Am i wrong for being angry DH wants to change careers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is financially supporting himself in this effort, and is still able to continue to contribute to the financial support of the family, then you should be emotionally supportive. I think it is great he is doing this. If he is stuck in a rut and unhappy, then this makes sense. They say you are never too old to go to school. If he finds a career he really enjoys, then he will do really well and you could also reap of the benefits (both financially and emotionally).

You are lucky. My husband has never been involved with his kids - and I have always worked fulltime.

x2
For the life of me I can't figure out what the husband is doing so wrong here with this planned career change that doesn't mention any interruption in finances.

X3 I don't understand why you wouldn't be supportive, OP. He sounds like he has really thought this through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've known a couple couples where something like this happened. It wrecked their marriages.

Your DH needs to continue at the very least until all kids are over 18 and out of HS. He's an adult - he needs to suck it up and not burden anyone with his mid-life crises choices.

This.

Haha. Seriously? You know couples whose marriages were destroyed by a husband switching from his incredibly dull and boring job to a slightly less dull and boring job? What crappy marriages those must have been.

OP, you sound wretched. Give your poor husband his balls back before he runs off with his secretary. He's an accountant for god's sake. Give him something.

No, sorry. You got kids? Suck it up. It's not just about you anymore, you can't go to the guidance counselor and change your major again when it'll impact others. Time to be a grownup, bro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

Are you my Peter Pan BIL who suddenly decided to change his profession, with many new added years of schooling, and move his family (with toddler) about a thousand miles away just so you could pursue your snowflake change?

You may want to take a good hard look at yourself, bro.

No. What is a "snowflake change"?

You sound like anything but a supportive sister or friend, so lay off the "bro" nonsense and take a hard look at yourself (I'd bet you have many mirrors to choose from).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

His "kid" is a teen. The teen will not give a shit about their dad going back to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

I do know the meaning of the word, and you are have perfectly personified it with your post. He deserves not only to change his career, but to also get away from his nasty wife and find a way to be truly happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is financially supporting himself in this effort, and is still able to continue to contribute to the financial support of the family, then you should be emotionally supportive. I think it is great he is doing this. If he is stuck in a rut and unhappy, then this makes sense. They say you are never too old to go to school. If he finds a career he really enjoys, then he will do really well and you could also reap of the benefits (both financially and emotionally).

You are lucky. My husband has never been involved with his kids - and I have always worked fulltime.

x2
For the life of me I can't figure out what the husband is doing so wrong here with this planned career change that doesn't mention any interruption in finances.

X3 I don't understand why you wouldn't be supportive, OP. He sounds like he has really thought this through.

X4. I think it's actually a good life lesson for the HS child to see that the father is a real person who wants to acquire new skills, and not just some guy who drags himself to an office to generate income for the mom to spend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

His "kid" is a teen. The teen will not give a shit about their dad going back to school.

The kids will not give a shit because they're a teen, and most teens don't give a shit about their parents. But the dad seems more interested in putting himself first, than the kids. When that's the case, mom's gotta advocate for the kid, because teens gonna teen like they do.

When your kids are adults and out of school? That's the time to go pursue your selfish changes. Not when your kids are still kids - teens or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: he would be absolutely miserable with a full retirement and says that he doesn't want to be one of those people who retire and then worry for years about running out of money. My concern is how viable a late 50's career change is. He tells me that it is taking his existing skills to a new direction, but he spent years building an education and experience for this? it worries me because he earns 90% of the household income. Our child at home worships him and I don't want to see the last 1 1/2 years at home ruined by a father who is too busy.

OP, you sound hysterical. You only earn 10% of the HHI and you were a SAHM for years. Nothing wrong with that, except you seem obsessed with keeping your husband as a moneymaking machine who isn't allowed to pursue his own interests, even when he has a responsible plan for doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

I do know the meaning of the word, and you are have perfectly personified it with your post. He deserves not only to change his career, but to also get away from his nasty wife and find a way to be truly happy.

Totes gotta go for that red convertible too. DH deserves it. Fuck the rest of his family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

His "kid" is a teen. The teen will not give a shit about their dad going back to school.

The kids will not give a shit because they're a teen, and most teens don't give a shit about their parents. But the dad seems more interested in putting himself first, than the kids. When that's the case, mom's gotta advocate for the kid, because teens gonna teen like they do.

When your kids are adults and out of school? That's the time to go pursue your selfish changes. Not when your kids are still kids - teens or not.

You're right. In fact, I think OP and her husband should both quit their jobs and dedicate themselves to homeschooling their child. These precious years together won't last long and they shouldn't waste them by selfishly having their own lives!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've known a couple couples where something like this happened. It wrecked their marriages.

Your DH needs to continue at the very least until all kids are over 18 and out of HS. He's an adult - he needs to suck it up and not burden anyone with his mid-life crises choices.

This.

Haha. Seriously? You know couples whose marriages were destroyed by a husband switching from his incredibly dull and boring job to a slightly less dull and boring job? What crappy marriages those must have been.

OP, you sound wretched. Give your poor husband his balls back before he runs off with his secretary. He's an accountant for god's sake. Give him something.

No, sorry. You got kids? Suck it up. It's not just about you anymore, you can't go to the guidance counselor and change your major again when it'll impact others. Time to be a grownup, bro.

They have kids in HIGH SCHOOL, not toddlers. They don't need the same amount of time or attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

His "kid" is a teen. The teen will not give a shit about their dad going back to school.

The kids will not give a shit because they're a teen, and most teens don't give a shit about their parents. But the dad seems more interested in putting himself first, than the kids. When that's the case, mom's gotta advocate for the kid, because teens gonna teen like they do.

When your kids are adults and out of school? That's the time to go pursue your selfish changes. Not when your kids are still kids - teens or not.

He's put his wife and his kids first for a very long time. He made a lot of sacrifices for them. They can make some sacrifices for him, too. It's a two way street.

[Anonymous]

Get on board with the school because he will do it whether you want it or not. Then deal with the rest.

[Anonymous]

20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:40
20:43
20:47
20:52
20:53


Not sure if these posts are all by the same person or if there's possibly more than one person with an axe-grinding, obnoxious writing style. Bro, for serious, totes, teens gonna teen. Have you been watching old teen shows on ABC family and now you're trying out "hip" speak?

I think it's probably in response to the general immaturity associated with a middle aged man with kids wanting to jump ship and go back to school.