If DH just informed wants divorce…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex called the school district office saying he didn't want me to enroll the kids in the district. The district called me to find out what was going on. I said yes I am planning on enrolling them as the kids live with me full-time which was the truth. We had nothing filed in court yet. They couldn't stop me from enrolling the kids in the school district. And neither could my ex.

This is a different situation. Kids lived with you full time for an extended period of time. It's not like you took them somewhere without your ex consent.

No school is going to refuse to enroll a child with the correct paperwork full stop. Their job is to enroll kids not keep them out.

They may enroll but father who omitted mom on that paperwork may loose custody. Any lawyer would tell that. And I've seen schools paperwork asking marital status and both parents sign - my friends' and my own child. Schools are fed up with custody battles and don't want to be caught in the middle

*asking* puts them in the middle dummy.

And you continue to miss the point. Yes we know that if OP’s husband tries this, she can argue that he is being sneaky. But what OP wants is to prevent this from ever happening. No public school is going to refuse to enroll the kids, period. Your notion that school enrollment policies somehow protect OP is delusional. What OP needs to do is get to a lawyer and file for a temporary custody plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex called the school district office saying he didn't want me to enroll the kids in the district. The district called me to find out what was going on. I said yes I am planning on enrolling them as the kids live with me full-time which was the truth. We had nothing filed in court yet. They couldn't stop me from enrolling the kids in the school district. And neither could my ex.

This is a different situation. Kids lived with you full time for an extended period of time. It's not like you took them somewhere without your ex consent.

OP’s kids have been living with DH full time. They aren’t separated.

Are you dumb or what ? They lived full time in marital home where the kids residency is. OP should file and indicate the kids permanent residency in marital
home to prevent him from claiming the fake residency or trying to establish a new residency in a different state

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex called the school district office saying he didn't want me to enroll the kids in the district. The district called me to find out what was going on. I said yes I am planning on enrolling them as the kids live with me full-time which was the truth. We had nothing filed in court yet. They couldn't stop me from enrolling the kids in the school district. And neither could my ex.

Ok you told the truth.

Do you know there is a difference between telling the truth, and telling a lie, (fraudulent enrollment), which is what OP's husband would be doing if he did the same thing?

No one is saying that it would be ethically OK for OP's husband to take the kids on a "vacation" and then refuse to bring them back. No one is saying it would be OK for OP's husband to enroll the kids in a new school without her input. No one is saying it would be ethically OK for him to lie to the school about where their mother is. But until something is filed establishing who the kids are at which times, he could do those things. The system would allow it. Eventually, if OP filed, it's quite possible she would get the kids back, but it could be a long expensive and traumatizing process for her and the kids, and the odds aren't as good as they would be if he was in contempt. So, moving quickly and getting a court order now would both make it less likely that he will try to keep the kids in the other state, and if he does get try to keep them, less likely that he will be successful.

She doesn't need a court order at this time. All thats happened is her husband told her he wants to move out of state (she doesn't say where) and would like to have the kids with him for a good part of the summer (she doesn't say for how long either).

The kids are still living with her right now. If she was afraid he would snatch them and kidnap them then she would have already had her attorney file a divorce complaint and an application for a TRO. That could have been done by now

If OP wants to divorce she should have her attorney file the divorce complaint. Then the kids are under the local courts jurisdiction and she can also have the TRO signed.

Maybe she has done this already. If not she sure shouldn't have waited until a long holiday weekend.

Once you get the attirneys involved making possibly false allegations the fees will skyrocket so that's not the best approach to divorcing. It should be amicable..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex called the school district office saying he didn't want me to enroll the kids in the district. The district called me to find out what was going on. I said yes I am planning on enrolling them as the kids live with me full-time which was the truth. We had nothing filed in court yet. They couldn't stop me from enrolling the kids in the school district. And neither could my ex.

Ok you told the truth.

Do you know there is a difference between telling the truth, and telling a lie, (fraudulent enrollment), which is what OP's husband would be doing if he did the same thing?

