Am i wrong for being angry DH wants to change careers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: he would be absolutely miserable with a full retirement and says that he doesn't want to be one of those people who retire and then worry for years about running out of money. My concern is how viable a late 50's career change is. He tells me that it is taking his existing skills to a new direction, but he spent years building an education and experience for this? it worries me because he earns 90% of the household income. Our child at home worships him and I don't want to see the last 1 1/2 years at home ruined by a father who is too busy.

Oh come the fuck on OP!! How many kids that age want to be up under their parent all the time? Your husband is not just up and quitting his job, he's trying to set himself up for a successful post- retirement career. Doesn't matter if YOU think a late 50's career change is viable or not- he gets to try. I can't believe you are going to try to piss all over this man's retirement. You must've been a nightmare all of these years. I know one change your husband should definitely make in his retirement. And it's not career related...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

I think it's probably in response to the general immaturity associated with a middle aged man with kids wanting to jump ship and go back to school.

Ah, there you are. Interesting that continuing to work full-time while working nights fits into your definition of immaturity, but I guess logic isn't part of your argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

I think it's probably in response to the general immaturity associated with a middle aged man with kids wanting to jump ship and go back to school.

Ah, there you are. Interesting that continuing to work full-time while working nights fits into your definition of immaturity, but I guess logic isn't part of your argument.

The immaturity is not realizing that this is MUCH easier said than done. Reality is not so simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

I think it's probably in response to the general immaturity associated with a middle aged man with kids wanting to jump ship and go back to school.

Ah, there you are. Interesting that continuing to work full-time while working nights fits into your definition of immaturity, but I guess logic isn't part of your argument.

The immaturity is not realizing that this is MUCH easier said than done. Reality is not so simple.

He gets to figure that out for himself. And if it's too much, no harm no foul, since he'll still be working his full time job! Seriously, there is no problem here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

I think it's probably in response to the general immaturity associated with a middle aged man with kids wanting to jump ship and go back to school.

Ah, there you are. Interesting that continuing to work full-time while working nights fits into your definition of immaturity, but I guess logic isn't part of your argument.

The immaturity is not realizing that this is MUCH easier said than done. Reality is not so simple.

You're right. He should just settle with the job he has just like the shrew he married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

I think it's probably in response to the general immaturity associated with a middle aged man with kids wanting to jump ship and go back to school.

Ah, there you are. Interesting that continuing to work full-time while working nights fits into your definition of immaturity, but I guess logic isn't part of your argument.

The immaturity is not realizing that this is MUCH easier said than done. Reality is not so simple.

You're right. He should just settle with the job he has just like the shrew he married.

WINNER!!

[Anonymous]

My H went to graduate school when we had toddlers. I am not sure why this is so complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

I think it's probably in response to the general immaturity associated with a middle aged man with kids wanting to jump ship and go back to school.

Ah, there you are. Interesting that continuing to work full-time while working nights fits into your definition of immaturity, but I guess logic isn't part of your argument.

The immaturity is not realizing that this is MUCH easier said than done. Reality is not so simple.

You're right. He should just settle with the job he has just like the shrew he married.

So then go for it! Take what you want and screw responsibilities to your family. It's your life, and only your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

His "kid" is a teen. The teen will not give a shit about their dad going back to school.

The kids will not give a shit because they're a teen, and most teens don't give a shit about their parents. But the dad seems more interested in putting himself first, than the kids. When that's the case, mom's gotta advocate for the kid, because teens gonna teen like they do.

When your kids are adults and out of school? That's the time to go pursue your selfish changes. Not when your kids are still kids - teens or not.

You're right. In fact, I think OP and her husband should both quit their jobs and dedicate themselves to homeschooling their child. These precious years together won't last long and they shouldn't waste them by selfishly having their own lives!

Imagine? The poor kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

Are you my Peter Pan BIL who suddenly decided to change his profession, with many new added years of schooling, and move his family (with toddler) about a thousand miles away just so you could pursue your snowflake change?

