. This is a big deal. He knows you are upset, sitting in your car in front of the Marriot, and pregnant. And he went to sleep with no worries.

This is not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

I'm sorry OP. This is an awful situation for you. If it makes you feel any better, you have several posters on here who are feeling for you. You are in my thoughts and well wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

Def stay at the hotel tonight. I would advise against flying out but if you stay I see the precedent it will set re: empty threats. This is a tough situation and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.

Are you tired or is the adrenaline of the whole situation forcing you to stay up?

I'm tired! I'm so grateful to you all for giving me strength. I'm so tired and unprepared that without DCUM I might have just gone back home. It's amazing how the hurt fades after a few hours and the mind wants to forgive and forget. But I know I need to stand up for myself on this one.

It's no problem. We are here for you. I can tell that there are several posters outside of myself writing to you. I'm up nursing right now. I can stay up with you if you need someone to talk to.

[Anonymous]

OP, let me tell you a story:

Shortly after my grandfather had married my grandmother, and moved them to a lovely house out in the suburbs (westchester county), he decided to spend one night flirting with on of my GM's friends. At one point the friend perched herself on my GF's lap and giggled.

My GM shot dagger glares at both, and they chortled about it, my GF calling her a spoil sport.

Well, they went home from the party.

The next morning, GM had ever bag of her's packed and waiting in the kitchen. When my GF came down to make breakfast, he saw my GM waiting. GM calmly informed him that a cab was on the way, that she had already contacted her old apartment building in Manhattan and she would be moving back in. And she had contacted her former boss, and would be resuming her job as a secretary.

My GM says she will never forget the look on GF's face. He literally got down on his knees in the kitchen and begged her to stay. After some back and forth, she relented. But my GF called every 15 minutes that day to make sure she hadn't changed her mind and decided to leave.

What my GM always has told me is you need to set the pace in your relationship. My GF learned quickly what was not acceptable to my GM, and he never flirted with another woman (in front of her, at least) again.

And this was not an easy decision for her. GF came from a wealthy family, GM was an orphan from the state of Georgia who moved to NYC and worked as a secretary. But even though she had no family to fall back on, and it would mean moving out of a big house in Westchester to a small apartment, she knew her worth, and would not expect less.

When you show someone that you value yourself and will not put up with trash, you force them to show their true colors. My GF was a very powerful man, but he was never too proud to show my GM he loved her. They didnt have a perfect relationship, as "no man is perfect," as my GM says. But some behaviors are simply unacceptable.
And in my opinion, callously disregarding the sadness of your pregnant wife, and screaming at her, is totally unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not at ALL. I texted him telling him the reasons I left and then I called him. He was asleep. I asked if he had anything to say to me and he said "I'm sorry I blew up at you." I said I cannot stand being treated this way and that I was going to go to the marriott and fly out tomorrow. In retrospect I should not have mentioned flying out bc if I don't go it shows I just have empty responses to his bad actions. If for nothing else, for this reason staying at marriott tonight seems like a must-do.

Def stay at the hotel tonight. I would advise against flying out but if you stay I see the precedent it will set re: empty threats. This is a tough situation and I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.

Are you tired or is the adrenaline of the whole situation forcing you to stay up?

I'm tired! I'm so grateful to you all for giving me strength. I'm so tired and unprepared that without DCUM I might have just gone back home. It's amazing how the hurt fades after a few hours and the mind wants to forgive and forget. But I know I need to stand up for myself on this one.

It's no problem. We are here for you. I can tell that there are several posters outside of myself writing to you. I'm up nursing right now. I can stay up with you if you need someone to talk to.

Yes. We are here to chat with if you need support.

[Anonymous]

Made it! Told the front desk lady there was a gas leak at my house. She didn't care, it was all good. She even gave me a free breakfast voucher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me tell you a story:

Shortly after my grandfather had married my grandmother, and moved them to a lovely house out in the suburbs (westchester county), he decided to spend one night flirting with on of my GM's friends. At one point the friend perched herself on my GF's lap and giggled.

My GM shot dagger glares at both, and they chortled about it, my GF calling her a spoil sport.

Well, they went home from the party.

The next morning, GM had ever bag of her's packed and waiting in the kitchen. When my GF came down to make breakfast, he saw my GM waiting. GM calmly informed him that a cab was on the way, that she had already contacted her old apartment building in Manhattan and she would be moving back in. And she had contacted her former boss, and would be resuming her job as a secretary.

My GM says she will never forget the look on GF's face. He literally got down on his knees in the kitchen and begged her to stay. After some back and forth, she relented. But my GF called every 15 minutes that day to make sure she hadn't changed her mind and decided to leave.

What my GM always has told me is you need to set the pace in your relationship. My GF learned quickly what was not acceptable to my GM, and he never flirted with another woman (in front of her, at least) again.

And this was not an easy decision for her. GF came from a wealthy family, GM was an orphan from the state of Georgia who moved to NYC and worked as a secretary. But even though she had no family to fall back on, and it would mean moving out of a big house in Westchester to a small apartment, she knew her worth, and would not expect less.

When you show someone that you value yourself and will not put up with trash, you force them to show their true colors. My GF was a very powerful man, but he was never too proud to show my GM he loved her. They didnt have a perfect relationship, as "no man is perfect," as my GM says. But some behaviors are simply unacceptable.
And in my opinion, callously disregarding the sadness of your pregnant wife, and screaming at her, is totally unacceptable.

Story gives me chills and inspiration. Thank you pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Made it! Told the front desk lady there was a gas leak at my house. She didn't care, it was all good. She even gave me a free breakfast voucher.

Yes! That's what I'm talking about op! Now go and get yourself a good night's rest and try not to think about everything until tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Made it! Told the front desk lady there was a gas leak at my house. She didn't care, it was all good. She even gave me a free breakfast voucher.

So glad to hear it OP! Now tomorrow morning, please reread this thread and what people have been saying to you. Rent a movie, and have a leisurely breakfast. Think about what you deserve in your life and your relationship.

You do deserve happiness. I can tell that you are very kind and loving person just from how thoughtfully youve responded to everyone on this thread. Please remember that, and remember how you felt last night, huddled in your car in late December, and think about whether you want to feel that way for the rest of your life.

God bless you, thoughts and prayers with you.

[Anonymous]

(((hugs))) to you, OP. I hope things are brighter tomorrow. I'm sorry you're going through this.