If DH just informed wants divorce…

[Anonymous]

What you need is to book a consultation with an attorney ASAP who will advise you about summer travel and custody consequences. And then you can decide whether to hire them, and what to do. But you need legal counsel now before your kids get out of school.

Stay calm and don't react emotionally, OP. Keep your eye on the prize - which is fair custody time and as much money as you can get. Don't forget college costs. UMD/UVA are 40K a year and some private unis are 90-100K a year now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you need is to book a consultation with an attorney ASAP who will advise you about summer travel and custody consequences. And then you can decide whether to hire them, and what to do. But you need legal counsel now before your kids get out of school.

Stay calm and don't react emotionally, OP. Keep your eye on the prize - which is fair custody time and as much money as you can get. Don't forget college costs. UMD/UVA are 40K a year and some private unis are 90-100K a year now.

The default nowadays is 50/50 parenting time and equal split of marital assets. Unless OP thinks Dad is an unfit parent, that's how it's going to go down. The only question is whether or not you are going to mindlessly spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on counsel fees and years in court to end up in exactly the same place. Think with your logical brain, not with your emotions. If the family has established permanent residency in your state, your home is still the family home regardless of what your husband tried to do. He did not tell you he is going to establish residency for the children in another state. Don't let people here inflame your emotions even further with pure speculation and demonizing your husband. If he has been a good and equal parent for your children up to now, then he will do what is in their best interests. If he has not been, do you seriously think he is going to want to keep and take care of young children for a u length of time as a single parent? Of course not. He will tire of it within a couple of weeks and beg you to take the kids back. Nothing you have posted indicates he is a diabolical fiend. Again think with your brain.

[Anonymous]

I would take the kids and disappear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What will happen with child custody this summer with our 2 young kids (7 and 4)? DH has not filed yet. We are both finding attorneys. He plans to move out of state and wants to take them with him for a long period this summer. Sounds crazy to me and not good for our kids.

What will happen and what do I need to do?

(Yes, I am finding an attorney and googling around, but if anyone has experience with this I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks.)

no one gets more than 2 weeks a pop custody during separation. He's trying to redefine the home base and perhaps even file in that different state and skrew you over.

[Anonymous]

My ex tried to stop me from taking the kids out of state for the summer through a bogus emergency custody application. I had evidence that I was coming back. This was not going to be a permanent move. Things got very heated when he did this. Especially as we were still living together. I took the kids for the whole summer and returned. But I had been doing this for 10 years each summer so this was nothing new.

I think you should come to an agreement. Family court is horrible. Lawyers will just take your money and feed off the conflict.

As other posters have said, unless he has family or a new woman who is going to take care of the kids, is he really going to look after a 4 and 7 year old for the whole summer by himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex tried to stop me from taking the kids out of state for the summer through a bogus emergency custody application. I had evidence that I was coming back. This was not going to be a permanent move. Things got very heated when he did this. Especially as we were still living together. I took the kids for the whole summer and returned. But I had been doing this for 10 years each summer so this was nothing new.

I think you should come to an agreement. Family court is horrible. Lawyers will just take your money and feed off the conflict.

As other posters have said, unless he has family or a new woman who is going to take care of the kids, is he really going to look after a 4 and 7 year old for the whole summer by himself?

+100

It actually sounds like rather than taking the kids from you permanently, which makes no sense, he is planning a huge memorable "summer vacation with Daddy" and then play house with his new shack up and drop off the face if the earth. This way when the kids ask why he was never around, when they are older in the future, he can say"But don't you remember the great vacation we had that one summer when you were kittle kids?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex tried to stop me from taking the kids out of state for the summer through a bogus emergency custody application. I had evidence that I was coming back. This was not going to be a permanent move. Things got very heated when he did this. Especially as we were still living together. I took the kids for the whole summer and returned. But I had been doing this for 10 years each summer so this was nothing new.

I think you should come to an agreement. Family court is horrible. Lawyers will just take your money and feed off the conflict.

As other posters have said, unless he has family or a new woman who is going to take care of the kids, is he really going to look after a 4 and 7 year old for the whole summer by himself?

Probably dump them on his old Mom or hire the first sitter who responds off Craigslist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

As a husband and father, I would use every available resource to put the U.S. Marshalls on your ass. If it's across state lines I will be pursuing felony kidnapping. I will go to the ends of the soon-to-be-scorched earth to address this issue.

