If DH just informed wants divorce…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry I do not have any advice for you but I just wanted to express my full sympathy for your situation.

I guess it depends on your state, but I don’t think he can legally take your two children to another state w/o your explicit consent.

Currently, he can go anywhere he wants with the children. As can she. Unless a court issues an order to the contrary. OP, before you start burning all your money up on an endless court battle, please try to think strategically. There are endless threads on here of women bemoaning the father's failure to look after the children. You are having this freedom offered up to you in a silver platter. Stop making decisions based on the notion that anything your husband dies is automatically bad for you. Unless this husband is a foreign national and you think he will try to flee the country, you have nothing to worry about. There is an interstate child custody compact which most states use to address multi jurisdictional custody disputes of it comes to that. Slow down and enjoy your extended summer vacation without the kids. Isn't this the break every feminist claims they want?

Horrible advice OP. Do not listen to this person. Get an attorney now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

And I would prosecute you for kidnapping or custodial interference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take them where? Grandmas house?

The Divorced Disney Dad Trip of a Lifetime!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

And I would prosecute you for kidnapping or custodial interference.

Excellent advice for Op.

How should she handle his current threat to take the kids all summer for an undefined and indefinite amount of time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

And I would prosecute you for kidnapping or custodial interference.

Agree, and I'm the PP who mentioned the involvement of federal law enforcement RE: committing this crime across state lines. I'm shocked at the posters who mock and act as if the courts are ambivalent to this sort of crime. https://www.usmarshals.gov/news/press-release/us-marshals-apprehend-woman-child-abduction. It doesn't matter how much of a dirtbag spouse you might be, the courts do not countenance the kidnapping of your children as an acceptable remedy. As a man, it doesn't matter if you've fkked every secretary in your company and every stripper in the DMV. You still might be an outstanding father and the courts recognize this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

And I would prosecute you for kidnapping or custodial interference.

Excellent advice for Op.

How should she handle his current threat to take the kids all summer for an undefined and indefinite amount of time?

I replied to that above. She needs to not consent and hire a lawyer asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry I do not have any advice for you but I just wanted to express my full sympathy for your situation.

I guess it depends on your state, but I don’t think he can legally take your two children to another state w/o your explicit consent.

Currently, he can go anywhere he wants with the children. As can she. Unless a court issues an order to the contrary. OP, before you start burning all your money up on an endless court battle, please try to think strategically. There are endless threads on here of women bemoaning the father's failure to look after the children. You are having this freedom offered up to you in a silver platter. Stop making decisions based on the notion that anything your husband dies is automatically bad for you. Unless this husband is a foreign national and you think he will try to flee the country, you have nothing to worry about. There is an interstate child custody compact which most states use to address multi jurisdictional custody disputes of it comes to that. Slow down and enjoy your extended summer vacation without the kids. Isn't this the break every feminist claims they want?

What person wants an absentee ignorant failure parenting person watching their young kids all summer? No one calls that freedom - that’s risk, liability, damaging, horrible.

Why are you contradicting yourself so much?
You must be a Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex tried to stop me from taking the kids out of state for the summer through a bogus emergency custody application. I had evidence that I was coming back. This was not going to be a permanent move. Things got very heated when he did this. Especially as we were still living together. I took the kids for the whole summer and returned. But I had been doing this for 10 years each summer so this was nothing new.

I think you should come to an agreement. Family court is horrible. Lawyers will just take your money and feed off the conflict.

As other posters have said, unless he has family or a new woman who is going to take care of the kids, is he really going to look after a 4 and 7 year old for the whole summer by himself?

This is not at all analogous to OP’s situation. You had 10 years of this arrangement and mutual understanding. DH is springing this on OP out of the blue and immediately after asking for a divorce. OP would be nuts to let this happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

And I would prosecute you for kidnapping or custodial interference.

Excellent advice for Op.

How should she handle his current threat to take the kids all summer for an undefined and indefinite amount of time?

She should threaten to prosecute him for kidnapping or custodial interference.

Duh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, if he takes them he can enroll them in school and claim that is their state of residence and you either have to move or give up custody.

