Widower dating again & my adult children are not happy about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with the 2nd kid? The OP says he has two kids (who were 34 and 39 when his wife died). Then he only talks about the daughter. Is the older kid a son? What is this child's opinion on everything?

My daughter lives with me - I told her I would need help financially after my wife passed so she moved in with me. My son, according to her, feels the same way. When I brought up wanting to find a mate on the one year anniversary gathering he got exasperated and said he didn’t want to hear about it, so I’m assuming my daughter is telling the truth.

At least you are finally setting your daughter free from the burden she never should have had of supporting you! Stop taking your daughter's money and getting in the way of her living her own life.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a troll. Remember a few months ago it was a daughter posting that she moved in with her father after her mom passed away, bla bla bla....and he wanted to remarry, but it was all too soon for her? I think this is the same troll now posting as the father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're determined to get remarried and you will. That's your priority.

You will leave your money to this second wife.

You want your kids to go along with these decisions.They don't.

You will have to live with your decisions. You will.

He doesn't sound like he has any money other than a little life insurance from his late wife's employer. Maybe the new woman is a nurse and a purse!

This. I’ve seen it time and again. We should be feeling sorry for the hapless woman he marries. She’s taking long term care off of his daughter’s plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with the 2nd kid? The OP says he has two kids (who were 34 and 39 when his wife died). Then he only talks about the daughter. Is the older kid a son? What is this child's opinion on everything?

My daughter lives with me - I told her I would need help financially after my wife passed so she moved in with me. My son, according to her, feels the same way. When I brought up wanting to find a mate on the one year anniversary gathering he got exasperated and said he didn’t want to hear about it, so I’m assuming my daughter is telling the truth.

Ok, so you're wanting your daughter to move out? Or live with your girlfriend?

It seems like you used your daughter temporarily and are now evicting her in favor of someone you barely know. No wonder she is upset. And I don't understand how you have any way to leave anyone any inheritance if you couldn't make it a year without your daughter to pay for things.

You weren't going to die alone by the way. If single, you'll die with your adult children as your next of kin. When you say you would die alone, you're telling your daughter she doesn't count.

His daughter doesn't count in his eyes. That is so obvious. He told his daughter to move and used her to pay his bills, and now he's talking about selling the family home and making her homeless. Regardless, the best thing that can happen to his daughter is for him to get out of her way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with the 2nd kid? The OP says he has two kids (who were 34 and 39 when his wife died). Then he only talks about the daughter. Is the older kid a son? What is this child's opinion on everything?

My daughter lives with me - I told her I would need help financially after my wife passed so she moved in with me. My son, according to her, feels the same way. When I brought up wanting to find a mate on the one year anniversary gathering he got exasperated and said he didn’t want to hear about it, so I’m assuming my daughter is telling the truth.

Ok, so you're wanting your daughter to move out? Or live with your girlfriend?

It seems like you used your daughter temporarily and are now evicting her in favor of someone you barely know. No wonder she is upset. And I don't understand how you have any way to leave anyone any inheritance if you couldn't make it a year without your daughter to pay for things.

You weren't going to die alone by the way. If single, you'll die with your adult children as your next of kin. When you say you would die alone, you're telling your daughter she doesn't count.

You must’ve missed the part when he told he was going to move states away because he has “no ties here”. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a troll. Remember a few months ago it was a daughter posting that she moved in with her father after her mom passed away, bla bla bla....and he wanted to remarry, but it was all too soon for her? I think this is the same troll now posting as the father.

Okay, then, daughter, move on with your life already. The path forward does not include an ongoing relationship or financial entanglement with your father. He's no longer your burden. Get a life of your own.

[Anonymous]

If OP is not a troll, they will wind up dying alone if they continue down this path of MUST.REMARRY! Because new wife gonna take him to closest nursing home and drop him off and kids won’t visit because of OP’s behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to remarry at 72? Are you afraid you'll die tomorrow and single? Take it slow and easy. You can live together with someone with out getting married (need to check the squatter laws first) or you can just visit each other. Let the 54 yo earn her own keep. Hope she has her own dwellings. Give your wife's life insurance money to the kids. Unless you're all poors and you need to give your wife's life insurance money to this 54 yo so that she'd sleep with you. You do realize that no normal 54 yo who has their own money would even look at you? I'm 53 and yuk. She obviously wants to get married fast to clean you up real quick after a house-sale and insurance money. Men really are stupid.

And someone has finally stated the obvious. A 54-year-old woman has no interest in a 72-year-old man beyond money. Does anyone on this board, other than the OP, disagree? OP, do you also know this to be true and are okay with it?

