Sister hits her BF - Should I be concerned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

Until you know or see exactly what led up to that, you really can’t take a view. Like what’s the argument about and is it the same issue as last argument.

This is all hearsay and you don’t even state from whom.

Sure hitting someone is wrong.
But self defense isn’t.

Aggravating someone deliberately is wrong too.
Stonewalling someone deliberately is wrong as well.

If any of the above is going on, which is escalating, she will need to leave the relationship instead of fighting back verbally or physically.

Unfortunately you can’t slap sense into someone who’s a jerk behind closed doors.

Similarly, if she’s the jerk, why ain’t the dude leaving already. That’s telling.

WOW just WOW.

There is no scenario is which hitting someone is ok no matter how angry you are. No, nothing he says justifies her physically abusing him. Are you also physically abusing your husband?

Self defense

War

What the hell are you even prattling on about? Nowhere did OP say anything about self defense.

Some people absolutely refuse to believe women can do wrong. It's the oddest thing.

Yet, they would be outraged if anyone hit them. Total insanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahh calling the cops for domestic disputes. All they do is bring both to the station.

Although I will say, the one to shut up, remain calm and tell the police the other person is unhinged, usually wins. Usually the provoker and narcissist — who control their outbursts and masking - wins the police perception battle.

If she is with a narcisist she should leave him. She has that option.

Hitting anyone, even a narcissist, is against the law.

You sound like a rapist who excuses it by saying women should not dress provocatively. Eff off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not. If they keep on doing this eventually they will hurt someone. Want her to babysit your kids?

You mean my 6’ 5” 230 lb autistic teenage boy?
Sure.

The troll zingers just keep coming

Not a troll or a zinger. This is the only child I have who needs babysitting.

Personally, I think that the size you are and your actual physical threat to other people matters when it comes to hitting other people, and that’s something I have made very clear to my child.

You are one of the shittiest parents I have ever seen on DCUM and that says a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I know it happens because I see it and she tells me about it.

They do not live together.

Besides being disciplined with belts, switches, hangers, hot sauce, we didn’t experience any abuse/violence in our childhood, and had happy normal childhoods, so no trauma history.

MMmkay. Go back to class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not. If they keep on doing this eventually they will hurt someone. Want her to babysit your kids?

You mean my 6’ 5” 230 lb autistic teenage boy?
Sure.

The troll zingers just keep coming

Not a troll or a zinger. This is the only child I have who needs babysitting.

Personally, I think that the size you are and your actual physical threat to other people matters when it comes to hitting other people, and that’s something I have made very clear to my child.

You are one of the shittiest parents I have ever seen on DCUM and that says a lot.

Whatever. I really don’t care if you think I’m a shitty parent.

I tell my autistic child that since he is bigger than other kids it’s particularly bad if he hits or comes off as threatening. It’s true, and he has to live in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not. If they keep on doing this eventually they will hurt someone. Want her to babysit your kids?

You mean my 6’ 5” 230 lb autistic teenage boy?
Sure.

Nice. You want your ASD child beaten by a sitter. Troll parent of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

Until you know or see exactly what led up to that, you really can’t take a view. Like what’s the argument about and is it the same issue as last argument.

This is all hearsay and you don’t even state from whom.

Sure hitting someone is wrong.
But self defense isn’t.

Aggravating someone deliberately is wrong too.
Stonewalling someone deliberately is wrong as well.

If any of the above is going on, which is escalating, she will need to leave the relationship instead of fighting back verbally or physically.

Unfortunately you can’t slap sense into someone who’s a jerk behind closed doors.

Similarly, if she’s the jerk, why ain’t the dude leaving already. That’s telling.

WOW just WOW.

There is no scenario is which hitting someone is ok no matter how angry you are. No, nothing he says justifies her physically abusing him. Are you also physically abusing your husband?

Self defense

War

What the hell are you even prattling on about? Nowhere did OP say anything about self defense.

Some people absolutely refuse to believe women can do wrong. It's the oddest thing.

Some people absolutely refuse to believe this is a woman’s troll post. It’s the oddest thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely need to call the police if you witness her doing this. This is physical abuse. The fact that she is a woman is irrelevant. She needs to go to jail!!!

