Widower dating again & my adult children are not happy about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not remarry. Older women are just after your money. Just live together. Why would you talk about remarrying before you even date?? The only reason to marry is to have children.

If you were married for 51 years, don't you think your children deserve your former wife's savings? I can't imagine a widower giving his former wife of 51 year's lifetime savings to a new wife. You are disinheriting your kids when you don't need to. Just live together and enjoy a girlfriend.

I know so many older men who get remarried, pass away, and then their new wife gets 100% of everything. New wife's kids get everything when she passes away because new wife can change her will.

At the very least, get a prenup.

I don’t think a woman who is 20 years younger is going to be ok with shacking up. She prob wants a ring on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're determined to get remarried and you will. That's your priority.

You will leave your money to this second wife.

You want your kids to go along with these decisions.They don't.

You will have to live with your decisions. You will.

He doesn't sound like he has any money other than a little life insurance from his late wife's employer. Maybe the new woman is a nurse and a purse!

Yes. Either way, he's determined to remarry. I know of an older guy who was divorced, remarried and widowed and remarried in his 80s to his third wife! If you want to, you will. Lots of headaches for all the kids and stepkids is this guy's orbit. But he doesn't care! And that's the point. Why pretend that you do? You want your nurse and purse and your kids don't matter.

Similarly I knew someone who married within 6 months of his wife's passing. They were both in their 60s and it got messy really fast. He wanted an instant replacement wife and she was dazzled by his money and lovebombing. I felt so sad for the adult kids on both sides who had tried hard to slow down that train, but ultimately failed.

[Anonymous]

What's up with the 2nd kid? The OP says he has two kids (who were 34 and 39 when his wife died). Then he only talks about the daughter. Is the older kid a son? What is this child's opinion on everything?

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to remarry at 72? Are you afraid you'll die tomorrow and single? Take it slow and easy. You can live together with someone with out getting married (need to check the squatter laws first) or you can just visit each other. Let the 54 yo earn her own keep. Hope she has her own dwellings. Give your wife's life insurance money to the kids. Unless you're all poors and you need to give your wife's life insurance money to this 54 yo so that she'd sleep with you. You do realize that no normal 54 yo who has their own money would even look at you? I'm 53 and yuk. She obviously wants to get married fast to clean you up real quick after a house-sale and insurance money. Men really are stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to remarry at 72? Are you afraid you'll die tomorrow and single? Take it slow and easy. You can live together with someone with out getting married (need to check the squatter laws first) or you can just visit each other. Let the 54 yo earn her own keep. Hope she has her own dwellings. Give your wife's life insurance money to the kids. Unless you're all poors and you need to give your wife's life insurance money to this 54 yo so that she'd sleep with you. You do realize that no normal 54 yo who has their own money would even look at you? I'm 53 and yuk. She obviously wants to get married fast to clean you up real quick after a house-sale and insurance money. Men really are stupid.

And someone has finally stated the obvious. A 54-year-old woman has no interest in a 72-year-old man beyond money. Does anyone on this board, other than the OP, disagree? OP, do you also know this to be true and are okay with it?

[Anonymous]

If this is real then this is so convoluted. OP, often times in life it's not about the thing itself but how that "thing" is actually done. I as a woman don't understand how you are over your wife of 51 years in just 1 year, your children are not ready to replace their mom with your girlfriend or even a potential wife. You are such a jacka$$!

Also, do you not want to protect your chidren's inheritance? What's wrong with men like you? You are willing to give away 50% of your assets to someone you met 3 months ago over your own flesh and blood? You are a terrible example of a husband and a father. I hope your kids leave you alone to rot with wife#2. What a POS.

[Anonymous]

Men need a mommy. They always remarry quickly. Just tell your daughter you are doing what all Boomer widowers do. Not that deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not remarry. Older women are just after your money. Just live together. Why would you talk about remarrying before you even date?? The only reason to marry is to have children.

