Am i wrong for being angry DH wants to change careers?

[Anonymous]

He is in his mid 50's, good health, and wants to work another 10-15 years. In the accounting field and although it has been reasonably well paying, says he hates it and wants to do something else. His big issue is accounting doesn't bring in revenue so they work a lot of hours for lower pay than sales and operations. What he wants is to continue working full time, go to school at night, and in two years move to a profession that is related but not closing the books, auditing, etc.

My thinking is that with one child in HS (other is out of the house), that should be his priority. He basically has blown up at this, called me controlling, and said that with all the sacrifices he has made (I was a SAHM for a few years), he has earned the right to try something else but I feel that at his age starting something new is ridiculous. So what do I do? He is not one to do things at half speed but what about my needs and our kid when he is going to need study time?

[Anonymous]

He too old,, to late for him he made his bed time to sleep in it

[Anonymous]

You support him. Period. He has needs to, and if he's not a slacker, if he's unhappy and if he's still working you can't ask for much more. No one should be unhappy during the majority of their life, which is what work is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is in his mid 50's, good health, and wants to work another 10-15 years. In the accounting field and although it has been reasonably well paying, says he hates it and wants to do something else. His big issue is accounting doesn't bring in revenue so they work a lot of hours for lower pay than sales and operations. What he wants is to continue working full time, go to school at night, and in two years move to a profession that is related but not closing the books, auditing, etc.

My thinking is that with one child in HS (other is out of the house), that should be his priority. He basically has blown up at this, called me controlling, and said that with all the sacrifices he has made (I was a SAHM for a few years), he has earned the right to try something else but I feel that at his age starting something new is ridiculous. So what do I do? He is not one to do things at half speed but what about my needs and our kid when he is going to need study time?

Your kid is in HS. What are his/her needs that cannot be addressed by you in the evenings when your DH is at school?

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous, he is way too old. Sorry, maybe he is having a midlife crisis, but tough nuts. He needs to accept reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You support him. Period. He has needs to, and if he's not a slacker, if he's unhappy and if he's still working you can't ask for much more. No one should be unhappy during the majority of their life, which is what work is.

and

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is in HS. What are his/her needs that cannot be addressed by you in the evenings when your DH is at school?

[Anonymous]

50s good health can lead to 60s bad health

[Anonymous]

He may work for another 20-25 years. That is a long time. He should have your support to do work that he enjoys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is in his mid 50's, good health, and wants to work another 10-15 years. In the accounting field and although it has been reasonably well paying, says he hates it and wants to do something else. His big issue is accounting doesn't bring in revenue so they work a lot of hours for lower pay than sales and operations. What he wants is to continue working full time, go to school at night, and in two years move to a profession that is related but not closing the books, auditing, etc.

My thinking is that with one child in HS (other is out of the house), that should be his priority. He basically has blown up at this, called me controlling, and said that with all the sacrifices he has made (I was a SAHM for a few years), he has earned the right to try something else but I feel that at his age starting something new is ridiculous. So what do I do? He is not one to do things at half speed but what about my needs and our kid when he is going to need study time?

Your kid is in HS. What are his/her needs that cannot be addressed by you in the evenings when your DH is at school?

+100
oh my goodness OP, I'm sure you don't mean to but you sound awful. He's not trying to uproot the family or start growing weed for a living or some such. He's not dead yet- why should he act it? How in the world can a high schooler be his priority to the point where he can't make a career change?!

[Anonymous]

You have no choice but to support his choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous, he is way too old. Sorry, maybe he is having a midlife crisis, but tough nuts. He needs to accept reality.

x3

[Anonymous]

If he feels you are holding him back too much he will find a new wife and a new career.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand what you think he needs to do for your child in high school that pursing his new career would prevent. Most high school kids spend most of their time studying, doing extracurriculars, with friends, or at a part time job.

[Anonymous]

interesting thread. 50% say the DH should do this and 50% say he is a too old geyser.

[Anonymous]

I've known a couple couples where something like this happened. It wrecked their marriages.

Your DH needs to continue at the very least until all kids are over 18 and out of HS. He's an adult - he needs to suck it up and not burden anyone with his mid-life crises choices.