what is the worst thing someone has said to you, on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Years ago someone told me I was smug and you know what? They were right. I had easy, naturally pleasant and problem-free kids and it wasn’t due to my superior parenting. And it stung to read, but then I thought well fair enough, they aren’t wrong, and I swear it has kept me from getting too pleased with myself ever since.

This is the most delightful response. I think we all need to be called out on our BS occasionally- it makes us better people, if we’re like you and able to take some criticism.

+1 - delightful and rare

[Anonymous]

Probably not the worst but the weirdest rude comment was when I posted asking for travel recs to a specific place in the travel forum and someone's response was - why did you book this trip if you don't know what you want to do when you get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably not the worst but the weirdest rude comment was when I posted asking for travel recs to a specific place in the travel forum and someone's response was - why did you book this trip if you don't know what you want to do when you get there.

That's not an entirely stupid question...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

DP. I would 100% fire a nanny that put the baby to sleep on its stomach. This is basic childcare knowledge.

This is not a reason to fire a nanny on the spot.
A lot of parents put their babies in their crib/bassinet on their stomachs ….. it isn’t basic childcare knowledge.

I put all four of my babies to sleep on their stomachs and they have all been healthy, thriving kids -> adults.

I would fire a nanny who abused or neglected my child.
I.e., left him alone in the bathtub, fell asleep while child was unsupervised or drove them inside a car w/out a car seat, etc.

But not for putting my infant down on his stomach! ??

A nanny isn’t supposed to be clueless about safe sleep practices and basic childcare knowledge. You’re feeling defensive because you were.

DP.

I also put my baby to sleep on his stomach, despite knowing that it’s not considered safe. You know why? It’s the only way he (and by extension, we) would actually f—king sleep.

You know what is statistically more likely to cause child death than sleeping on the stomach? That’s right, car crashes! You know what can contribute to the likelihood of that happening? Right again, chronically sleep deprived parents!

+1

I also did this when my children were young babies so that they would actually sleep.
And my children have not had any long-term issues arising from me doing so.

And I would never fire my nanny over something like this.
If I didn’t want my nanny putting my baby to sleep on their stomach then it would be entirely up to me to let her know this prior.
And no, it is not basic childcare knowledge to not do so.

Basic childcare knowledge is not feeding a young child a jawbreaker or allowing them to swim in a pool unsupervised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

DP. I would 100% fire a nanny that put the baby to sleep on its stomach. This is basic childcare knowledge.

This is not a reason to fire a nanny on the spot.
A lot of parents put their babies in their crib/bassinet on their stomachs ….. it isn’t basic childcare knowledge.

I put all four of my babies to sleep on their stomachs and they have all been healthy, thriving kids -> adults.

I would fire a nanny who abused or neglected my child.
I.e., left him alone in the bathtub, fell asleep while child was unsupervised or drove them inside a car w/out a car seat, etc.

But not for putting my infant down on his stomach! ??

A nanny isn’t supposed to be clueless about safe sleep practices and basic childcare knowledge. You’re feeling defensive because you were.

DP.

I also put my baby to sleep on his stomach, despite knowing that it’s not considered safe. You know why? It’s the only way he (and by extension, we) would actually f—king sleep.

You know what is statistically more likely to cause child death than sleeping on the stomach? That’s right, car crashes! You know what can contribute to the likelihood of that happening? Right again, chronically sleep deprived parents!

+1

I also did this when my children were young babies so that they would actually sleep.
And my children have not had any long-term issues arising from me doing so.

And I would never fire my nanny over something like this.
If I didn’t want my nanny putting my baby to sleep on their stomach then it would be entirely up to me to let her know this prior.
And no, it is not basic childcare knowledge to not do so.

Basic childcare knowledge is not feeding a young child a jawbreaker or allowing them to swim in a pool unsupervised.

OFFS this is not the parenting forum. Shut up already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

It was a dumb decision on your part. Why would you even do that?

How is dumb if she was literally watching him? Explain what exactly you think could have happened.

I'll answer. Nobody actually thinks a nanny is staring at a sleeping baby for the duration of a nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

DP. I would 100% fire a nanny that put the baby to sleep on its stomach. This is basic childcare knowledge.

