what is the worst thing someone has said to you, on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your son would fit in well at Oberlin.”

That's so funny. One of my friend's kids is actually at Oberlin.

I would consider that a compliment. One of the smartest students in my class ended up at Oberlin.

They were far smarter than I was, anyway.

Yeah I thought that for a long time, until the teacher at Georgetown Prep who had recently graduated from Oberlin fondled the 13 yr old girl

NP. So you just think that anyone who goes to Oberlin molests kids? Mmkay.

No I do not. But it will tarnish their image, absolutely and you know that.

If you think there are any colleges that have not graduated students who went on to do heinous things, I have some bad news for you.

Keep thinking I'm naive buddy, if it makes you happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was diagnosed with a life limiting condition. They would eventually die about 14 months later so this was not a mild diagnosis.

He left the hospital dependent on a ventilator. As we were reeling and trying to figure out how to balance his new and enormous needs with those of his siblings, I posted here. People told me I was selfish for not putting my “normal” kids first 100% of the time, that he probably was so disabled he didn’t know I existed (note: his cognitive capacities were not impacted by his medical condition, but even if they had been, kids with intellectual and developmental disabilities know their parents exist), and that I was obviously exaggerating about his needs.

I am so very sorry on the death of your beloved child.
There is no excuse for what others responded to your post.

But unfortunately it is typical of some of the posters on here.

I honestly could never speak this way, even if I were 200% anonymous.
💔

[Anonymous]

Are some people just inherently evil? How can people say such mean things? I don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a post about insurance and I said my disabled daughter is one that would suffer if Medicaid ended. Someone said "maybe she should get off her lazy butt and get a job."
She's blind. She does work some but not enough for insurance.

So sad.
People on here think anyone who is eligible for resources that the system offers are simply poaching the taxpayers.

They do not realize that these resources exist as a safety net for those that are needy - they do not want to admit that these services exist for a fundamental reason - - that people are disadvantaged and would be down + out if left to their own devices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your son would fit in well at Oberlin.”

That's so funny. One of my friend's kids is actually at Oberlin.

I would consider that a compliment. One of the smartest students in my class ended up at Oberlin.

They were far smarter than I was, anyway.

Yeah I thought that for a long time, until the teacher at Georgetown Prep who had recently graduated from Oberlin fondled the 13 yr old girl

NP. So you just think that anyone who goes to Oberlin molests kids? Mmkay.

No I do not. But it will tarnish their image, absolutely and you know that.

If you think there are any colleges that have not graduated students who went on to do heinous things, I have some bad news for you.

Keep thinking I'm naive buddy, if it makes you happy.

Why would it make me happy? I just think your comment that “I USED to think Oberlin students were smart until that one guy did that thing” is dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are some people just inherently evil? How can people say such mean things? I don’t understand.

They are the ones who voted for the current administration and what it has wrought.

I don’t understand that either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your son would fit in well at Oberlin.”

That's so funny. One of my friend's kids is actually at Oberlin.

I would consider that a compliment. One of the smartest students in my class ended up at Oberlin.

They were far smarter than I was, anyway.

Yeah I thought that for a long time, until the teacher at Georgetown Prep who had recently graduated from Oberlin fondled the 13 yr old girl

NP. So you just think that anyone who goes to Oberlin molests kids? Mmkay.

No I do not. But it will tarnish their image, absolutely and you know that.

If you think there are any colleges that have not graduated students who went on to do heinous things, I have some bad news for you.

Keep thinking I'm naive buddy, if it makes you happy.

Why would it make me happy? I just think your comment that “I USED to think Oberlin students were smart until that one guy did that thing” is dumb.

You should improve your reading comprehension skills. ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are some people just inherently evil? How can people say such mean things? I don’t understand.

They are the ones who voted for the current administration and what it has wrought.

I don’t understand that either.

Why is a version of this response on every thread? Go touch grass lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your son would fit in well at Oberlin.”

That's so funny. One of my friend's kids is actually at Oberlin.

I would consider that a compliment. One of the smartest students in my class ended up at Oberlin.

They were far smarter than I was, anyway.

