Sister hits her BF - Should I be concerned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it's not. If they keep on doing this eventually they will hurt someone. Want her to babysit your kids?

You mean my 6’ 5” 230 lb autistic teenage boy?
Sure.

[Anonymous]

I am a man. My ex wife hit me three times. It never hurt physically for more than a second or two, but it was extremely upsetting. Our child saw it once, and that was devastating to me. The child later said that we had been hitting each other, which was wrong.

Calling the police would not have helped anyone. I never considered doing that for one second.

Our friends never would have guessed that my ex wife had this problem. Her physically violent outbursts only came out in certain situations. Most people would think she was incapable of hitting anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a man. My ex wife hit me three times. It never hurt physically for more than a second or two, but it was extremely upsetting. Our child saw it once, and that was devastating to me. The child later said that we had been hitting each other, which was wrong.

Calling the police would not have helped anyone. I never considered doing that for one second.

Our friends never would have guessed that my ex wife had this problem. Her physically violent outbursts only came out in certain situations. Most people would think she was incapable of hitting anyone.

Why are you staying? You should leave this horrible woman you poor, poor man.
I mean, she never actually threatened you, but somehow, she made your child think that you threatened her by observing your behavior toward her?

I can’t believe it. You should absolutely leave this situation and do no work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s in her late 20s and has a bit of a short temper. Shea been hitting her boyfriend during arguments—slapping, pulling his hair, kicking him, throwing things,or whatever else happens in the heat of the moment.

He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t believe he’s violent toward her in any way. From what I can tell and what she says, he’s good to her. I’ve already talked to my sister about it, but she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. She gets defensive when I bring it up and is very stubborn, so she doesn’t listen to anyone’s advice.

The thing is, this isn’t the first time she’s been physical in a relationship. She’s done this to past partners as well. I’m worried this could escalate, and I’m not sure how to handle it. What’s the best way to approach something like this without making things worse? I’m concerned about her safety.

Until you know or see exactly what led up to that, you really can’t take a view. Like what’s the argument about and is it the same issue as last argument.

This is all hearsay and you don’t even state from whom.

Sure hitting someone is wrong.
But self defense isn’t.

Aggravating someone deliberately is wrong too.
Stonewalling someone deliberately is wrong as well.

If any of the above is going on, which is escalating, she will need to leave the relationship instead of fighting back verbally or physically.

Unfortunately you can’t slap sense into someone who’s a jerk behind closed doors.

Similarly, if she’s the jerk, why ain’t the dude leaving already. That’s telling.

WOW just WOW.

There is no scenario is which hitting someone is ok no matter how angry you are. No, nothing he says justifies her physically abusing him. Are you also physically abusing your husband?

Self defense

War

What the hell are you even prattling on about? Nowhere did OP say anything about self defense.

Some people absolutely refuse to believe women can do wrong. It's the oddest thing.

[Anonymous]

If you are not a troll, how do you not know what her problem is? You both clueless? Must be genetic.
Hope she gets arrested soon, stays single, and stays away from kids elderly, and animals.
She can live, but alone.
Pull out a camera, record it, have her arrested before someone gets hurt or ends up dead.
What if the BF loses it finally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I know it happens because I see it and she tells me about it.

They do not live together.

Besides being disciplined with belts, switches, hangers, hot sauce, we didn’t experience any abuse/violence in our childhood, and had happy normal childhoods, so no trauma history.

This sounds like some trauma to me.

This sounds like trolling to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not. If they keep on doing this eventually they will hurt someone. Want her to babysit your kids?

You mean my 6’ 5” 230 lb autistic teenage boy?
Sure.

The troll zingers just keep coming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I know it happens because I see it and she tells me about it.

They do not live together.

Besides being disciplined with belts, switches, hangers, hot sauce, we didn’t experience any abuse/violence in our childhood, and had happy normal childhoods, so no trauma history.

I'm sorry, WHAT?!?

[Anonymous]

Ahh calling the cops for domestic disputes. All they do is bring both to the station.

Although I will say, the one to shut up, remain calm and tell the police the other person is unhinged, usually wins. Usually the provoker and narcissist — who control their outbursts and masking - wins the police perception battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I know it happens because I see it and she tells me about it.

They do not live together.

Besides being disciplined with belts, switches, hangers, hot sauce, we didn’t experience any abuse/violence in our childhood, and had happy normal childhoods, so no trauma history.

Yup yup statistics. Yup.

Now we’re DCUM trollin’ good!!!

Hope the advert sponsors see this high quality post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it's not. If they keep on doing this eventually they will hurt someone. Want her to babysit your kids?

You mean my 6’ 5” 230 lb autistic teenage boy?
Sure.

The troll zingers just keep coming

Not a troll or a zinger. This is the only child I have who needs babysitting.

Personally, I think that the size you are and your actual physical threat to other people matters when it comes to hitting other people, and that’s something I have made very clear to my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahh calling the cops for domestic disputes. All they do is bring both to the station.

Although I will say, the one to shut up, remain calm and tell the police the other person is unhinged, usually wins. Usually the provoker and narcissist — who control their outbursts and masking - wins the police perception battle.

Agreed.

So the answer is, yes, OP. You should be concerned for your sister, and you should support her getting out of the situation. Especially if she has kids. CPS is full of young women with no experience, and they will side with the charismatic narcissist 90% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should be calling the police

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened in your childhood that your sister freaks out like this? I haven’t seen anyone act like this who doesn’t have an abuse history.

Who cares? Do not excuse her behavior by attributing it to some past trauma. Plenty of us had really bad childhoods and do not abuse our partners as adults.

Okay. John McCain was a POW for 5 years in Vietnam and he turned out to be a US senator. Does that mean that all other POWs should be held to the same standard??

Do you think war survivors get a pass to abuse their spouses? I have no idea what in the world you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely need to call the police if you witness her doing this. This is physical abuse. The fact that she is a woman is irrelevant. She needs to go to jail!!!

If someone is smaller and weaker and not actually going to seriously harm the other person, that’s relevant.

Totally irrelevant. You cannot, and I repeat CANNOT lay your hands on anyone for any reason. She will rightfully get arrested and taken to jail and prosecuted. I hope she does.