what is the worst thing someone has said to you, on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know who you are

I'm posting from your basement.

[Anonymous]

I shared that I finally found something that worked for my 3 yr old that was continually throwing a temper tantrum and was unconsolable. Now we call it dysregulation and its talked about quite a bit in the Kids with Special Needs forum. But when my son was 3, I didn't know any better and I posted in the General Parenting group.

I was thrilled that I found that a quiet drive was able to calm him down in about 15 min. Some horrible human being commented that a drive in a car is a reward and I should not reward my kid for having a tantrum. That comment has obviously stuck with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was diagnosed with a life limiting condition. They would eventually die about 14 months later so this was not a mild diagnosis.

He left the hospital dependent on a ventilator. As we were reeling and trying to figure out how to balance his new and enormous needs with those of his siblings, I posted here. People told me I was selfish for not putting my “normal” kids first 100% of the time, that he probably was so disabled he didn’t know I existed (note: his cognitive capacities were not impacted by his medical condition, but even if they had been, kids with intellectual and developmental disabilities know their parents exist), and that I was obviously exaggerating about his needs.

I am so, so sorry OP. That is absolutely heartbreaking. People will post the most ghoulish things here because it’s anonymous.

[Anonymous]

I think there are obviously accounts here that just seek to troll

Recommend a movie: "you clearly have bad taste in movies"

I've been called "disgustingly nouveau riche"

Asking advice for my daughter and bc: "you must be so proud that your teenager sleeps around so much"

"You just make yourself sound fat"

Mostly I just get called a liar ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I shared that I finally found something that worked for my 3 yr old that was continually throwing a temper tantrum and was unconsolable. Now we call it dysregulation and its talked about quite a bit in the Kids with Special Needs forum. But when my son was 3, I didn't know any better and I posted in the General Parenting group.

I was thrilled that I found that a quiet drive was able to calm him down in about 15 min. Some horrible human being commented that a drive in a car is a reward and I should not reward my kid for having a tantrum. That comment has obviously stuck with me.

I think in this forum you have to get to a point where you already see the mean comments incoming

They are trying to make you feel horrible and they have no boundaries

I've seen comments (not on this site) about how if you breastfeed you are feeding your child your own bodily fluids which is disgusting, everyone of any knowledge knows that cows milk is the only real milk you should feed infants, to breastfeed is to commit child abuse

Like you really have to absorb that there's a different kind of warfare going on.

I think I once got told by someone that taking my child with autism out in public was infringing on the public's right to be free of kids who act like freaks (not on this site, again)

But they're kind of everywhere

[Anonymous]

I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was diagnosed with a life limiting condition. They would eventually die about 14 months later so this was not a mild diagnosis.

He left the hospital dependent on a ventilator. As we were reeling and trying to figure out how to balance his new and enormous needs with those of his siblings, I posted here. People told me I was selfish for not putting my “normal” kids first 100% of the time, that he probably was so disabled he didn’t know I existed (note: his cognitive capacities were not impacted by his medical condition, but even if they had been, kids with intellectual and developmental disabilities know their parents exist), and that I was obviously exaggerating about his needs.

I am very sorry. Peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I shared that I finally found something that worked for my 3 yr old that was continually throwing a temper tantrum and was unconsolable. Now we call it dysregulation and its talked about quite a bit in the Kids with Special Needs forum. But when my son was 3, I didn't know any better and I posted in the General Parenting group.

I was thrilled that I found that a quiet drive was able to calm him down in about 15 min. Some horrible human being commented that a drive in a car is a reward and I should not reward my kid for having a tantrum. That comment has obviously stuck with me.

That really doesn't seem like that bad of a remark. Certainly not compared to some of the others mentioned. I don't agree with it, but it seems odd that this one stuck with you like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids was diagnosed with a life limiting condition. They would eventually die about 14 months later so this was not a mild diagnosis.

He left the hospital dependent on a ventilator. As we were reeling and trying to figure out how to balance his new and enormous needs with those of his siblings, I posted here. People told me I was selfish for not putting my “normal” kids first 100% of the time, that he probably was so disabled he didn’t know I existed (note: his cognitive capacities were not impacted by his medical condition, but even if they had been, kids with intellectual and developmental disabilities know their parents exist), and that I was obviously exaggerating about his needs.

I am so, so sorry OP. That is absolutely heartbreaking. People will post the most ghoulish things here because it’s anonymous.

That is not the OP. But it is nevertheless a heart breaking story.
I am the OP and I realize there's a huge disconnect between reality and a lot of things people post on here.
I'm surprised Jeff has kept his sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shared that I finally found something that worked for my 3 yr old that was continually throwing a temper tantrum and was unconsolable. Now we call it dysregulation and its talked about quite a bit in the Kids with Special Needs forum. But when my son was 3, I didn't know any better and I posted in the General Parenting group.

