Am i wrong for being angry DH wants to change careers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've known a couple couples where something like this happened. It wrecked their marriages.

Your DH needs to continue at the very least until all kids are over 18 and out of HS. He's an adult - he needs to suck it up and not burden anyone with his mid-life crises choices.

This.

[Anonymous]

How much has he been making? In some fields you can retire in your mid-50s and have a decent retirement if you've been well paid and saving.

You decided to SAH so I don't think you have much say if he decides to do something different now that is more rewarding. Get a job yourself if you're worried about a potential loss of income.

[Anonymous]

My Mom went back to school and got a degree and a job when I was in high school. That's when lots of SAHM's go back to work. Why can't the Dads do it too? Your HSer should certainly be able to function for him/herself!!!

[Anonymous]

If he is financially supporting himself in this effort, and is still able to continue to contribute to the financial support of the family, then you should be emotionally supportive. I think it is great he is doing this. If he is stuck in a rut and unhappy, then this makes sense. They say you are never too old to go to school. If he finds a career he really enjoys, then he will do really well and you could also reap of the benefits (both financially and emotionally).

You are lucky. My husband has never been involved with his kids - and I have always worked fulltime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is financially supporting himself in this effort, and is still able to continue to contribute to the financial support of the family, then you should be emotionally supportive. I think it is great he is doing this. If he is stuck in a rut and unhappy, then this makes sense. They say you are never too old to go to school. If he finds a career he really enjoys, then he will do really well and you could also reap of the benefits (both financially and emotionally).

You are lucky. My husband has never been involved with his kids - and I have always worked fulltime.

x2
For the life of me I can't figure out what the husband is doing so wrong here with this planned career change that doesn't mention any interruption in finances.

[Anonymous]

There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

[Anonymous]

I lean to the 'you have to be supportive' side, unless you really think if he guts it out for another 5-6 years you'll have enough money to retire the way you want to, in which case he should suck it up. But really, people work into their 70s these days, esp if they like what they do, and also esp. if they cant afford to retire well - meaning travel or golf or go to the theater on weeknights or whatever you'd want to do when retired that costs $$. he actually has a long horizon and being miserable at work is no way to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

Are you my Peter Pan BIL who suddenly decided to change his profession, with many new added years of schooling, and move his family (with toddler) about a thousand miles away just so you could pursue your snowflake change?

You may want to take a good hard look at yourself, bro.

[Anonymous]

This is his one life. Why should he continue to do something he hates to 10-15 years if he doesn't have to and he goes about it reasonably?

I'm hoping this is a troll post, because you sound controlling, OP. Your husband plans to continue working in his well-paying job and attend school at night. What's the problem? It's not like he's quitting his job. And your high-school aged kid has their own life. Your husband's life need not revolve around your teen's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

Are you my Peter Pan BIL who suddenly decided to change his profession, with many new added years of schooling, and move his family (with toddler) about a thousand miles away just so you could pursue your snowflake change?

You may want to take a good hard look at yourself, bro.

x2

[Anonymous]

OP: he would be absolutely miserable with a full retirement and says that he doesn't want to be one of those people who retire and then worry for years about running out of money. My concern is how viable a late 50's career change is. He tells me that it is taking his existing skills to a new direction, but he spent years building an education and experience for this? it worries me because he earns 90% of the household income. Our child at home worships him and I don't want to see the last 1 1/2 years at home ruined by a father who is too busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is an infinite supply of spoiled women on DCUM who lose their shit whenever there is any possible change in their incredibly pampered lives.

+1000. It's unbelievable that many women here are throwing the guy under the bus whereas if the roles were reversed, they'd be supporting the DW to peruse changing careers and being happy.

OP, you are a selfish brat.

I do not think you know what this word means. You think the unselfish person in this scenario is the middle aged dude who wants to change his job, because he "wants" to, and disregards the disruptions to his family--including kids? What? Are you for serious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've known a couple couples where something like this happened. It wrecked their marriages.

Your DH needs to continue at the very least until all kids are over 18 and out of HS. He's an adult - he needs to suck it up and not burden anyone with his mid-life crises choices.

This.

Haha. Seriously? You know couples whose marriages were destroyed by a husband switching from his incredibly dull and boring job to a slightly less dull and boring job? What crappy marriages those must have been.

OP, you sound wretched. Give your poor husband his balls back before he runs off with his secretary. He's an accountant for god's sake. Give him something.

[Anonymous]

You framed your concerns around the time away from family needed for class and studying. While I get that, your husband hates his job so I think giving up some time together for him to not hate his life is what you got to do. I'm sure a happier husband would make whatever little time you do get together more enjoyable.

You didn't mention, but I would worry, does this mean that the salary he's currently using to pay for your kid's college would now go to pay the fees for his new degree? If there's enough to cover it all, then great. If not, then I think the kids' first degree trumps a second degree for dad.