This is not a reason to fire a nanny on the spot.
A lot of parents put their babies in their crib/bassinet on their stomachs ….. it isn’t basic childcare knowledge.

I put all four of my babies to sleep on their stomachs and they have all been healthy, thriving kids -> adults.

I would fire a nanny who abused or neglected my child.
I.e., left him alone in the bathtub, fell asleep while child was unsupervised or drove them inside a car w/out a car seat, etc.

But not for putting my infant down on his stomach! ??

A nanny isn’t supposed to be clueless about safe sleep practices and basic childcare knowledge. You’re feeling defensive because you were.

DP.

I also put my baby to sleep on his stomach, despite knowing that it’s not considered safe. You know why? It’s the only way he (and by extension, we) would actually f—king sleep.

You know what is statistically more likely to cause child death than sleeping on the stomach? That’s right, car crashes! You know what can contribute to the likelihood of that happening? Right again, chronically sleep deprived parents!

+1

I also did this when my children were young babies so that they would actually sleep.
And my children have not had any long-term issues arising from me doing so.

And I would never fire my nanny over something like this.
If I didn’t want my nanny putting my baby to sleep on their stomach then it would be entirely up to me to let her know this prior.
And no, it is not basic childcare knowledge to not do so.

Basic childcare knowledge is not feeding a young child a jawbreaker or allowing them to swim in a pool unsupervised.

If you never heard the "back to sleep" campaign you have been under a rock. How old are your "kids" exactly if you didn't know this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been insulted a bunch. “Insufferable” is one that stands out recently, but it was based on an assumption about me that in fact couldn’t be further from the truth.

I figure, they’re not actually insulting me, they’re insulting a character they dreamed up in their head and projected onto something small I said.

Or they are a dopamine addict who needs a tiny hit, or a paid troll here explicitly to cause fracture in our society, because there’s a lot of that here, too. Whatever the case, insults have become predictable enough that they start to become invisible. Usually when they are directed at me I am able to look right past them.

I guarantee there are no paid trolls here calling you insufferable.

If you are often insulted on DCUM in response to comments you have made, that's worth some self-reflection.

Nope. If someone calls you out in a way that bothers you a weird amount, THAT is worth self-reflection (as they've likely struck a nerve). But simply getting insulted a lot on here? That is just a function of posting here. I've seen people get attacked on these boards for literally every reason under the sun. People get attacked for being immigrants and attacked for being American. For being working moms or being SAHMs, for being interested in things and for lacking curiosity. People will insult you on here for existing, for breathing. Being insulted on DCUM is just part of being on DCUM, for better or worse.

I can't even think of the "worst thing" someone has said to me on here because after awhile all the angry, insulting posters kind of blur together and you don't really even see their posts. I am actually far more likely to be bothered by a post insulting someone else, which can trigger protective instincts. But someone insulting me? Eh, whatever, I do not take it seriously at all anymore.

It happens so often that the insulting posts blur together? Yeah, that's definitely the fault of everyone else, and you bear no responsibility at all.

Did you ever see Rounders? The opening line is (paraphrasing) , "If you sit down at a [poker] table and can't spot the sucker in 30 minutes, you ARE the sucker."

But, whatever you need to tell yourself.

Eh, I believe PP.

I’ve seen people on here insulted for truly benign things. It’s as if some posters are just itching to insult, like their insides are filled with free-floating insults desperately searching for an outlet. It’s really weird sometimes.

I see those people too and I think they are possibly quite meek in real life, the under-dogs who get treated badly by someone on a regular basis, this place is like free Gestalt therapy for them, they can punch the pillow and shout "I hate you Daddy" metaphorically when they call someone whatever insult they are throwing around that day.

I honestly think this is true for a lot of people. I’ve been on an online community for close to 20 years now. The number of people participating used to be quite high, several hundreds participating regularly, but has now dropped to maybe 50-ish. I have met many of them in real life (certainly not all, but of the 50-ish who are still around, every one of them has been met in person by various people at one point or another, so nobody is an anonymous troll anymore - although there certainly were fake accounts when the community was larger but that is neither here nor there).

