Sister hits her BF - Should I be concerned?

[Anonymous]

She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

[Anonymous]

Why are you concerned about HER safety? He is the one being abused. Tell him to leave. Offer to help him leave. Does he live with her? Help him find a new place. He needs to get away from his abuser.

[Anonymous]

You absolutely need to call the police if you witness her doing this. This is physical abuse. The fact that she is a woman is irrelevant. She needs to go to jail!!!

[Anonymous]

Should you be concerned? Are you freaking serious? That has to be made up. But in case it is not, yes, you should be concerned that your sister is an abusive piece of crap. Just hope she never has children.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing you can do to stop her. You can call police if you witness it, you can offer her partner resources to get a safe place. That’s about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

you know this, how?

the trolling is really wild these days. they posts all sound the same: Counterintuitive or outrageous scenario, some weird details, and then a just fell off the turnip truck kind of "what should I do?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Should you be concerned? Are you freaking serious? That has to be made up. But in case it is not, yes, you should be concerned that your sister is an abusive piece of crap. Just hope she never has children.

Me again and I missed that your are worried about her safety. WTAF?!

[Anonymous]

You should go to the boyfriend and say "Look, I don't even know you that well, but you deserve better than this. It is not okay that she hits you. I think you should consider breaking up with her. If you need help or support, I'm happy to provide it. I'm sorry you're dealing with this."

As to what you do with your sister - jeez I don't know. Maybe check in with experts, see what they would advise? A domestic violence non-profit or helpline might have good information for you.

[Anonymous]

there are a lot more abusive women than people believe. This happens a lot and abuse towards men are reported even less than women. Sorry about your sister's bf, OP.

[Anonymous]

What happened in your childhood that your sister freaks out like this? I haven’t seen anyone act like this who doesn’t have an abuse history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened in your childhood that your sister freaks out like this? I haven’t seen anyone act like this who doesn’t have an abuse history.

Who cares? Do not excuse her behavior by attributing it to some past trauma. Plenty of us had really bad childhoods and do not abuse our partners as adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

Until you know or see exactly what led up to that, you really can’t take a view. Like what’s the argument about and is it the same issue as last argument.

This is all hearsay and you don’t even state from whom.

Sure hitting someone is wrong.
But self defense isn’t.

Aggravating someone deliberately is wrong too.
Stonewalling someone deliberately is wrong as well.

If any of the above is going on, which is escalating, she will need to leave the relationship instead of fighting back verbally or physically.

Unfortunately you can’t slap sense into someone who’s a jerk behind closed doors.

Similarly, if she’s the jerk, why ain’t the dude leaving already. That’s telling.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I know it happens because I see it and she tells me about it.

They do not live together.

Besides being disciplined with belts, switches, hangers, hot sauce, we didn’t experience any abuse/violence in our childhood, and had happy normal childhoods, so no trauma history.

[Anonymous]

So much troll sock puppeting to the troll post. Lame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

you know this, how?

the trolling is really wild these days. they posts all sound the same: Counterintuitive or outrageous scenario, some weird details, and then a just fell off the turnip truck kind of "what should I do?"

Agree

(Danish person where the turnip truck cliche originated)