No one is saying that it would be ethically OK for OP's husband to take the kids on a "vacation" and then refuse to bring them back. No one is saying it would be OK for OP's husband to enroll the kids in a new school without her input. No one is saying it would be ethically OK for him to lie to the school about where their mother is. But until something is filed establishing who the kids are at which times, he could do those things. The system would allow it. Eventually, if OP filed, it's quite possible she would get the kids back, but it could be a long expensive and traumatizing process for her and the kids, and the odds aren't as good as they would be if he was in contempt. So, moving quickly and getting a court order now would both make it less likely that he will try to keep the kids in the other state, and if he does get try to keep them, less likely that he will be successful.

We all agree OP should file. She doesn’t even need a temporary custody order right away. All she needs is to file for divorce in a state/county where the kids reside with her and her STBX and indicate the marital home address . That will start the divorce proceedings by the rules of that state and legally record the kids last permanent location

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex called the school district office saying he didn't want me to enroll the kids in the district. The district called me to find out what was going on. I said yes I am planning on enrolling them as the kids live with me full-time which was the truth. We had nothing filed in court yet. They couldn't stop me from enrolling the kids in the school district. And neither could my ex.

This is a different situation. Kids lived with you full time for an extended period of time. It's not like you took them somewhere without your ex consent.

OP’s kids have been living with DH full time. They aren’t separated.

Are you dumb or what ? They lived full time in marital home where the kids residency is. OP should file and indicate the kids permanent residency in marital
home to prevent him from claiming the fake residency or trying to establish a new residency in a different state

Yes, this. It's not saying he can't take them on vacation, it's a legal protection for their residency in the state they currently live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

Since you said "DH" I assume you were married and shared a household. You did provide them with his info no doubt and it was same address as yours and the kids. Probably a different outcome of you had told them he was living in a different state and you were separated. They probably would have asked for a copy of the custody order. The schools do want to be involved in the petty squabbles of divorcing parents who can't get along with each other. Too much liability

That's what's going to happen if ops husband tries to enroll the kids in a different state.

What kind of ex husband is going to volunteer that information? He can just enroll them in school with his new address and omit DW's info altogether. He doesn't need to say "in the process of divorce" at the time of enrollment. And if he doesn't want the prior school notified, he can easily write "homeschooled" on the form.

And such lying and fraud will cost him custody altogether when found in discovery. The default rule is the kids' permanent residency is where they lived with parents (marital home) for 6 months preceding separation. There is plentiful evidence - e.g. kids went to school, attended after school classes, ate and slept at the marital home

It's not fraudulent to claim you live somewhere that you actually live and enroll your kids in school there. Six months has nothing to do with where you're allowed to enroll your kids in school. The judge may not like it if you move away and lie about your intent to come back, but there's no fraud.

You suggested to omit his separated status and the kids mother on application. Absolutely all educational and after school establishments ask for both parents names and contacts as well as marital status in the enrollment forms.

As both a single parent with 100% custody, and as a school administrator, I've never seen a form that asks for marital status, or a school or camp that blinks if I just leave "parent 2" blank.

You would lie if you left parent 2 blank. because kids do have a parent. And that could cost you custody because there will be discovery process when schools will submit the paperwork for lawyers at court order

Families can look different. Some have one parent, some have a grandparent or two.
Our school had contact 1, contact 2, contact 3. That’s it. It needs to be someone who is familiar with the child and available.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to talk to a lawyer.

As a former AUSA married to a DUSM (it’s Marshal’s Service, by the way, to the person who keeps posting about the Marshals getting involved), you’re getting terrible legal advice in this thread. Please speak to an attorney ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

Since you said "DH" I assume you were married and shared a household. You did provide them with his info no doubt and it was same address as yours and the kids. Probably a different outcome of you had told them he was living in a different state and you were separated. They probably would have asked for a copy of the custody order. The schools do want to be involved in the petty squabbles of divorcing parents who can't get along with each other. Too much liability

That's what's going to happen if ops husband tries to enroll the kids in a different state.

