Guys, how do you feel when she says no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First I didn't notice there was no sex as we were both busy with the kids. Then I pleaded with dw to get help, or an open marriage. Now I am just at a loss about what to do next.

How long did it take you to notice?

Two or three years. The second stage took seven or more years.

My conclusion is that you're both very low sex drive. Even with two kids under three, we made it a point to have sex once a week whether we felt like it or not.

NO. I have a high sex drive.

So if you're high drive, why did it take you two or three years to notice your sex life was missing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First I didn't notice there was no sex as we were both busy with the kids. Then I pleaded with dw to get help, or an open marriage. Now I am just at a loss about what to do next.

How long did it take you to notice?

Two or three years. The second stage took seven or more years.

My conclusion is that you're both very low sex drive. Even with two kids under three, we made it a point to have sex once a week whether we felt like it or not.

NO. I have a high sex drive.

So if you're high drive, why did it take you two or three years to notice your sex life was missing?

I satisfied myself.

[Anonymous]

Um, that's not an answer. You didn't notice your wife wasn't interested in sex? Did you discuss it?

[Anonymous]

I have a guy friend who gets turned down by his wife all the time. Now he takes his anger out on me and threatens me. I try and only have sex with him once every few month but the anger he has for her he takes out on me. I wish he would leave me alone and just be with his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a guy friend who gets turned down by his wife all the time. Now he takes his anger out on me and threatens me. I try and only have sex with him once every few month but the anger he has for her he takes out on me. I wish he would leave me alone and just be with his wife.

Wow. If this is for real it's messed up in so many ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these replies... This is why I never want to be married again. It's so nice to only see my guy once a week. To think about him.... look forward to it.... save up my energy and then totally attack him. Only have sex when you WANT to, not because you are obligated, and not because you have to worry about feelings of rejection or the destruction of your relationship if you aren't having sex whenever he wants to.

I knew a woman who told me her husband expected sex every-other night. I thought, how horrible. It's like you're a receptacle for a bodily function, like a toilet, instead of passionate love making. I'd go nuts if I had someone pawing at me all the time like that.

Most men and women who want romance should not live together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You should be married to my DH. Once a week is perfect for him. I prefer to have sex 3 or 4 times of week. Moral of the story: be brutally honest about how much sex you prefer before you get married. It's a bad scene otherwise.

I agree. There is nothing wrong with low drive or high drive....it is just very important that you are matched equally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these replies... This is why I never want to be married again. It's so nice to only see my guy once a week. To think about him.... look forward to it.... save up my energy and then totally attack him. Only have sex when you WANT to, not because you are obligated, and not because you have to worry about feelings of rejection or the destruction of your relationship if you aren't having sex whenever he wants to.

I knew a woman who told me her husband expected sex every-other night. I thought, how horrible. It's like you're a receptacle for a bodily function, like a toilet, instead of passionate love making. I'd go nuts if I had someone pawing at me all the time like that.

Most men and women who want romance should not live together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You only want sex once a week? No wonder you didn't like being married.

Holy shit right? I've been with my DH 15 years and we still go at it 2-3xs a week with a little stand alone oral thown in there for good measure. Prior to having kids, we were fucking 2xs a day.

You are wise, DO NOT GET MARRIED AGAIN. You sound low drive.

I feel bad for many of the men posting on here in sexless marriages. I don't think they are the norm though. As I've entered into my late 30s, my drive has increased, so I'm not sure what is going on in these relationships.

Actually, I think about sex a lot, and take care of myself many times a week. Sometimes daily. But when sex becomes routine and expected, it's a turn off. And when you're partner is being an unhelpful jerk who doesn't contribute to the marriage in (whatever) ways, it's a turn off. Real life is a turn off. Hungrily jumping a guy who I've missed, and who has been missing me all week, is a turn on.

[Anonymous]

Psst...sex isn't the same every time you do it.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Unfortunately if you are doing it with the same person every other day for many years, it does become very rote. And not exciting at all IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these replies... This is why I never want to be married again. It's so nice to only see my guy once a week. To think about him.... look forward to it.... save up my energy and then totally attack him. Only have sex when you WANT to, not because you are obligated, and not because you have to worry about feelings of rejection or the destruction of your relationship if you aren't having sex whenever he wants to.

I knew a woman who told me her husband expected sex every-other night. I thought, how horrible. It's like you're a receptacle for a bodily function, like a toilet, instead of passionate love making. I'd go nuts if I had someone pawing at me all the time like that.

Most men and women who want romance should not live together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You only want sex once a week? No wonder you didn't like being married.

Holy shit right? I've been with my DH 15 years and we still go at it 2-3xs a week with a little stand alone oral thown in there for good measure. Prior to having kids, we were fucking 2xs a day.

You are wise, DO NOT GET MARRIED AGAIN. You sound low drive.

I feel bad for many of the men posting on here in sexless marriages. I don't think they are the norm though. As I've entered into my late 30s, my drive has increased, so I'm not sure what is going on in these relationships.

Actually, I think about sex a lot, and take care of myself many times a week. Sometimes daily. But when sex becomes routine and expected, it's a turn off. And when you're partner is being an unhelpful jerk who doesn't contribute to the marriage in (whatever) ways, it's a turn off. Real life is a turn off. Hungrily jumping a guy who I've missed, and who has been missing me all week, is a turn on.

My DH was out of town during the week for six months. He came home on weekends. It greatly improved my experience of sex with him. When he came home on the weekend, we had sex 2-3 times and it was fun. Now he's home all the time, and we have sex 1-2 times a week, and I don't enjoy it much. He is all over me, all the time. It's very needy and annoying.