Yeah I thought that for a long time, until the teacher at Georgetown Prep who had recently graduated from Oberlin fondled the 13 yr old girl

NP. So you just think that anyone who goes to Oberlin molests kids? Mmkay.

No I do not. But it will tarnish their image, absolutely and you know that.

If you think there are any colleges that have not graduated students who went on to do heinous things, I have some bad news for you.

Keep thinking I'm naive buddy, if it makes you happy.

Why would it make me happy? I just think your comment that “I USED to think Oberlin students were smart until that one guy did that thing” is dumb.

You should improve your reading comprehension skills. ASAP

I’m all set, thanks.

[Anonymous]

Someone called me a nightmare. Another time someone said I was the most negative person ever on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

Curious.

How do you guarantee something like that?

Do you have some special knowledge that no one else has?

How do I get on the payroll? I have been doing it for free.

[Anonymous]

I started posting on DCUM during the pandemic (boredom + loneliness + anxiety over everything led me here -- I suspect I'm not alone in this). Even though I live in DC and had a 2 year old at the time, I wasn't even aware of the website prior to that.

I have been insulted lots of times though most of them don't really stick out and I can't remember exactly what people said. However I recall a time within my first year of being here where a poster was so cruel to me (repeatedly calling me a troll, ripping apart my posts and making fun of how I wrote, accusing me of sock puppeting, something I didn't even know about at the time) that it genuinely impacted my mental health for a few days. I remember I kept engaging with them to defend myself, and then reading these awful things they'd say to me in response, and becoming internally upset and leaving the site for a few hours to calm down, and then coming back again and repeating the cycle.

I finally recognized that they were intentionally baiting me, that my emotional reaction was obviously exactly what the wanted, and left that thread. I took a little break from DCUM after that, maybe a few weeks. But I eventually made my way back.

After that though, I discovered that when people would say rude things to me, I was better able to ignore them. Often I wouldn't engage, or if I did, it was in a detached way that didn't invite more debate. Not defensively. I learned, when I started threads, to mostly ignore the posters who would jump in right away to attack. I learned to report posts that were obviously against DCUM standards or totally derailing a thread.

In the end, I think the experience has been good for me. It's actually probably good for me to see the worst things people can say to me about my intelligence, my parenting, my personal choices. I am sure some of these are things people IRL have thought of me but never said. Confronting them on DCUM has helped me let go of the idea that it matters what strangers think of me. It's made me less defensive in general and more apt to write off people who are unfairly judgmental as simply not useful.

It's like going to grad school for dealing with vicious people. At first it tears you apart, but then you build back up stronger and wiser and with more tools in your toolkit, so to speak.

Now if someone insults me on here it doesn't even register. I know people have done it recently but I couldn't even tell you what they said. I skim over it and move on with my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

Curious.

How do you guarantee something like that?

Do you have some special knowledge that no one else has?

I will rephrase: I would go to Vegas and bet a million dollars that the people calling this woman insufferable were not paid trolls. It’s interesting that people come here for “honest” feedback but when they get it and don’t like it, all of the sudden the mysterious paid trolls who like to visit DCUM are the ones doing the critiquing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was diagnosed with a life limiting condition. They would eventually die about 14 months later so this was not a mild diagnosis.

He left the hospital dependent on a ventilator. As we were reeling and trying to figure out how to balance his new and enormous needs with those of his siblings, I posted here. People told me I was selfish for not putting my “normal” kids first 100% of the time, that he probably was so disabled he didn’t know I existed (note: his cognitive capacities were not impacted by his medical condition, but even if they had been, kids with intellectual and developmental disabilities know their parents exist), and that I was obviously exaggerating about his needs.

I am so very sorry on the death of your beloved child.
There is no excuse for what others responded to your post.

But unfortunately it is typical of some of the posters on here.

I honestly could never speak this way, even if I were 200% anonymous.
💔

+1. I’ve seen posters respond that way when people talk about illnesses of their children, problems with health care and I am so sorry to read those responses. It makes me feel like there are a few people on this Board who are sociopaths. I hope they know that nothing is truly anonymous on the internet and one day their descendants will read the toxic bile they posted and feel ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

If you are often insulted on DCUM in response to comments you have made, that's worth some self-reflection.