DD terrified to go to school due to classmates behavior. How to proceed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do finer ever instance. Document your child's school refusal based on the duration she is experiencing in class. Send to principal -'s asst principal and eventually above them. If enough learners complain, the school may do something about the disrupting kid.

Should we get an official assessment with her pediatrician? Is it inappropriate for me to reach out to the parents of the other kids struggling? I don’t want to “bully” this kid out of the class.

Dont reach out to the other parents. I have had a kid on both sides of this.

Ask the school for an assessment and make it clear when the problem started. They will refuse, so them the pediatrician. Then get a 504 for her anxiety and a “flash pass” for her to leave the classroom when she is overwhelmed. Then, when she out of the classroom so much she isn’t getting the curriculum, you will FINALLY have the ear of school officials.

Definitely document every instance of school refusal, sleepless nights, etc. What will happen is next what he kid won’t be on your kid’s class but eventually they will run out of people to put him with, so you want to be the last one they turn to again.


Meanwhile the disruptive kid has his needs ignored and he learns nothing. Quite a system we are running here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I forgot to add that a one-on-one is not a magic fix either. Most of ours come from an outside agency and don’t seem to have much training at all. Some make the situation worse. Lots of them are on their phones during the day.

My son was in a middle school gen ed science classroom with kids that needed a parapro. My kid was bored a lot because he needed a harder class. So he talked to his friend and didn't pay attention. He reported that the parapro spent time monitoring and scolding him instead of the assigned student. He said the assigned student watched episodes of "Family Guy" on the student's phone during class.

If it weren't for AP classes in high school, we might have had to leave our district.

When I was little, I asked to be promoted a grade in part due to a disruptive child in my kindergarten who was repeating. She ruined most of the group reading lessons. I did get promoted to 1st within a few weeks because I could already read late elementary level books. My mother advocated for me and was successful.

[Anonymous]

Tell them you want your CV kid moved to a differnt classroom. Contact that school superintendents office. Tori child deserves to feel safe in school too. I can’t stand that this type of child is allowed to terrorize classrooms. They should not be in general pop.

[Anonymous]

FERPA means a school ought not talk with Parents about a different family's child.

Focus on impacts to one's own child and document everything.

Often, many schools need lots of documentation before they can act.

Separately, and also fairly often, the disruptive child's parents both are aware and are engaged with the school trying to get child the special resources needed. Their ability to get those resources again often depends on having lots of documentation.

Obviously, exceptions might exist for anything above.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’re going to make any headway with this other kid so I would focus on yours and helping her build coping skills. If the school counselor is good, maybe they can help her come up with some strategies/techniques to manage her emotions when this kid is acting out.

[Anonymous]

I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I’d move her to catholic school. The public schools prioritize the one over the many.

Public schools do not get to reject children with disabilities from enrolling. That's correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

Students aren’t allowed to leave the classroom without permission. They aren’t allowed to go to another room unsupervised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

Students aren’t allowed to leave the classroom without permission. They aren’t allowed to go to another room unsupervised.

backpack?

What is the school going to do about it though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell my kid she has my permission (the only permission she needs) to calmly walk to the library and sit and read a book whenever she feels scared to be in the classroom with the bad kid, even if that’s all day every day.

I’d keep good notes on when she goes there. And then after a few weeks I’d tell the school they need to provide a free tutor during school hours to catch her up and teach her the curriculum since they have chosen to make her classroom unsafe.

Students aren’t allowed to leave the classroom without permission. They aren’t allowed to go to another room unsupervised.

backpack?

What is the school going to do about it though?

Teacher chat likely initially. Asst Principal or Principal mtg at some point. Suspension later if it becomes a pattern.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry. We are all now held hostage but these kids that should not be in the mainstream classroom (and if you're a parent of one of these kids resisting moving your kid to a different environment because of "the least restrictive environment" BS please look at yourself and your choices)

I had a similar problem - my kid was anxious and upset because of similar behaviors to what you describe. Which honestly would also give me anxiety too if I had to deal with them at my office. See if they'll allow your child to wear noise canceling headphones during these meltdowns. It's not a perfect solution but it will help some while you work on trying to get your kid moved.

[Anonymous]

I am a veteran teacher. You need to first go over the principal’s head and complain to your school board member. Then you file a state complaint that your child is not able to receive FAPE, which is a free and appropriate public education, in this situation. I’d ask to have your child moved to another classroom immediately. You really have to go right to the top with this kind of thing to get results.

[Anonymous]

Teach your kid to stop internalizing another person's bad behavior. This is an important life lesson opportunity you have in front of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach your kid to stop internalizing another person's bad behavior. This is an important life lesson opportunity you have in front of you.

So you would be fine to sit in a work conference with a coworker who yells, throws things, and makes himself vomit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I forgot to add that a one-on-one is not a magic fix either. Most of ours come from an outside agency and don’t seem to have much training at all. Some make the situation worse. Lots of them are on their phones during the day.

My son was in a middle school gen ed science classroom with kids that needed a parapro. My kid was bored a lot because he needed a harder class. So he talked to his friend and didn't pay attention. He reported that the parapro spent time monitoring and scolding him instead of the assigned student. He said the assigned student watched episodes of "Family Guy" on the student's phone during class.

If it weren't for AP classes in high school, we might have had to leave our district.

When I was little, I asked to be promoted a grade in part due to a disruptive child in my kindergarten who was repeating. She ruined most of the group reading lessons. I did get promoted to 1st within a few weeks because I could already read late elementary level books. My mother advocated for me and was successful.

I’m not sure which story is more ridiculous but I’ll say the one who asked to moved to first grade because she could read well.