When women (or men) say things like PP they seem ignorant of the crimes involved and the resources available to a motivated spouse. Use the court system and abide by the law. If you need to protect yourself then get an immediate short-term protective order and then file with the court for a long-term protective order (supported by evidence) while the divorce is deliberated in court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

As a husband and father, I would use every available resource to put the U.S. Marshalls on your ass. If it's across state lines I will be pursuing felony kidnapping. I will go to the ends of the soon-to-be-scorched earth to address this issue.

When women (or men) say things like PP they seem ignorant of the crimes involved and the resources available to a motivated spouse. Use the court system and abide by the law. If you need to protect yourself then get an immediate short-term protective order and then file with the court for a long-term protective order (supported by evidence) while the divorce is deliberated in court.

For sure. Get Wesley Snipes and Tommy Lee Jones on the case. LOL. I'm sure the U.S. Marshalls are going to waste time on a stupid civil custody dispute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

As a husband and father, I would use every available resource to put the U.S. Marshalls on your ass. If it's across state lines I will be pursuing felony kidnapping. I will go to the ends of the soon-to-be-scorched earth to address this issue.

When women (or men) say things like PP they seem ignorant of the crimes involved and the resources available to a motivated spouse. Use the court system and abide by the law. If you need to protect yourself then get an immediate short-term protective order and then file with the court for a long-term protective order (supported by evidence) while the divorce is deliberated in court.

For sure. Get Wesley Snipes and Tommy Lee Jones on the case. LOL. I'm sure the U.S. Marshalls are going to waste time on a stupid civil custody dispute.

It's a joke until it happens to you.

https://www.usmarshals.gov/news/press-release/us-marshals-apprehend-woman-child-abduction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you need is to book a consultation with an attorney ASAP who will advise you about summer travel and custody consequences. And then you can decide whether to hire them, and what to do. But you need legal counsel now before your kids get out of school.

Stay calm and don't react emotionally, OP. Keep your eye on the prize - which is fair custody time and as much money as you can get. Don't forget college costs. UMD/UVA are 40K a year and some private unis are 90-100K a year now.

The default nowadays is 50/50 parenting time and equal split of marital assets. Unless OP thinks Dad is an unfit parent, that's how it's going to go down. The only question is whether or not you are going to mindlessly spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on counsel fees and years in court to end up in exactly the same place. Think with your logical brain, not with your emotions. If the family has established permanent residency in your state, your home is still the family home regardless of what your husband tried to do. He did not tell you he is going to establish residency for the children in another state. Don't let people here inflame your emotions even further with pure speculation and demonizing your husband. If he has been a good and equal parent for your children up to now, then he will do what is in their best interests. If he has not been, do you seriously think he is going to want to keep and take care of young children for a u length of time as a single parent? Of course not. He will tire of it within a couple of weeks and beg you to take the kids back. Nothing you have posted indicates he is a diabolical fiend. Again think with your brain.

Not if dad insists on moving out of state! In that case the court will decide whether it is in the best interests of the kids to move or not. OP would have a strong case to show that … but not if her exDH has already taken the kids and enrolled them in school in the other state and established them there. That’s why she can’t let him take the kids there all summer without an emergency custody agreement in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.

As a husband and father, I would use every available resource to put the U.S. Marshalls on your ass. If it's across state lines I will be pursuing felony kidnapping. I will go to the ends of the soon-to-be-scorched earth to address this issue.

When women (or men) say things like PP they seem ignorant of the crimes involved and the resources available to a motivated spouse. Use the court system and abide by the law. If you need to protect yourself then get an immediate short-term protective order and then file with the court for a long-term protective order (supported by evidence) while the divorce is deliberated in court.

What’s the issue?

Kids need nice summer break?
Or you are the default parent to a SN kid?
Parent rights and family law says so?
You hate who’s divorcing you?
Punish them all?
Community ego and image?
Provide more high quality attention and teaching to your kids than others?

[Anonymous]

You get a temp custody and temp child support plan in place the first week after notifying the other party of filing for divorce. Their lawyer calls yours with the temp stuff.

Then over time mediate or go bananas in court

[Anonymous]

The issue is I want to see my kids whenever convenient and whenever I want to.

[Anonymous]

you have a 4 and 7 year old and he is already planning to move out of state?

there is for sure an out of state skank.