I was thrilled that I found that a quiet drive was able to calm him down in about 15 min. Some horrible human being commented that a drive in a car is a reward and I should not reward my kid for having a tantrum. That comment has obviously stuck with me.

That really doesn't seem like that bad of a remark. Certainly not compared to some of the others mentioned. I don't agree with it, but it seems odd that this one stuck with you like that.

Most likely it has stuck with me because I was still new to DCUM. I was so happy and wanted to share. I didn't know about the level of snarkiness and vitrol on this site. 10 years later a comment like this would roll off of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shared that I finally found something that worked for my 3 yr old that was continually throwing a temper tantrum and was unconsolable. Now we call it dysregulation and its talked about quite a bit in the Kids with Special Needs forum. But when my son was 3, I didn't know any better and I posted in the General Parenting group.

I was thrilled that I found that a quiet drive was able to calm him down in about 15 min. Some horrible human being commented that a drive in a car is a reward and I should not reward my kid for having a tantrum. That comment has obviously stuck with me.

That really doesn't seem like that bad of a remark. Certainly not compared to some of the others mentioned. I don't agree with it, but it seems odd that this one stuck with you like that.

Most likely it has stuck with me because I was still new to DCUM. I was so happy and wanted to share. I didn't know about the level of snarkiness and vitrol on this site. 10 years later a comment like this would roll off of me.

That makes sense. And I feel like 10 yrs ago there was less vitriol anyway. Likely the poster didn't even intend for it to be mean. (guessing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shared that I finally found something that worked for my 3 yr old that was continually throwing a temper tantrum and was unconsolable. Now we call it dysregulation and its talked about quite a bit in the Kids with Special Needs forum. But when my son was 3, I didn't know any better and I posted in the General Parenting group.

I was thrilled that I found that a quiet drive was able to calm him down in about 15 min. Some horrible human being commented that a drive in a car is a reward and I should not reward my kid for having a tantrum. That comment has obviously stuck with me.

That really doesn't seem like that bad of a remark. Certainly not compared to some of the others mentioned. I don't agree with it, but it seems odd that this one stuck with you like that.

Most likely it has stuck with me because I was still new to DCUM. I was so happy and wanted to share. I didn't know about the level of snarkiness and vitrol on this site. 10 years later a comment like this would roll off of me.

That makes sense. And I feel like 10 yrs ago there was less vitriol anyway. Likely the poster didn't even intend for it to be mean. (guessing).

No, 10 yrs ago it was still nasty. OP here.
I started posting in 2014 when my kids were 8 and 7 and we were moving from LA to Bethesda. I was met with answers like "who cares?" when trying to figure out what sort of LA things would make my kids stand out too much, and should be changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me it was in the Health forum about 2 or 3 yrs back. I mentioned a chronic condition that I have, it was only the second time I'd mentioned it on here, when another poster told me I was "always here, milking it" and that they hoped I'd die.

I've never had anything so harsh said before, or since, fortunately.

Not to laugh at you but I am cracking up because that's so on brand. Last week someone wished someone to die because they were wasting resources by going to an ENT for earwax cleaning instead of urgent care! I reported it, hopefully before the person saw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are obviously accounts here that just seek to troll

Recommend a movie: "you clearly have bad taste in movies"

I've been called "disgustingly nouveau riche"

Asking advice for my daughter and bc: "you must be so proud that your teenager sleeps around so much"

"You just make yourself sound fat"

Mostly I just get called a liar ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯

Are you the cool mom who bragged that she sent her daughter off to her first year of college with a zillion condoms & morning after pills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shared that I finally found something that worked for my 3 yr old that was continually throwing a temper tantrum and was unconsolable. Now we call it dysregulation and its talked about quite a bit in the Kids with Special Needs forum. But when my son was 3, I didn't know any better and I posted in the General Parenting group.

I was thrilled that I found that a quiet drive was able to calm him down in about 15 min. Some horrible human being commented that a drive in a car is a reward and I should not reward my kid for having a tantrum. That comment has obviously stuck with me.

That really doesn't seem like that bad of a remark. Certainly not compared to some of the others mentioned. I don't agree with it, but it seems odd that this one stuck with you like that.

Most likely it has stuck with me because I was still new to DCUM. I was so happy and wanted to share. I didn't know about the level of snarkiness and vitrol on this site. 10 years later a comment like this would roll off of me.

That makes sense. And I feel like 10 yrs ago there was less vitriol anyway. Likely the poster didn't even intend for it to be mean. (guessing).

No, 10 yrs ago it was still nasty. OP here.
I started posting in 2014 when my kids were 8 and 7 and we were moving from LA to Bethesda. I was met with answers like "who cares?" when trying to figure out what sort of LA things would make my kids stand out too much, and should be changed.

As someone who has lived in both L.A. and Bethesda, that is a very stupid question. You got off easy.