What kind of ex husband is going to volunteer that information? He can just enroll them in school with his new address and omit DW's info altogether. He doesn't need to say "in the process of divorce" at the time of enrollment. And if he doesn't want the prior school notified, he can easily write "homeschooled" on the form.

And such lying and fraud will cost him custody altogether when found in discovery. The default rule is the kids' permanent residency is where they lived with parents (marital home) for 6 months preceding separation. There is plentiful evidence - e.g. kids went to school, attended after school classes, ate and slept at the marital home

It's not fraudulent to claim you live somewhere that you actually live and enroll your kids in school there. Six months has nothing to do with where you're allowed to enroll your kids in school. The judge may not like it if you move away and lie about your intent to come back, but there's no fraud.

You suggested to omit his separated status and the kids mother on application. Absolutely all educational and after school establishments ask for both parents names and contacts as well as marital status in the enrollment forms.

As both a single parent with 100% custody, and as a school administrator, I've never seen a form that asks for marital status, or a school or camp that blinks if I just leave "parent 2" blank.

You would lie if you left parent 2 blank. because kids do have a parent. And that could cost you custody because there will be discovery process when schools will submit the paperwork for lawyers at court order

Families can look different. Some have one parent, some have a grandparent or two.
Our school had contact 1, contact 2, contact 3. That’s it. It needs to be someone who is familiar with the child and available.

That’s weird. All forms I filled out - at hospitals, schools, sport teams - were asking for both parents of my minor son, or legal guardian . It’s very standard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex called the school district office saying he didn't want me to enroll the kids in the district. The district called me to find out what was going on. I said yes I am planning on enrolling them as the kids live with me full-time which was the truth. We had nothing filed in court yet. They couldn't stop me from enrolling the kids in the school district. And neither could my ex.

This is a different situation. Kids lived with you full time for an extended period of time. It's not like you took them somewhere without your ex consent.

OP’s kids have been living with DH full time. They aren’t separated.

Are you dumb or what ? They lived full time in marital home where the kids residency is. OP should file and indicate the kids permanent residency in marital
home to prevent him from claiming the fake residency or trying to establish a new residency in a different state

Yes, this. It's not saying he can't take them on vacation, it's a legal protection for their residency in the state they currently live in.

You’re really unclear on the concepts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

Since you said "DH" I assume you were married and shared a household. You did provide them with his info no doubt and it was same address as yours and the kids. Probably a different outcome of you had told them he was living in a different state and you were separated. They probably would have asked for a copy of the custody order. The schools do want to be involved in the petty squabbles of divorcing parents who can't get along with each other. Too much liability

That's what's going to happen if ops husband tries to enroll the kids in a different state.

What kind of ex husband is going to volunteer that information? He can just enroll them in school with his new address and omit DW's info altogether. He doesn't need to say "in the process of divorce" at the time of enrollment. And if he doesn't want the prior school notified, he can easily write "homeschooled" on the form.

And such lying and fraud will cost him custody altogether when found in discovery. The default rule is the kids' permanent residency is where they lived with parents (marital home) for 6 months preceding separation. There is plentiful evidence - e.g. kids went to school, attended after school classes, ate and slept at the marital home

It's not fraudulent to claim you live somewhere that you actually live and enroll your kids in school there. Six months has nothing to do with where you're allowed to enroll your kids in school. The judge may not like it if you move away and lie about your intent to come back, but there's no fraud.

You suggested to omit his separated status and the kids mother on application. Absolutely all educational and after school establishments ask for both parents names and contacts as well as marital status in the enrollment forms.

As both a single parent with 100% custody, and as a school administrator, I've never seen a form that asks for marital status, or a school or camp that blinks if I just leave "parent 2" blank.

You would lie if you left parent 2 blank. because kids do have a parent. And that could cost you custody because there will be discovery process when schools will submit the paperwork for lawyers at court order

Families can look different. Some have one parent, some have a grandparent or two.
Our school had contact 1, contact 2, contact 3. That’s it. It needs to be someone who is familiar with the child and available.

