WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child

[Anonymous]

I worked with a Misti in a professional job. She always joked about how she had a porn star/stripper name.

Another possibility: Bambi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's 4! Don't change her name

AGREE!!!

[Anonymous]

I would ask her what she wants and offer to keep her name and only change the last name or use that name as a middle and she can help pick out her first name. If you wanted to have a choice in a name, you should have adopted a newborn.

[Anonymous]

I know a couple of kids (mine included) who changed the name they go by when they started kindergarten. We have called my child by a nickname since before she was born (think: Jenny for Jennifer, although that's not it) and when she started kindergarten she told the teacher her name was "Jennifer" and all her friends call her "Jennifer" even though the family and friends she had prior to K call her "Jenny." She has a friend who used to go by his initials ("DJ") and a few months before kindergarten announced that he wanted to be "David" and even his parents and siblings call him "David" now. A classmate's older brother became "Samuel" instead of "Sam" when he started K. So she _might_ want to change/alter if asked. I wouldn't force it, but it seems to be, if not common, at least not atypical for kids to want a big kid name for big kid school.

[Anonymous]

Accept the child, name and all.

[Anonymous]

OP, this thread is really upsetting me and I don't think it's hormones. How can you seriously consider taking away a part of this child's identity because it embarrasses you? To be quite blunt your post embarrassed you, not this little girl's name whatever it is. I was adopted and have spent a lot of time researching ethical adoption, I suggest you look into it because you seem to have no clue as to the type of damage you could cause.

[Anonymous]

i also find this post disturbing. i assume if the child is in foster care she's already had to deal with a lot of upheaval and loss in her life. her name is one thing she's always had and that has stayed the same. it is also (i assume) a link to her original family. i think it would be really strange and potentially damaging to change it just because you don't like it.

[Anonymous]

Unless the child's name is Stripper, and even then, I think you should keep the name, because a few years down the road and that name might have totally lost its connotations!

Also think of all the celebrities naming their children.

Upon formal adoption, all you can do is juxtapose a very traditional name next to her original one, and when she is old enough, she will tell you which one she prefers to be known by.

[Anonymous]

Stripper names change no need to chase away a current one that won't be one in 10 years

[Anonymous]

I grew up in white trash. OP, please, for your new daughter's sake, do everything in your power to wipe out every trace of this that you can. Nothing good will come of her having a trashy name that links her to a past she didn't choose. Help her move away from that as quickly as you possibly can.

[Anonymous]

As someone who was almost named a very unusual (and my opinion horrible) name, I don't agree with all the other posters. I think if a name is truly horrible and there are some truly horrible names out there, there is a case to be made that it may be beneficial for the child to live out life with a new name.

Changing one's name is not unusual. Babies adopted from other countries often get a new American name. Adults from other countries often pick their own new first name because they realize that their original name will make life harder in ways they don't want to deal with. Many last names have been Westernized. People often change their names after marrying and divorcing. Actors and musicians often adopt new, catchy stage names. Some people just plain don't like their names and will change it legally to something they do like. Original names are not sacrosanct. Not everyone is comfortable with the name they've been given, why do you think there are so many nicknames? . Though you personally may not have made the same choice to change your name under those conditions, it doesn't mean they aren't valid choices.

Not that this is necessarily the case, but if she had an abusive background, I wouldn't assume that this name is something that this little girl holds dear. Iit may be a name she associates with being yelled at or punished. Finding a new name might be helpful in that case.

[Anonymous]

As someone who was almost named a very unusual (and my opinion horrible) name, I don't agree with all the other posters. I think if a name is truly horrible and there are some truly horrible names out there, there is a case to be made that it may be beneficial for the child to live out life with a new name.

Changing one's name is not unusual. Babies adopted from other countries often get a new American name. Adults from other countries often pick their own new first name because they realize that their original name will make life harder in ways they don't want to deal with. Many last names have been Westernized. People often change their names after marrying and divorcing. Actors and musicians often adopt new, catchy stage names. Some people just plain don't like their names and will change it legally to something they do like. Original names are not sacrosanct. Not everyone is comfortable with the name they've been given, why do you think there are so many nicknames? . Though you personally may not have made the same choice to change your name under those conditions, it doesn't mean they aren't valid choices.

Not that this is necessarily the case, but if she had an abusive background, I wouldn't assume that this name is something that this little girl holds dear. Iit may be a name she associates with being yelled at or punished. Finding a new name might be helpful in that case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP. I would call her by both her first and middle names for while and then gradually drop the first name. When you enroll her in school, tell the teacher that she goes by "Larla".

Yes! Change her name to Larla!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the PP. I would call her by both her first and middle names for while and then gradually drop the first name. When you enroll her in school, tell the teacher that she goes by "Larla".

Yes! Change her name to Larla!

DH totally just asked me what I was giggling about. Larla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was almost named a very unusual (and my opinion horrible) name, I don't agree with all the other posters. I think if a name is truly horrible and there are some truly horrible names out there, there is a case to be made that it may be beneficial for the child to live out life with a new name.

Changing one's name is not unusual. Babies adopted from other countries often get a new American name. Adults from other countries often pick their own new first name because they realize that their original name will make life harder in ways they don't want to deal with. Many last names have been Westernized. People often change their names after marrying and divorcing. Actors and musicians often adopt new, catchy stage names. Some people just plain don't like their names and will change it legally to something they do like. Original names are not sacrosanct. Not everyone is comfortable with the name they've been given, why do you think there are so many nicknames? . Though you personally may not have made the same choice to change your name under those conditions, it doesn't mean they aren't valid choices.

Not that this is necessarily the case, but if she had an abusive background, I wouldn't assume that this name is something that this little girl holds dear. Iit may be a name she associates with being yelled at or punished. Finding a new name might be helpful in that case.

You aren't talking about a person making the decision to change their name, you are talking about a snotty DCUM poster who is essentially saying she is ashamed and embarrassed to be associated with a white trash name so she wants to take it away from a 4 year old child. The only one with a problem here is OP. Oh, and if you would bother to educate yourself on adoption, it is extremely frowned upon to change names and westernize them and the trend in doing that swung in the other direction years ago.