If someone is smaller and weaker and not actually going to seriously harm the other person, that’s relevant.

Totally irrelevant. You cannot, and I repeat CANNOT lay your hands on anyone for any reason. She will rightfully get arrested and taken to jail and prosecuted. I hope she does.

Much better for the big tall man to come screaming at you in the shower, follow you out, puff out his chest, corner you in a walk-in closet and rage at you while the children are downstairs.

But don’t dare push or shove or hit him. Then you be the bad guy.

Amirite family courts??

[Anonymous]

My daughters know self defense (and their rights!), and have our full authorization to use it if bullied, blocked, or threatened by any male. Dick kick, teste twister, jaw punches, chop the neck, blackout holds. All fair game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

Until you know or see exactly what led up to that, you really can’t take a view. Like what’s the argument about and is it the same issue as last argument.

This is all hearsay and you don’t even state from whom.

Sure hitting someone is wrong.
But self defense isn’t.

Aggravating someone deliberately is wrong too.
Stonewalling someone deliberately is wrong as well.

If any of the above is going on, which is escalating, she will need to leave the relationship instead of fighting back verbally or physically.

Unfortunately you can’t slap sense into someone who’s a jerk behind closed doors.

Similarly, if she’s the jerk, why ain’t the dude leaving already. That’s telling.

WOW just WOW.

There is no scenario is which hitting someone is ok no matter how angry you are. No, nothing he says justifies her physically abusing him. Are you also physically abusing your husband?

Self defense

War

What the hell are you even prattling on about? Nowhere did OP say anything about self defense.

Some people absolutely refuse to believe women can do wrong. It's the oddest thing.

Yet, they would be outraged if anyone hit them. Total insanity.

So peculiar. It’s almost as if males and females have different body masses, muscle composition, BMIs, height, testosterone, and hand sizes.
No way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely need to call the police if you witness her doing this. This is physical abuse. The fact that she is a woman is irrelevant. She needs to go to jail!!!

If someone is smaller and weaker and not actually going to seriously harm the other person, that’s relevant.

Totally irrelevant. You cannot, and I repeat CANNOT lay your hands on anyone for any reason. She will rightfully get arrested and taken to jail and prosecuted. I hope she does.

wtf country do you live in? La la land?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ahh calling the cops for domestic disputes. All they do is bring both to the station.

Although I will say, the one to shut up, remain calm and tell the police the other person is unhinged, usually wins. Usually the provoker and narcissist — who control their outbursts and masking - wins the police perception battle.

If she is with a narcisist she should leave him. She has that option.

Hitting anyone, even a narcissist, is against the law.

You sound like a rapist who excuses it by saying women should not dress provocatively. Eff off.

What about taunting someone?
And blocking their vehicle with yours or your body?
And taping them with your phone while you verbally assault them?
And blowing horns and whistles in someone’s face?
And throwing stuff at their taillight and kicking it off?

All good?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I know it happens because I see it and she tells me about it.

They do not live together.

Besides being disciplined with belts, switches, hangers, hot sauce, we didn’t experience any abuse/violence in our childhood, and had happy normal childhoods, so no trauma history.

Now we’re DCUM trollin’ good!!!

Hope the advert sponsors see this high quality post!

Lol

[Anonymous]

You let him know, he is certainly not the first she has abused/assaulted and that she is unlikely to ever change. She will likely be smack happy with her kids as well. Ask him if this is the future he wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely need to call the police if you witness her doing this. This is physical abuse. The fact that she is a woman is irrelevant. She needs to go to jail!!!

If someone is smaller and weaker and not actually going to seriously harm the other person, that’s relevant.

Totally irrelevant. You cannot, and I repeat CANNOT lay your hands on anyone for any reason. She will rightfully get arrested and taken to jail and prosecuted. I hope she does.

Much better for the big tall man to come screaming at you in the shower, follow you out, puff out his chest, corner you in a walk-in closet and rage at you while the children are downstairs.

But don’t dare push or shove or hit him. Then you be the bad guy.

Amirite family courts??

Well that's for you and your therapist to discuss. None of that happened to OP's sister as described here. Or did all of that trauma make it impossible to read and comprehend?