Any advice for seasoned moms? Clique moms at soccer (even after 2 years)

[Anonymous]

As a first-generation immigrant Asian mom, I can relate. My daughter played lacrosse for nine years and was almost always one of the only one or two Asian players on the team—until high school. I never really connected with the other parents, who were mostly UMC white women, but it didn’t bother me. What mattered most was that my daughter loved the sport, made Captain of the varsity team in junior year, and earned Second Team All-District honors in high school two years in a row. She didn’t continue playing in college, but those years of sports helped her build a strong body and mind and shaped her character.

My son has played soccer for 12 years and is now trying to play in college. Like his sister, he’s almost always in the minority on the field. I got along better with the soccer parents, but still didn’t make close friends outside the team. I never really felt left out, though—I’m comfortable being on my own. In fact, watching him playing an exciting weekend game in a quiet and peaceful way was something I looked forward to all week.

In the end, I’m just grateful my kids had the chance to grow up with sports and develop a lifelong habit of staying active, unlike many kids back in my country. Over the years, we’ve built an incredible bond through their athletic journeys. I do my best to support their teams, but I’ve never cared much about fitting in with the other parents—and that’s perfectly fine with me.

[Anonymous]

WASP parents are the worse, more power to you dealing with the girls lax social circle. I've heard some stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WASP parents are the worse, more power to you dealing with the girls lax social circle. I've heard some stories.

Because of language and cultural differences I was relatively unaffected by the spread of rumors or gossip.

[Anonymous]

We have different languages spoken at our soccer games and I don't get involved when parents are speaking a different language one because the parents are having conversations that I'm not invited into and secondly because I don't speak the language. Soccer is a pretty international sport. I expect this and am just friendly whenever people are open to speak English.

[Anonymous]

I am the odd one out. We moved to a rural area in a tourist destination and small town where many of the parents (even grandparents) went to the same high school. No one is cliquish, and definitely not WASP, but as the odd one out, I don’t have anyone to chat with unless there’s something official to discuss like parent volunteering. I just enjoy watching my son and do my team duties and chat with those when it happens.

[Anonymous]

Easy, OP. If you want to talk, insert yourself in the group. Blatantly. That's what I've done so many times in order to make friends.

But if you want quiet time, also easy. Sit and read with a travel mug of tea. That's also what I do. It's so relaxing.

There's really no downside to any of this.