That’s weird. All forms I filled out - at hospitals, schools, sport teams - were asking for both parents of my minor son, or legal guardian . It’s very standard

And those of us with experience are telling you that hospitals, schools and sports teams will happily accept a form with one parent either left blank, or written as "Not Applicable" or maybe a name with no phone number or address.

The one exception is if you apply for financial aid. Then suddenly they want to know about EVERYONE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No he's not legally entitled to enroll them in another state. Their home remains with the OP and in her state. If he claimed otherwise he would be committing fraud upon that school district.

Dude, illegals show up at schools insider spring every week of the year and havent enrolled there properly nor unenrolled in their homeland. No one bats an eye.

Maybe the guy went online and already unenrolled his kids for next year.

Kids primary residency is established by where they permanently lived and were attending school. The marital home. And schools would request mother consent to enrollment . He can’t “establish” a new residency because he just wants it to be a different state. No.

OP needs to file and indicate where the kids current residency is . Also a good idea would be contacting all schools in a country where husband intends to live and inform the schools that mother consent wasn’t given.

Kids are enrolled in school by one parent all the time. Kids who are enrolled in school, get enrolled in another school all the time. The unenrollment happens when the new school requests records from the old school.

He has 100% rights until there is a court order that changes that. He's not going to file for a court order that takes away his custody and rights, so if OP wants to limit those right, she needs to file

Of course when that parent has a sole custody they can enroll. But as a general matter both parents should sign the enrollment forms . I dealt with similar cases.

OP does need to file go re divorce and this will confirm legally the current status quo with kids permanent residency /marital home

Do you work at a public school? The vast majority of times one parent comes in and fills out the forms.

Yes both public and private now ask for both parents. If they don’t - OP should notify the schools in that other state/country asap . That’s the purpose of reaching out while it’s all being resolved

DH NEVER signed anything in DCPS.

Since you said "DH" I assume you were married and shared a household. You did provide them with his info no doubt and it was same address as yours and the kids. Probably a different outcome of you had told them he was living in a different state and you were separated. They probably would have asked for a copy of the custody order. The schools do want to be involved in the petty squabbles of divorcing parents who can't get along with each other. Too much liability

That's what's going to happen if ops husband tries to enroll the kids in a different state.

What kind of ex husband is going to volunteer that information? He can just enroll them in school with his new address and omit DW's info altogether. He doesn't need to say "in the process of divorce" at the time of enrollment. And if he doesn't want the prior school notified, he can easily write "homeschooled" on the form.

And such lying and fraud will cost him custody altogether when found in discovery. The default rule is the kids' permanent residency is where they lived with parents (marital home) for 6 months preceding separation. There is plentiful evidence - e.g. kids went to school, attended after school classes, ate and slept at the marital home

It's not fraudulent to claim you live somewhere that you actually live and enroll your kids in school there. Six months has nothing to do with where you're allowed to enroll your kids in school. The judge may not like it if you move away and lie about your intent to come back, but there's no fraud.

You suggested to omit his separated status and the kids mother on application. Absolutely all educational and after school establishments ask for both parents names and contacts as well as marital status in the enrollment forms.

As both a single parent with 100% custody, and as a school administrator, I've never seen a form that asks for marital status, or a school or camp that blinks if I just leave "parent 2" blank.

You would lie if you left parent 2 blank. because kids do have a parent. And that could cost you custody because there will be discovery process when schools will submit the paperwork for lawyers at court order

Families can look different. Some have one parent, some have a grandparent or two.
Our school had contact 1, contact 2, contact 3. That’s it. It needs to be someone who is familiar with the child and available.

That’s weird. All forms I filled out - at hospitals, schools, sport teams - were asking for both parents of my minor son, or legal guardian . It’s very standard

And those of us with experience are telling you that hospitals, schools and sports teams will happily accept a form with one parent either left blank, or written as "Not Applicable" or maybe a name with no phone number or address.

The one exception is if you apply for financial aid. Then suddenly they want to know about EVERYONE!

The only time I have been required to list both parents is for therapy where they wanted to be sure both consented. But otherwise never, not ever for any medical care.