When the kids are off to college, I am getting a divorce. And then maybe I'll sleep with DH on the weekends and maybe I won't, but I don't ever want to be in a situation where sex is expected again. 19 years of obligatory sex is enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a guy friend who gets turned down by his wife all the time. Now he takes his anger out on me and threatens me. I try and only have sex with him once every few month but the anger he has for her he takes out on me. I wish he would leave me alone and just be with his wife.

Wow. If this is for real it's messed up in so many ways.

Yes it's for real. He treats me awful when he is mad at her. I try to leave but he threatens me. It's a loosing battle. I try to get out but I'm scared of his power over me. I feel like an abused wife who is scared to leave and I'm just the girl on the side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a guy friend who gets turned down by his wife all the time. Now he takes his anger out on me and threatens me. I try and only have sex with him once every few month but the anger he has for her he takes out on me. I wish he would leave me alone and just be with his wife.

Wow. If this is for real it's messed up in so many ways.

Yes it's for real. He treats me awful when he is mad at her. I try to leave but he threatens me. It's a loosing battle. I try to get out but I'm scared of his power over me. I feel like an abused wife who is scared to leave and I'm just the girl on the side.

Does the rough, dangerous sex arouse you though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these replies... This is why I never want to be married again. It's so nice to only see my guy once a week. To think about him.... look forward to it.... save up my energy and then totally attack him. Only have sex when you WANT to, not because you are obligated, and not because you have to worry about feelings of rejection or the destruction of your relationship if you aren't having sex whenever he wants to.

I knew a woman who told me her husband expected sex every-other night. I thought, how horrible. It's like you're a receptacle for a bodily function, like a toilet, instead of passionate love making. I'd go nuts if I had someone pawing at me all the time like that.

Most men and women who want romance should not live together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You only want sex once a week? No wonder you didn't like being married.

Holy shit right? I've been with my DH 15 years and we still go at it 2-3xs a week with a little stand alone oral thown in there for good measure. Prior to having kids, we were fucking 2xs a day.

You are wise, DO NOT GET MARRIED AGAIN. You sound low drive.

I feel bad for many of the men posting on here in sexless marriages. I don't think they are the norm though. As I've entered into my late 30s, my drive has increased, so I'm not sure what is going on in these relationships.

Actually, I think about sex a lot, and take care of myself many times a week. Sometimes daily. But when sex becomes routine and expected, it's a turn off. And when you're partner is being an unhelpful jerk who doesn't contribute to the marriage in (whatever) ways, it's a turn off. Real life is a turn off. Hungrily jumping a guy who I've missed, and who has been missing me all week, is a turn on.

So you'd rather masturbate than have a full relationship with a real live man? Your x did a number on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a guy friend who gets turned down by his wife all the time. Now he takes his anger out on me and threatens me. I try and only have sex with him once every few month but the anger he has for her he takes out on me. I wish he would leave me alone and just be with his wife.

Wow. If this is for real it's messed up in so many ways.

Yes it's for real. He treats me awful when he is mad at her. I try to leave but he threatens me. It's a loosing battle. I try to get out but I'm scared of his power over me. I feel like an abused wife who is scared to leave and I'm just the girl on the side.

Does the rough, dangerous sex arouse you though?

No it doesn't. But I must get something out of it as I have been doing this for 7 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a guy friend who gets turned down by his wife all the time. Now he takes his anger out on me and threatens me. I try and only have sex with him once every few month but the anger he has for her he takes out on me. I wish he would leave me alone and just be with his wife.

Wow. If this is for real it's messed up in so many ways.

Yes it's for real. He treats me awful when he is mad at her. I try to leave but he threatens me. It's a loosing battle. I try to get out but I'm scared of his power over me. I feel like an abused wife who is scared to leave and I'm just the girl on the side.

You are the abused girlfriend. You need to seek help for domestic violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading all these replies... This is why I never want to be married again. It's so nice to only see my guy once a week. To think about him.... look forward to it.... save up my energy and then totally attack him. Only have sex when you WANT to, not because you are obligated, and not because you have to worry about feelings of rejection or the destruction of your relationship if you aren't having sex whenever he wants to.

I knew a woman who told me her husband expected sex every-other night. I thought, how horrible. It's like you're a receptacle for a bodily function, like a toilet, instead of passionate love making. I'd go nuts if I had someone pawing at me all the time like that.

Most men and women who want romance should not live together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You only want sex once a week? No wonder you didn't like being married.

Holy shit right? I've been with my DH 15 years and we still go at it 2-3xs a week with a little stand alone oral thown in there for good measure. Prior to having kids, we were fucking 2xs a day.

You are wise, DO NOT GET MARRIED AGAIN. You sound low drive.

I feel bad for many of the men posting on here in sexless marriages. I don't think they are the norm though. As I've entered into my late 30s, my drive has increased, so I'm not sure what is going on in these relationships.

Actually, I think about sex a lot, and take care of myself many times a week. Sometimes daily. But when sex becomes routine and expected, it's a turn off. And when you're partner is being an unhelpful jerk who doesn't contribute to the marriage in (whatever) ways, it's a turn off. Real life is a turn off. Hungrily jumping a guy who I've missed, and who has been missing me all week, is a turn on.

So you'd rather masturbate than have a full relationship with a real live man? Your x did a number on you.

Not PP, but I'd much rather masturbate than have sex with my husband. He's awfully needy and sex with him is all about his needs. Not reciprocal at all.