And we’re all older now and nobody reaches their late 30s without going through some real ****. For a lot of people it starts earlier than that. Fertility troubles, marriage troubles, divorces, second divorces, health problems, parent and IL health problems, older relative drama in general, children serious health problems, money/unemployment issues, drug abuse and alcoholism. You name it someone’s been through it. There were people who would lash out at everyone and be super rude and aggressive and months later, they’d say their husband or BF moved out months ago or they lost their job or whatever. And there would absolutely be people who were going through tough times and were still pretty normal and didn’t lash out randomly. And this was on a non-anonymous community where people sort of knew each other! The computer/phone screen gives everyone too much anonymity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

It was a dumb decision on your part. Why would you even do that?

How is dumb if she was literally watching him? Explain what exactly you think could have happened.

I'll answer. Nobody actually thinks a nanny is staring at a sleeping baby for the duration of a nap.

Explain exactly what you think could have happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

DP. I would 100% fire a nanny that put the baby to sleep on its stomach. This is basic childcare knowledge.

This is not a reason to fire a nanny on the spot.
A lot of parents put their babies in their crib/bassinet on their stomachs ….. it isn’t basic childcare knowledge.

I put all four of my babies to sleep on their stomachs and they have all been healthy, thriving kids -> adults.

I would fire a nanny who abused or neglected my child.
I.e., left him alone in the bathtub, fell asleep while child was unsupervised or drove them inside a car w/out a car seat, etc.

But not for putting my infant down on his stomach! ??

A nanny isn’t supposed to be clueless about safe sleep practices and basic childcare knowledge. You’re feeling defensive because you were.

DP.

I also put my baby to sleep on his stomach, despite knowing that it’s not considered safe. You know why? It’s the only way he (and by extension, we) would actually f—king sleep.

You know what is statistically more likely to cause child death than sleeping on the stomach? That’s right, car crashes! You know what can contribute to the likelihood of that happening? Right again, chronically sleep deprived parents!

+1

I also did this when my children were young babies so that they would actually sleep.
And my children have not had any long-term issues arising from me doing so.

And I would never fire my nanny over something like this.
If I didn’t want my nanny putting my baby to sleep on their stomach then it would be entirely up to me to let her know this prior.
And no, it is not basic childcare knowledge to not do so.

Basic childcare knowledge is not feeding a young child a jawbreaker or allowing them to swim in a pool unsupervised.

If you never heard the "back to sleep" campaign you have been under a rock. How old are your "kids" exactly if you didn't know this?

DP. I had heard of it, but I decided to trust my own judgment and take a calculated (and extremely minuscule) risk in the interest of actually getting some GD sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

Your'e way off topic

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

DP. I would 100% fire a nanny that put the baby to sleep on its stomach. This is basic childcare knowledge.

This is not a reason to fire a nanny on the spot.
A lot of parents put their babies in their crib/bassinet on their stomachs ….. it isn’t basic childcare knowledge.

I put all four of my babies to sleep on their stomachs and they have all been healthy, thriving kids -> adults.

I would fire a nanny who abused or neglected my child.
I.e., left him alone in the bathtub, fell asleep while child was unsupervised or drove them inside a car w/out a car seat, etc.

But not for putting my infant down on his stomach! ??

A nanny isn’t supposed to be clueless about safe sleep practices and basic childcare knowledge. You’re feeling defensive because you were.

DP.

I also put my baby to sleep on his stomach, despite knowing that it’s not considered safe. You know why? It’s the only way he (and by extension, we) would actually f—king sleep.

You know what is statistically more likely to cause child death than sleeping on the stomach? That’s right, car crashes! You know what can contribute to the likelihood of that happening? Right again, chronically sleep deprived parents!

+1

I also did this when my children were young babies so that they would actually sleep.
And my children have not had any long-term issues arising from me doing so.

And I would never fire my nanny over something like this.
If I didn’t want my nanny putting my baby to sleep on their stomach then it would be entirely up to me to let her know this prior.
And no, it is not basic childcare knowledge to not do so.

Basic childcare knowledge is not feeding a young child a jawbreaker or allowing them to swim in a pool unsupervised.

If you never heard the "back to sleep" campaign you have been under a rock. How old are your "kids" exactly if you didn't know this?

DP. I had heard of it, but I decided to trust my own judgment and take a calculated (and extremely minuscule) risk in the interest of actually getting some GD sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

Ohhh, they are very brutal in the Nanny Forums.

