Any advice for seasoned moms? Clique moms at soccer (even after 2 years)

[Anonymous]

OP here- thank you for all the posts/suggestions/comments. It is extreme, DH last practice (who is laid back that never even saw this) said- what's up with that?? The women were hiding behind a tree like 3 trees away from the few parents watching practice. I am sorry- but this is rude. As for only seeing each other then- not in this case, they have dinners together etc. Ok- so they are good friends- but it is rude to zoom off on every practice/game and huddle physically away from the rest of the team. And it's not like we don't know each other- we either have kids in the same grade and school or other (religion).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Needless to say ... all Chevy Chase moms.

Can't afford to live there huh?

No, not really. I can afford a pretty nice house, etc. but apparently CC moms won't talk to you unless you can afford to live there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thank you for all the posts/suggestions/comments. It is extreme, DH last practice (who is laid back that never even saw this) said- what's up with that?? The women were hiding behind a tree like 3 trees away from the few parents watching practice. I am sorry- but this is rude. As for only seeing each other then- not in this case, they have dinners together etc. Ok- so they are good friends- but it is rude to zoom off on every practice/game and huddle physically away from the rest of the team. And it's not like we don't know each other- we either have kids in the same grade and school or other (religion).

This just sounds silly OP. If their behavior is as bad as you describe, I would be terrified to associate with them because everyone else is probably laughing at them. How on earth have they managed to become queen bees with this childishness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thank you for all the posts/suggestions/comments. It is extreme, DH last practice (who is laid back that never even saw this) said- what's up with that?? The women were hiding behind a tree like 3 trees away from the few parents watching practice. I am sorry- but this is rude. As for only seeing each other then- not in this case, they have dinners together etc. Ok- so they are good friends- but it is rude to zoom off on every practice/game and huddle physically away from the rest of the team. And it's not like we don't know each other- we either have kids in the same grade and school or other (religion).

This just sounds silly OP. If their behavior is as bad as you describe, I would be terrified to associate with them because everyone else is probably laughing at them. How on earth have they managed to become queen bees with this childishness?

Typical Queen Bee behavior with an emphasis on childishness. They exclude on purpose, huddle and then laugh and whisper loudly to draw attention to themselves.


I have always wondered why they can't do the Queen Bee routine more quietly...

[Anonymous]

They aren't worth your time. I would find other kind people with whom to talk. I would have absolutely no expectations of those in the clique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? I bring a book, plop down to read, and only stop reading if someone comes to talk with me or the thing is over.

The more you want to be noticed by them, the more they'll exclude you. If you don't care, they'll be intrigued.

This is bullshit. They're not giving you two thoughts. They won't notice if you bring a book and plop down to read -- you simply are not on their radar at all. They most certainly won't be "intrigued." Because in this scenario, the only one worrying about what others are doing is the person deliberately trying to get the attention of others by ignoring them. To these people, you simply don't really exist -- they're in their own world. So, the idea that they'll be "intrigued" by your aloofness is just strange.

[Anonymous]

Yes, in regards to yourself, just forget about it. In regards to your child, make sure he or she doesn't get the impression you feel bad or have an issue with "being excluded". if he or she asks, "some people just like talking in small groups, they probably have a lot of things they want to talk about together" (or whatever). "I'm happy just to focus on your playing" (or reading or whatever).

isn't this just high school all over again? Don't let these people get to you. You're a different person than you were in high school. You're a parent and you want to teach your child to stand up tall and don't let the turkeys get you down, no matter what. Keep this in mind and you'll find yourself more able to put up with the high school behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't they talk to each other?

Do you have to be given an engraved invitation be involved in every conversation?

Why does everything have to have something to do with you?

Do you go and greet every parent at each game, do you have deep conversations with them, invite them to your house for dinner, why do they have to do that?

Unless they are literally running away from you, there isn't anything for you to whine about. They enjoy each other's company and want to spend time with each other. They are not required to include you and it doesn't sound like they are actively excluding you. Doesn't mean they aren't nice people, just means you are needy.

Says the leader of the pack.

+ 1 . We know your type.

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't they talk to each other?

Do you have to be given an engraved invitation be involved in every conversation?

Why does everything have to have something to do with you?

Do you go and greet every parent at each game, do you have deep conversations with them, invite them to your house for dinner, why do they have to do that?

Unless they are literally running away from you, there isn't anything for you to whine about. They enjoy each other's company and want to spend time with each other. They are not required to include you and it doesn't sound like they are actively excluding you. Doesn't mean they aren't nice people, just means you are needy.

Says the leader of the pack.

And how!
+ 1 . We know your type.

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thank you for all the posts/suggestions/comments. It is extreme, DH last practice (who is laid back that never even saw this) said- what's up with that?? The women were hiding behind a tree like 3 trees away from the few parents watching practice. I am sorry- but this is rude. As for only seeing each other then- not in this case, they have dinners together etc. Ok- so they are good friends- but it is rude to zoom off on every practice/game and huddle physically away from the rest of the team. And it's not like we don't know each other- we either have kids in the same grade and school or other (religion).

This just sounds silly OP. If their behavior is as bad as you describe, I would be terrified to associate with them because everyone else is probably laughing at them. How on earth have they managed to become queen bees with this childishness?

Typical Queen Bee behavior with an emphasis on childishness. They exclude on purpose, huddle and then laugh and whisper loudly to draw attention to themselves.



I have always wondered why they can't do the Queen Bee routine more quietly...

I am leaning towards just saying hi (though again we all have a LOT of children classes/activities in common) since really- when the other cliques come- they dart off and hide away so no one else can approach them even casually. As for exclusion of kids- well- their kids are all close since they all hang out. My child is good friends with some of the cliques - the cliques kids go to different schools and my child has been with this one child for over two years and they are pretty good friends.

I'll let go - no choice- but I am amazed at this all- what goes around comes around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- thank you for all the posts/suggestions/comments. It is extreme, DH last practice (who is laid back that never even saw this) said- what's up with that?? The women were hiding behind a tree like 3 trees away from the few parents watching practice. I am sorry- but this is rude. As for only seeing each other then- not in this case, they have dinners together etc. Ok- so they are good friends- but it is rude to zoom off on every practice/game and huddle physically away from the rest of the team. And it's not like we don't know each other- we either have kids in the same grade and school or other (religion).

Maybe one of them is going through a difficult time and wants to talk privately?

[Anonymous]

Yes, there is a small clique like that at pick-up time in my DC's ES in Bethesda. They huddle and giggle and only talk to each other (apart from fake-gracious nods and hi's to lesser beings).
Nobody likes them!

Just ignore, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be the Mom that stood alone. Then one day I saw the mothers all yapping about something so I strolled myself over there and said okay, who are you all talking about.

They started laughing and invited me to sit.

If you want to be included, try going over to them or ask the Mom you know about being included. If you find it's not for you, at least you tried.

Agree

[Anonymous]

This is the beauty of being an introvert - I love when I can just be on my own and not part of the social hub at such things as my kids' games. Rude or not, I strongly believe that most people are uncomfortable being alone for even a small amount of time.

[Anonymous]

I don't care about other moms and their kids. My DS is also in soccer and we have a bunch of moms you described. After couple of attempts to be friendly, I just started bringing magazines and a snack for myself. Eventually one of them told my ex-DH at some outing that I WASN'T FRIENDLY))) We both had a field day