If you were married for 51 years, don't you think your children deserve your former wife's savings? I can't imagine a widower giving his former wife of 51 year's lifetime savings to a new wife. You are disinheriting your kids when you don't need to. Just live together and enjoy a girlfriend.

I know so many older men who get remarried, pass away, and then their new wife gets 100% of everything. New wife's kids get everything when she passes away because new wife can change her will.

At the very least, get a prenup.

I don’t think a woman who is 20 years younger is going to be ok with shacking up. She prob wants a ring on it.

LOL a ring, no she wants the will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men need a mommy. They always remarry quickly. Just tell your daughter you are doing what all Boomer widowers do. Not that deep.

Truth. If you actually have any money, put it in a trust. You don't even have to tell the new wifey about it or get a prenup if you do it right. This doesn't just protect your kids - it protects you, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is real then this is so convoluted. OP, often times in life it's not about the thing itself but how that "thing" is actually done. I as a woman don't understand how you are over your wife of 51 years in just 1 year, your children are not ready to replace their mom with your girlfriend or even a potential wife. You are such a jacka$$!

Also, do you not want to protect your chidren's inheritance? What's wrong with men like you? You are willing to give away 50% of your assets to someone you met 3 months ago over your own flesh and blood? You are a terrible example of a husband and a father. I hope your kids leave you alone to rot with wife#2. What a POS.

Not even a year 6 months.... SIX MONTHS he sad his daughter down to announce he was dating... then he is "serious" after THREE MONTHS.

lol A FOOL AND HIS MONEY ARE SOON PARTED.

[Anonymous]

Sounds made up. But you’re allowed to do what you want, OP… and reap what you sow.

[Anonymous]

Don't marry again. Or marry with your kids being well aware of your will. You should prioritize your kids over any new wife - prioritize them by a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's up with the 2nd kid? The OP says he has two kids (who were 34 and 39 when his wife died). Then he only talks about the daughter. Is the older kid a son? What is this child's opinion on everything?

My daughter lives with me - I told her I would need help financially after my wife passed so she moved in with me. My son, according to her, feels the same way. When I brought up wanting to find a mate on the one year anniversary gathering he got exasperated and said he didn’t want to hear about it, so I’m assuming my daughter is telling the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to remarry at 72? Are you afraid you'll die tomorrow and single? Take it slow and easy. You can live together with someone with out getting married (need to check the squatter laws first) or you can just visit each other. Let the 54 yo earn her own keep. Hope she has her own dwellings. Give your wife's life insurance money to the kids. Unless you're all poors and you need to give your wife's life insurance money to this 54 yo so that she'd sleep with you. You do realize that no normal 54 yo who has their own money would even look at you? I'm 53 and yuk. She obviously wants to get married fast to clean you up real quick after a house-sale and insurance money. Men really are stupid.

And someone has finally stated the obvious. A 54-year-old woman has no interest in a 72-year-old man beyond money. Does anyone on this board, other than the OP, disagree? OP, do you also know this to be true and are okay with it?

She has two kids and is divorced. Her oldest is 34, so our kids aren’t far apart in age. We both are deep into the church (she’s studying to become a minister). Get kids are happy for her, which I told my daughter in hopes she’d feel the same way. We have quite a bit in common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with the 2nd kid? The OP says he has two kids (who were 34 and 39 when his wife died). Then he only talks about the daughter. Is the older kid a son? What is this child's opinion on everything?

My daughter lives with me - I told her I would need help financially after my wife passed so she moved in with me. My son, according to her, feels the same way. When I brought up wanting to find a mate on the one year anniversary gathering he got exasperated and said he didn’t want to hear about it, so I’m assuming my daughter is telling the truth.

Ok, so you're wanting your daughter to move out? Or live with your girlfriend?

It seems like you used your daughter temporarily and are now evicting her in favor of someone you barely know. No wonder she is upset. And I don't understand how you have any way to leave anyone any inheritance if you couldn't make it a year without your daughter to pay for things.

You weren't going to die alone by the way. If single, you'll die with your adult children as your next of kin. When you say you would die alone, you're telling your daughter she doesn't count.