So sorry.

I mean, I would also have fired a new nanny that thought it was a good idea to put my baby to sleep on his stomach and send me a picture of it.

Yes!

You would actually FIRE an otherwise good Nanny just because she put your child to sleep on his or her stomach??

This is outrageous! 😤
Unless you specifically instructed her not to do this -> this is not a fireable offense!!

You sound like a mentally unstable helicopter parent who would be much better off staying home w/your child vs. leaving them in the care of a nanny.

* I mean this with one-hundred percent respect by the way.

DP. I would 100% fire a nanny that put the baby to sleep on its stomach. This is basic childcare knowledge.

This is not a reason to fire a nanny on the spot.
A lot of parents put their babies in their crib/bassinet on their stomachs ….. it isn’t basic childcare knowledge.

I put all four of my babies to sleep on their stomachs and they have all been healthy, thriving kids -> adults.

I would fire a nanny who abused or neglected my child.
I.e., left him alone in the bathtub, fell asleep while child was unsupervised or drove them inside a car w/out a car seat, etc.

But not for putting my infant down on his stomach! ??

A nanny isn’t supposed to be clueless about safe sleep practices and basic childcare knowledge. You’re feeling defensive because you were.

DP.

I also put my baby to sleep on his stomach, despite knowing that it’s not considered safe. You know why? It’s the only way he (and by extension, we) would actually f—king sleep.

You know what is statistically more likely to cause child death than sleeping on the stomach? That’s right, car crashes! You know what can contribute to the likelihood of that happening? Right again, chronically sleep deprived parents!

+1

I also did this when my children were young babies so that they would actually sleep.
And my children have not had any long-term issues arising from me doing so.

And I would never fire my nanny over something like this.
If I didn’t want my nanny putting my baby to sleep on their stomach then it would be entirely up to me to let her know this prior.
And no, it is not basic childcare knowledge to not do so.

Basic childcare knowledge is not feeding a young child a jawbreaker or allowing them to swim in a pool unsupervised.

If you never heard the "back to sleep" campaign you have been under a rock. How old are your "kids" exactly if you didn't know this?

DP. I had heard of it, but I decided to trust my own judgment and take a calculated (and extremely minuscule) risk in the interest of actually getting some GD sleep.

DP, you do you, but it is not unreasonable for a parent to be concerned about a nanny putting their baby to sleep on their stomach. My kids are now teenagers and the “back to sleep” campaign was a constant refrain when my kids were infants. As a new parent I also would have fired a nanny for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone posted my DC’s name on a “name I hate” thread. It was obvs about my kid. I’ve never heard it before aside from grandparent. Though a few pages later someone posted, “I know this kid and s/he’s awesome,” so I was also grateful to a kind anonymous poster.

Couldn’t it have been about a different person with the same name? Even the most unique names often aren’t as unique as we tend to think…

Nope. It was my kid. I've only met one other person ever who said they knew someone by that name. It doesn't rank in the top 1000 of names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About 14 years ago I was nannying for 2 babies. I got let go after 3 weeks and I posted on here because I didn’t think the reason was a good one and wanted perspective. I got slammed by everyone.
(the 12week old was sleeping on his stomach, I was with him the whole time watching him, sent a pic to parents because it was cute, they said never put baby on stomach and I was let go. I do know that it’s not safe, but 2 babies was a lot, and I felt it was ok at the time because I stayed watching him)

It was a dumb decision on your part. Why would you even do that?

How is dumb if she was literally watching him? Explain what exactly you think could have happened.

I'll answer. Nobody actually thinks a nanny is staring at a sleeping baby for the duration of a nap.

Explain exactly what you think could have happened.

DP: SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)

[Anonymous]

Sure-fire infant and child-rearing practices have changed radically many times, even within my lifetime

Don’t ever re-use an old crib

Don’t prop bottles

Back sleeping. Side Sleeping. Tummy sleeping.

Don’t use crib bumpers or blankets or pillows or allow stuffies

Don’t feed peanut items to infants under a year

Breastfeeding is best / formula is best

Nannies don’t take care of your kids like moms

SIDS / crib deaths still happen no matter what care you give your infants

People used to believe that cats suffocate infants