Widower dating again & my adult children are not happy about it.

[Anonymous]

Do you Sir.

[Anonymous]

This is clearly a fake story.

Not even worth responding to, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to remarry at 72? Are you afraid you'll die tomorrow and single? Take it slow and easy. You can live together with someone with out getting married (need to check the squatter laws first) or you can just visit each other. Let the 54 yo earn her own keep. Hope she has her own dwellings. Give your wife's life insurance money to the kids. Unless you're all poors and you need to give your wife's life insurance money to this 54 yo so that she'd sleep with you. You do realize that no normal 54 yo who has their own money would even look at you? I'm 53 and yuk. She obviously wants to get married fast to clean you up real quick after a house-sale and insurance money. Men really are stupid.

And someone has finally stated the obvious. A 54-year-old woman has no interest in a 72-year-old man beyond money. Does anyone on this board, other than the OP, disagree? OP, do you also know this to be true and are okay with it?

I certainly can believe that this is often true, but I do have to push back a little bit because I’m 55 later this month and I recently saw a single man in his 70s reply to one of my posts on Facebook, I checked out his profile and considered sending a friend request with an eye toward friendship and maybe more. He is clearly very liberal (as am I) and close to his adult kids and into various hobbies that we share in common. I wouldn’t have any issues dating a man 20 years older than me because that much increases the likelihood that he’s finally emotionally matured - although OP rather proves the rule in this regard.

I ultimately decided not to reach out because in general I feel my life is better as a singleton than most of the coupled friends and acquaintances I know who even in middle age and beyond are dealing with much more drama than I have a taste for. But I think there are probably other women in their 50s who wouldn’t be averse to dating an older man and not because they’re in it for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not remarry. Older women are just after your money. Just live together. Why would you talk about remarrying before you even date?? The only reason to marry is to have children.

If you were married for 51 years, don't you think your children deserve your former wife's savings? I can't imagine a widower giving his former wife of 51 year's lifetime savings to a new wife. You are disinheriting your kids when you don't need to. Just live together and enjoy a girlfriend.

I know so many older men who get remarried, pass away, and then their new wife gets 100% of everything. New wife's kids get everything when she passes away because new wife can change her will.

At the very least, get a prenup.

This. It's sick.

[Anonymous]

So I 10000% guarantee that no single 54 year old woman is attracted to a single 72 year man. She is either lonely, looking for money or probably both.

[Anonymous]

You are either a troll or an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is clearly a fake story.

Not even worth responding to, IMO.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I 10000% guarantee that no single 54 year old woman is attracted to a single 72 year man. She is either lonely, looking for money or probably both.

This is not an age gap issue. No one with children should be remarrying at 72. It's orety much giving away your children's inheritance to a stranger.

[Anonymous]

You need to respect her

You need to be pleasant

You are one of those types that always held something over your kids heads.

if you don't do what i want you will be out of the will

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you real or a troll?

If you are real, you are completely disregarding the feelings of your children. Your wife only died around a year ago. They are not ready to move on. You are.

You are being a real jerk by escalating the situation when you ask, "Do you want me to die alone?" No, they are not telling you to die alone. They are telling you they are not ready to meet someone yet. They can't grieve on your accelerated timeline.

And you definitely should make sure you have a trust to have at least some of your money go to your children because some of that money belonged to your dead wife.

Have some compassion, man.

OP told his kids not even 6 months after their mom died he was going to get remarried again. Thats a weird thing to obsess about and proclaim to your kids so soon after the death of the person you’ve been with 50+ years.

[Anonymous]

I took a year to get over a 5 year relationship before dating. 3 months? Yikes.

[Anonymous]

"She didn’t leave everything to me because my wife didn’t know she had anything to leave. She was still working (long term substitute) and didn’t know her school automatically took out life insurance. We thought she had passed with nothing. Months later after she died we were notified that she had life insurance."

