Guys, how do you feel when she says no?

[Anonymous]

Wife here who says no when I'm really, really not into it. At all. Don't "help" him, either. If the occasional "no" is a massive issue, there's more going on than lack of sex.

Continual and repeated "no's".. I get that those would be a problem, a big one. But occasionally? Sorry guys.. there's more to a relationship than sex. At least in our house there is. I think my dh has realized that he more he pouts and carries on about it, the less interested I am. Accept a "I'm sorry, but no.." with a bit of grace and you might just wake up happy in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife here who says no when I'm really, really not into it. At all. Don't "help" him, either. If the occasional "no" is a massive issue, there's more going on than lack of sex.

Continual and repeated "no's".. I get that those would be a problem, a big one. But occasionally? Sorry guys.. there's more to a relationship than sex. At least in our house there is. I think my dh has realized that he more he pouts and carries on about it, the less interested I am. Accept a "I'm sorry, but no.." with a bit of grace and you might just wake up happy in the morning.

Are you talking about your husband or your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife here who says no when I'm really, really not into it. At all. Don't "help" him, either. If the occasional "no" is a massive issue, there's more going on than lack of sex.

Continual and repeated "no's".. I get that those would be a problem, a big one. But occasionally? Sorry guys.. there's more to a relationship than sex. At least in our house there is. I think my dh has realized that he more he pouts and carries on about it, the less interested I am. Accept a "I'm sorry, but no.." with a bit of grace and you might just wake up happy in the morning.

Are you talking about your husband or your child?

I would imagine in some cases that could be debatable.

If even one "no" in say a week or two's time causes you that much grief you have issues of your own. IF your wife is saying no more than yes then there are other issues in your marriage possibly. I do not believe in a sexless marriage, I cannot even imagine a sexless marriage. Nor do I think it's never okay to say no. In a good marriage there has to be a common ground somewhere. If I find myself saying no more often than usual then I need to figure out why.

[Anonymous]

I accepted "no"s with grace for a long time. It's o.k., she's pregnant. That's rough. It's o.k., we just had a baby, her body is out of whack. It's o.k., chasing a toddler around all the time is tiring. Eight or nine years after the first pregnancy, when we got the youngest child into school full time, and our sex life was down to once every 3 - 6 weeks, her reasons were fading away.

Ditching her IUD and her making an effort to make our sex life a priority has actually made a ton of difference. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't been so understanding.

[Anonymous]

My woman never says no, nor I to her. Some of you guys have to up your game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I accepted "no"s with grace for a long time. It's o.k., she's pregnant. That's rough. It's o.k., we just had a baby, her body is out of whack. It's o.k., chasing a toddler around all the time is tiring. Eight or nine years after the first pregnancy, when we got the youngest child into school full time, and our sex life was down to once every 3 - 6 weeks, her reasons were fading away.

Ditching her IUD and her making an effort to make our sex life a priority has actually made a ton of difference. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't been so understanding.

Yes, too long. I'm the one who says "no" when I'm really really not interested. 3 - 6 weeks is way too long. I would be wondering what the hell is wrong with us. I agree totally that the relationship has to be a priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I accepted "no"s with grace for a long time. It's o.k., she's pregnant. That's rough. It's o.k., we just had a baby, her body is out of whack. It's o.k., chasing a toddler around all the time is tiring. Eight or nine years after the first pregnancy, when we got the youngest child into school full time, and our sex life was down to once every 3 - 6 weeks, her reasons were fading away.

Ditching her IUD and her making an effort to make our sex life a priority has actually made a ton of difference. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't been so understanding.

Yes, too long. I'm the one who says "no" when I'm really really not interested. 3 - 6 weeks is way too long. I would be wondering what the hell is wrong with us. I agree totally that the relationship has to be a priority.

You know, it was gradual. Initially we were at 2-3x/week. Then 1x/week, then 1x/10 days, then twice a month. At one point, I realized we'd gone 2 months without sex, and the alarm bells rang. I told her that it was a problem and we had to work on our sex life. She got sad, and talked about feeling bad about being an inadequate wife. Then when I pressed more aggressively for more frequent sex, she complained that she felt pressured and that made her feel like not having sex with me. But, once we figured out the IUD was probably messing with her hormones and got it out, it's not like we started having hot monkey sex. But, after that, I was able to keep sex on the radar without being obnoxious about it. We're back to once a week. And, if I try to have sex a second time in a week and she says "no" sometimes, it's not that big a deal -- because I know that we'll get back at it in a few days, as opposed to wondering if it's going to be weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read a similar post of rejection the other morning while laying in bed. I got up, brushed my teeth, undressed and crawled back into bed and started in with a blow job and finished on top. Made his day.

You don't by any chance freelance occassionally and do house calls?

LOL, no-sorry!

This is one of my many tricks. My DH will do anything I ask when I do stuff like this. It puts him in a hypnotic state for the rest of the day.

You're husband is a lucky man! You've already put me in a hypnotic state and we've never even met. No question about it, you're a keeper!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My woman never says no, nor I to her. Some of you guys have to up your game.

So out of curiosity, how often do you end up having sex? I'd love it at least every other day and my DH is a once a week guy. We end up doing it once every 5 or 6 days.