You may want to take a good hard look at yourself, bro.

x2

x3 See also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puer_aeternus or "eternal boy"

[Anonymous]

Good lord, it sounds like all the poor man wants to do is take a few night classes. Why all the venom?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why this is a problem. Why can't he continue his current job while going to school at night so he doesn't have to work at a job that he hates for the rest of his working life? He will be around, it's not like he's moving to another state. I highly doubt this would destroy his relationship with his kid.

I may be biased, though, because I had to stay working at a miserable job in a big law firm while my husband went back to school full time to find something he enjoyed. I did not like my job AT ALL and cannot imagine being forced to stay in it forever. Life is too short. I think OP's husband deserves to at least try for a less crappy job. For all we know, he will hate going back to school and quit after a semester, or decide he really loves accounting after all, but I don't understand why he has to sacrifice everything when his plan seems reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

His "kid" is a teen. The teen will not give a shit about their dad going back to school.

The kids will not give a shit because they're a teen, and most teens don't give a shit about their parents. But the dad seems more interested in putting himself first, than the kids. When that's the case, mom's gotta advocate for the kid, because teens gonna teen like they do.

When your kids are adults and out of school? That's the time to go pursue your selfish changes. Not when your kids are still kids - teens or not.

You're right. In fact, I think OP and her husband should both quit their jobs and dedicate themselves to homeschooling their child. These precious years together won't last long and they shouldn't waste them by selfishly having their own lives!

LOL! MTE! Sounds like a Grade A plan... after all NO ONE should ever have to work at jobs they dont love, right? They can move into the trailer park, the kid can work in a factory instead of going to college, and it will all be grand!!! /s

[Anonymous]

OP, I sense your are fearful about your family's financial stability if DH does this. I think you need to verbalize your objections and fears to DHA then have a sit down with your teen to get their input. As parents, you are modeling values, work ethic and importance of education for your child. I would support and encourage DH to 'make it happen'. Men want to feel appreciated and respected by their wives. Be sure to thank your husband for how hard he works for your family and how much you appreciate the life he has provided. If your are contributing 10% or so, then consider getting a different job that pays more to increase your contribution. Your kid(s) won't remember the exact minutes you do or don't spend with them, just the quality of time spent. Remove your fear from the situation and support your DH. He will appreciate you for this and you will feel good after DH reaches his goals and is more fulfilled. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I'm amazed at the number of SAH shrews who are trying to shoot down this guy for having a responsible plan to both maintain his income in the present, increase it in the future and also be happy with his life/career choices. He made his sacrifices over the years to allow the OP to SAH and she's spent all of his money happily for years, and now wants to suck up his happiness too?

I've known quite a number of folks who have done what OP's husband is proposing. You get a night degree in either a related field or an additional degree in an advanced area of your field and then transition to a tangential position. For example, I've known a lot of people who have gotten various IT degrees and then moved into IT around their field making more money. Like several nurses when I worked at a major hospital who got IT degrees and then went into programming or project management in the IT department supporting the hospital where their nursing background enabled them to design applications and program applications that matched the needs of the hospital staff. Or accountants who got an MBA and transitioned into business management. One guy in one of the companies I used to work for was an accountant, got an MBA and transitioned first into payroll management and ultimately into a medium size company CFO. And on and on. It's still possible in his 50's. If he works hard, he can get an appropriate degree in 2-4 years. Even if he only moves into a low-level management position, he can probably still increase his earning potential especially if he's ambitious and talented enough to move to a mid-level management position in another 5 years or so. There have been thousands of people who have done something similar to this and it's quite feasible.

As for missing out on his kid's last 1.5 years of HS, frankly, how much interaction do you all have on a nightly basis. I've rarely heard of someone taking night school classes for more than 3 nights a week. Do you really interact daily with your teenager that 1-3 nights a week for school is going to significant alter your relationship with your teen?