This should make it clear to everyone that OP is very unsophisticated when it comes to money. He thinks that his wife had nothing to leave to her heirs other than the life insurance policy from work. He doesn't understand that his wife owned half of everything they built during their 50+ years of marriage and could have gifted that to her children upon her death. She owned half of his pension. Half of the house. Half of any accounts, savings, and investments they shared. He also said something odd about leaving his Social Security to the potential second wife. While it's true that she'd get to draw on his SS as a widower, she'd have to wait till she's 67 to get 100% of it. If she draws sooner than that, she'll forego a substantial percentage of it. However, she will get that SS check whether he "gives" it to her or not. Every spouse gets to draw on their deceased former spouse's account when s/he dies whether the dead person likes it or not. I know someone with two ex-wives. He is estranged from both of them and neither of the ex wives worked while they were married. After their divorces, both ex wives lived off alimony and the assets they got in the settlements, so they never paid in enough to SS to have much to draw on from their own account. One is about 7 years older than him and she's already collecting on his SS even though he isn't yet 67 nor is he retired. Eventually, both of the former wives will be drawing on his account at the same time. Then he'll also draw on it once he retires. Social Security will be paying 3 individuals in 3 different households based on the work that he did throughout his lifetime. It's a ridiculous system that is based off a world that no longer exists in which women don't work and have to depend on their husband's for every penny, even after they divorce. IMHO adults should only collect on their own work history and on what they themselves paid into the system. Those SAH wives have their husband's assets to keep them from poverty. They shouldn't also suck our tax dollars out of the system on top of that. People here always argue that having one spouse SAH is a choice that couples get to make, and I agree with that. But they shouldn't be shielded from the financial consequences of those choices by us taxpayers, especially since the only people who can afford to have one spouse not earn $$$ are those who with high assets or a spouse with a high salary. Those are the last households we need to be subsidizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to remarry at 72? Are you afraid you'll die tomorrow and single? Take it slow and easy. You can live together with someone with out getting married (need to check the squatter laws first) or you can just visit each other. Let the 54 yo earn her own keep. Hope she has her own dwellings. Give your wife's life insurance money to the kids. Unless you're all poors and you need to give your wife's life insurance money to this 54 yo so that she'd sleep with you. You do realize that no normal 54 yo who has their own money would even look at you? I'm 53 and yuk. She obviously wants to get married fast to clean you up real quick after a house-sale and insurance money. Men really are stupid.

And someone has finally stated the obvious. A 54-year-old woman has no interest in a 72-year-old man beyond money. Does anyone on this board, other than the OP, disagree? OP, do you also know this to be true and are okay with it?

I certainly can believe that this is often true, but I do have to push back a little bit because I’m 55 later this month and I recently saw a single man in his 70s reply to one of my posts on Facebook, I checked out his profile and considered sending a friend request with an eye toward friendship and maybe more. He is clearly very liberal (as am I) and close to his adult kids and into various hobbies that we share in common. I wouldn’t have any issues dating a man 20 years older than me because that much increases the likelihood that he’s finally emotionally matured - although OP rather proves the rule in this regard.

I ultimately decided not to reach out because in general I feel my life is better as a singleton than most of the coupled friends and acquaintances I know who even in middle age and beyond are dealing with much more drama than I have a taste for. But I think there are probably other women in their 50s who wouldn’t be averse to dating an older man and not because they’re in it for money.

Men do not "mature" in older age in a positive way. Some workaholics might mellow and be less stressed due to retirement, but that's about it. There are more issues that come with age like getting demanding, set in their ways, health issues...

[Anonymous]

This thread is making me feel better about being worried about my widowed 70 year old dad marrying someone else to resolve his “loneliness issue” (even though we are local and he seems to spend less time with us since Mom died!) and this person taking his substantial inheritance. He already had one trashy 52 year old come out of the woodwork to try for a relationship. Luckily he realized she was trashy and looking for someone to rescue her. I felt selfish worrying about someone taking what my mom had saved her entire life.

[Anonymous]

Such a typical msn. He asked his daughters to clear out his wife’s belongings. What an ahole. He deserves to die alone.