adults who live off their parents' money secretly annoy me (and i don't understand them)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That all said, I said my piece, and now I'm done. I'm perfectly okay with our present financial state. We were given 100K for a down payment for our house from parents (in addition to the $300K we had saved). SO in a way I'm the pot calling the kettle black. However, I never felt right about taking this money and it caused a huge rift in my marriage (it was from my husband's parents and was between him and them) and so I have a difficult time imagining being an adult and having my entire life paid for by my parents. That's all. I'm jealous in the way that I'm also jealous that athletes make $100k/game or whatever. It doesn't keep me up at night but it just sort of annoys me. Not sure why.

And that's that.

OP, you're not too bright.

You got $100k from your parents as a down payment. You claim you weren't comfortable taking it, but you took it. Methinks you're just jealous your parents aren't able to fund your entire life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- My parents bought me a $950k condo when I turned 25. They also bought me a car and paid my rent until I had my condo. I work and went to college.

My parents said it was because that is how it's done with 'old money' and that you pass it on to the next generation while you are still alive and also avoid paying taxes by giving a one-time gift? I don't really understand it, but I'm very grateful.

They also did this for all my siblings.

I work really hard and having my condo paid for allows me to live here while earning less money, but working job I really really love (bring a nanny!).

Did they pay for your home in cash or are they paying the mortgage? What expenses do you pay for?

I don't have an issue at all with families who do this. Just curious how it works out. I would LOVE to work because I loved what I did and didn't have to worry about money.

[b]

To answer the question, yes the condo was paid in cash. They transferred the money to me and I bought the condo. They did the same for my siblings, but my brothers also added money of their own or got a mortgage for a bigger/nicer house. I didn't need anything bigger or nicer, for me security was most important and I just didn't want to owe anything. I had to take loans out for school and pay my own tuition. When I graduated university my parents paid off my loans, because they said they were happy I had worked hard and taken out loans and want me to start off with a fresh slate. I just really love being a nanny and I'm really grateful my parents are so generous. But the rule in my house is just never ever (ever!!!) to ask for money. If I had asked I'm sure they would have always said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Nanny here- My parents bought me a $950k condo when I turned 25. They also bought me a car and paid my rent until I had my condo. I work and went to college.

My parents said it was because that is how it's done with 'old money' and that you pass it on to the next generation while you are still alive and also avoid paying taxes by giving a one-time gift? I don't really understand it, but I'm very grateful.

They also did this for all my siblings.

I work really hard and having my condo paid for allows me to live here while earning less money, but working job I really really love (bring a nanny!)."

Wow! What do your parents do for a living?

[b]

My parents are both psychologists. This is old old old family money. My parents have always said that money is for security and not to be spent (my relatives are very frugal!!!) it's to be passed on to the next generation. Seriously my Mom used to not even let me buy ziplock bags because she said they were too expensive and 'fancy'. For school lunches we used those old school baggies or parchment paper!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- My parents bought me a $950k condo when I turned 25. They also bought me a car and paid my rent until I had my condo. I work and went to college.

My parents said it was because that is how it's done with 'old money' and that you pass it on to the next generation while you are still alive and also avoid paying taxes by giving a one-time gift? I don't really understand it, but I'm very grateful.

They also did this for all my siblings.

I work really hard and having my condo paid for allows me to live here while earning less money, but working job I really really love (bring a nanny!).

Did they pay for your home in cash or are they paying the mortgage? What expenses do you pay for?

I don't have an issue at all with families who do this. Just curious how it works out. I would LOVE to work because I loved what I did and didn't have to worry about money.

[b]

To answer the question, yes the condo was paid in cash. They transferred the money to me and I bought the condo. They did the same for my siblings, but my brothers also added money of their own or got a mortgage for a bigger/nicer house. I didn't need anything bigger or nicer, for me security was most important and I just didn't want to owe anything. I had to take loans out for school and pay my own tuition. When I graduated university my parents paid off my loans, because they said they were happy I had worked hard and taken out loans and want me to start off with a fresh slate. I just really love being a nanny and I'm really grateful my parents are so generous. But the rule in my house is just never ever (ever!!!) to ask for money. If I had asked I'm sure they would have always said no.

how do you transfer $950K to someone? Isn't the max gift something like $13K/year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100K for your house and tuition help?! Shut up, OP.

LOL. Cute. Anyway my DD one day was complaining how everyone had some dress up thing for her activity and she didn't have one to practice in. I told her, look, if you spend your life thinking about what you don't have and not what you do, you are going to be a very unhappy person because ther are going to be people with more and there are going to be people with less. I do

I don't know if I could be best friends with someone at either extreme, so totally dependent on parents, or so proud to the point of bitter about not ever getting help from anyone. I just wouldn't have much in common.

[Anonymous]

^^ I'm not sure, my parents retired in Canada. I believe the rule there is you can make a one time gift? I'm not sure. But they said it would actually help them to give us money while they are still alive.

[Anonymous]

17:12 - of course! HOW do you think people hold onto their money? I have seen people go out to dinner together and they actually EXPECT others to pay because they think the others have more money. WTF? Not. Their. Business.

[Anonymous]

I think the $13k is an annual gift, but the $1 million is a one time gift under the gift tax? That's just the way it was explained to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the $13k is an annual gift, but the $1 million is a one time gift under the gift tax? That's just the way it was explained to me.

You can give up $13k per year per person, up to $1 million in your lifetime per person without incurring gift tax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the $13k is an annual gift, but the $1 million is a one time gift under the gift tax? That's just the way it was explained to me.

You can give up $13k per year per person, up to $1 million in your lifetime per person without incurring gift tax.

So I guess they could have been building the account in the person's name each year by 13k and then "gifted" it all at once. Money needs to "cure" in a joint account for 60 days in order to be transferred out and not be considered a gift, that's another way to do it just have joint accounts for a long enough time.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Okay, if you'd vented about how family money can alter the dynamic in a marriage, this thread would have taken another direction altogether. That happens all the time, just how you describe, when one spouse's family has money and the other either doesn't or doesn't have as much. and taking money from one set of parents presents a risk.

My mother's accountant told me earlier this year that the lifetime gift cap is now at $2 million but check with your own accountant!

[Anonymous]

So, does living on the couch, in your parent's basement = living off them? If so, count me in haters.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're venting about this but you took $100K from your parents as a downpayment??

GTFO!

[Anonymous]

I have no problems with families who live off the grandparents. Just wish I were so lucky!

[Anonymous]

"My parents are both psychologists. This is old old old family money. My parents have always said that money is for security and not to be spent (my relatives are very frugal!!!) it's to be passed on to the next generation. Seriously my Mom used to not even let me buy ziplock bags because she said they were too expensive and 'fancy'. For school lunches we used those old school baggies or parchment paper!"

Truly Dickens' material.