This. My ex-SIL tried to do this to my brother. He didn't want a divorce, but we urged him to get a lawyer and he filed first to keep them in state.

I would consider this pronto. Do not let them travel out of state for any circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex tried to stop me from taking the kids out of state for the summer through a bogus emergency custody application. I had evidence that I was coming back. This was not going to be a permanent move. Things got very heated when he did this. Especially as we were still living together. I took the kids for the whole summer and returned. But I had been doing this for 10 years each summer so this was nothing new.

I think you should come to an agreement. Family court is horrible. Lawyers will just take your money and feed off the conflict.

As other posters have said, unless he has family or a new woman who is going to take care of the kids, is he really going to look after a 4 and 7 year old for the whole summer by himself?

Please ignore this OP. Your DH already is planning to move out of state, so this is apples to oranges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you need is to book a consultation with an attorney ASAP who will advise you about summer travel and custody consequences. And then you can decide whether to hire them, and what to do. But you need legal counsel now before your kids get out of school.

Stay calm and don't react emotionally, OP. Keep your eye on the prize - which is fair custody time and as much money as you can get. Don't forget college costs. UMD/UVA are 40K a year and some private unis are 90-100K a year now.

The default nowadays is 50/50 parenting time and equal split of marital assets. Unless OP thinks Dad is an unfit parent, that's how it's going to go down. The only question is whether or not you are going to mindlessly spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on counsel fees and years in court to end up in exactly the same place. Think with your logical brain, not with your emotions. If the family has established permanent residency in your state, your home is still the family home regardless of what your husband tried to do. He did not tell you he is going to establish residency for the children in another state. Don't let people here inflame your emotions even further with pure speculation and demonizing your husband. If he has been a good and equal parent for your children up to now, then he will do what is in their best interests. If he has not been, do you seriously think he is going to want to keep and take care of young children for a u length of time as a single parent? Of course not. He will tire of it within a couple of weeks and beg you to take the kids back. Nothing you have posted indicates he is a diabolical fiend. Again think with your brain.

Not if dad insists on moving out of state! In that case the court will decide whether it is in the best interests of the kids to move or not. OP would have a strong case to show that … but not if her exDH has already taken the kids and enrolled them in school in the other state and established them there. That’s why she can’t let him take the kids there all summer without an emergency custody agreement in place.

If they are separating which seems as they are, the dad is certainly allowed to take the kids for part of the summer which is exactly what OP said the dad proposed. He did not threaten to kidnap them. Op gave no indication he is an unfit parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he is agreeing that the children will live where they live now and visit him during summer/school breaks for an extended period of time. I would try to get that in writing as soon as possible so that you have some kind of custody agreement to work with. I would plan for him to be taking them on one of those vacations this summer, possibly a month from now, and consider this as a "plan you are making" rather than an "emotional betrayal you are experiencing."

He sounds cold and organized, which is helpful because you can be cold and organized too. Have your feelings on your own time.

Who’s the default parent?

You don’t take kids that young away for such a long period of time.

Default is one week max and you can each prohibit international travel or require approval and safety measures.

Lol there is no such thing as a "default parent."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

And I would prosecute you for kidnapping or custodial interference.

Agree, and I'm the PP who mentioned the involvement of federal law enforcement RE: committing this crime across state lines. I'm shocked at the posters who mock and act as if the courts are ambivalent to this sort of crime. https://www.usmarshals.gov/news/press-release/us-marshals-apprehend-woman-child-abduction. It doesn't matter how much of a dirtbag spouse you might be, the courts do not countenance the kidnapping of your children as an acceptable remedy. As a man, it doesn't matter if you've fkked every secretary in your company and every stripper in the DMV. You still might be an outstanding father and the courts recognize this.

Since the father is legally entitled to take the children on a vacation with him, and legally has custody of them, he is not "kidnapping" them. So now you think it's a crime for a father to take his kids on a vacation for a few weeks in the summer? Ok nutty person.

[Anonymous]

If he takes them out of state, you'd have 6 months to file for custody in the home state: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uniform_Child_Custody_Jurisdiction_and_Enforcement_Act