She has two kids and is divorced. Her oldest is 34, so our kids aren’t far apart in age. We both are deep into the church (she’s studying to become a minister). Get kids are happy for her, which I told my daughter in hopes she’d feel the same way. We have quite a bit in common.

Good God, the story just gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, they will wind up dying alone if they continue down this path of MUST.REMARRY! Because new wife gonna take him to closest nursing home and drop him off and kids won’t visit because of OP’s behavior.

Only if they take Medicaid.

[Anonymous]

He's the type of man who doesn't know how to take care of himself so he needs to find a woman to do it. I feel bad for your daughter. She is still grieving and you are selling out her inheritance to the highest bidder. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's the type of man who doesn't know how to take care of himself so he needs to find a woman to do it. I feel bad for your daughter. She is still grieving and you are selling out her inheritance to the highest bidder. Gross.

It's way worse than that. He used his daughter to help him pay his bills, and now that he's done using her, he's selling their home that she lives in with him (at his request). Daughter keeps posting here because she knows she's in a bad spot, but it sounds like she's stuck in analysis paralysis. I would recommend not paying any more bills and saving as much money as she can so she can move out and rebuild her life. And when he needs help again someday, no is a complete answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to remarry at 72? Are you afraid you'll die tomorrow and single? Take it slow and easy. You can live together with someone with out getting married (need to check the squatter laws first) or you can just visit each other. Let the 54 yo earn her own keep. Hope she has her own dwellings. Give your wife's life insurance money to the kids. Unless you're all poors and you need to give your wife's life insurance money to this 54 yo so that she'd sleep with you. You do realize that no normal 54 yo who has their own money would even look at you? I'm 53 and yuk. She obviously wants to get married fast to clean you up real quick after a house-sale and insurance money. Men really are stupid.

And someone has finally stated the obvious. A 54-year-old woman has no interest in a 72-year-old man beyond money. Does anyone on this board, other than the OP, disagree? OP, do you also know this to be true and are okay with it?

She has two kids and is divorced. Her oldest is 34, so our kids aren’t far apart in age. We both are deep into the church (she’s studying to become a minister). Get kids are happy for her, which I told my daughter in hopes she’d feel the same way. We have quite a bit in common.

I think you’re a troll too but if you can’t see why her kids would feel differently about their divorced mother finding a partner than your kids who literally lost their mother barely a year ago, you’ve got bigger issues. It’s not remotely the same situation.

[Anonymous]

I hope your daughter is consulting a lawyer regarding whether or not you can force her out of her home. She will certainly have tenancy rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 72. My kids are 35 and 39. I was with my wife for 51 years, and she unexpectedly passed in August 2024.

I told my daughter (34 at the time) in February that I wanted to date, maybe get remarried. She said “mom has been gone only 6 months. I personally think it’s too soon but it’s your life, so do what you want. All I ask is that you don’t talk about your dating life with me because it’s too hard and too soon for me right now”.

I had my daughter and my wife’s sister clear out my wife things in September because I told them it’s time to move on. I told her that I was going to put the house up for sale and that I had no ties here anymore so I plan on moving states away. I reiterated that I wanted to get married again and that if I do, I’ll change my will to include my new wife but that she and her brother will be taken care of.

Fast forward to this day, I asked her to sit down for a chat. I told her that I’m dating someone, have been for 3 months, she’s special to me, and that she needs to respect her. She asked me what I meant. I told her that when she comes around she needs to be pleasant because my girlfriend is terrified of meeting you and your brother (I’m not sure why. I told my girlfriend that my children are not mean). To which my daughter replied that I can do what I want but she’s not ready to meet her. I told her that was rude. She said her not being ready for something and expressing her boundary isn’t rude. I told her I was going to call her brother. She said she knows he’ll feel the exact same way. I told her that this was a defense mechanism and that this will hurt my girlfriend’s feelings. She then told me that if she’s a decent person she will understand and she’ll be fine.

So, I turned to her and asked, “Are you telling me not date anyone and die alone? Should I just pick out a plot in the backyard?”. She said that she never said not to date but that she just isn’t ready and I’m not going to make her feel guilty for not feeling ready. I told her she should feel guilty. She got of her chair, looked at me and said, “Wxcuse me? What an awful thing to say”. She then left.

It’s as if my kids want me to die alone? I told them no one will replace their mother but they don’t seem to get that. Instead, they just seem like brats when it comes to this. What do I do?

Get over yourself, respect your children and enjoy your new woman. That’s what you do. You’re the one behaving like a brat.

[Anonymous]

I hope this is fake. My dad wasn't widdowed but had affairs that my mom divorced him older and he put his girlfriends before us and it destroyed our relationship. All they wanted was his money, which they got.