Why are some parents so cold and unfriendly?

[Anonymous]

I think also some people are bad at chit chat. Both my husband and I work in fields where we have to show up at receptions or conferences and mix and mingle. You get better at it the more you practice, and the positive feedback just encourages you to do it more. Some people just have desk jobs where they do not have to mix and mingle and it shows.

[Anonymous]

That’s what I want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

How terrible. Imagine living with this attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I've got nothing left. I spent all day having to talk to people.
2. I'm not there to chat with you. You are from the South or Midwest and think you're being friendly. I'm from NY and think you're like an annoying gnat - inconsequential and irrelevant. I'm there to see my kid, meet with teachers, etc.

Serious question. Do you have a good career and are you thin? I say this because I’ve never met someone like you who is actually successful and attractive. You may say it’s because you’re from NY but I don’t believe you. I think you’re unfriendly because you’re miserable.

[Anonymous]

I'm probably like that. I have always been an introvert but so much more so since Covid. Or maybe I just sort of find it pointless? I HATE making small talk, find it pointless unless theres some underlying information being shared. Nothing about you, though.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t noticed this at all. I know our school has some parent cliques but I haven’t met people that outright refuse to talk.

[Anonymous]

My ex would have given me hard time after seeing me talk to someone too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In this area, it’s all snobbery. They’ve looked you up in the directory beforehand, don’t recognize you from their club and therefore know you’re not someone they need to know. Wise not to give any accidentally friendly signals. And they ideally don’t want their kids being friendly with yours.

That explains why my socials get hit like a ping pong ball right before school starts…do I get any points for leaving old Zillow photos up?…just so you can ask “where do you live?”

[Anonymous]

Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the DC area. People here don’t have basic social intelligence. It’s one of the things that make daily interactions here so unpleasant. As if saying hello or chatting for 2 minutes while at your kid’s school is just SO annoying and taxing that you can’t even bring yourself to do it. No one is trying to be your BFF or social climb by asking how your kid likes their teacher. So I’ll continue saying hi when I see you and I’ll comment on the traffic or whatever while we’re standing next to each other at the game this weekend watching our kids play on the same team because I like a world where people exchange pleasantries.

It’s this. Truly successful people are outgoing and engaging. Your typical CEO, elected official, senior person in a company etc would not act like this. Your average DC government worker / cog in the wheel will.

I grew up in a wealthy successful family and it was drilled into me to make eye contact, never snub someone, engage etc. One big rule is to never let someone know if you dislike them. Everyone should think you like them.

Whenever people act like you describe you should just assume they weren’t raised better. They likely didn’t have successful parents and/or aren’t successful themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

Your metro reference clues me in that you’re not successful. You don’t understand the social rules of successful people, which are that you should not act standoffish, snobby or uninterested in someone. You never know who someone is or who someone knows. Turning up your nose at someone like OP describes could affect your own success which is why you don’t act like that. Act like that and you’ll find yourself riding the DC metro or your kids doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the DC area. People here don’t have basic social intelligence. It’s one of the things that make daily interactions here so unpleasant. As if saying hello or chatting for 2 minutes while at your kid’s school is just SO annoying and taxing that you can’t even bring yourself to do it. No one is trying to be your BFF or social climb by asking how your kid likes their teacher. So I’ll continue saying hi when I see you and I’ll comment on the traffic or whatever while we’re standing next to each other at the game this weekend watching our kids play on the same team because I like a world where people exchange pleasantries.

It’s this. Truly successful people are outgoing and engaging. Your typical CEO, elected official, senior person in a company etc would not act like this. Your average DC government worker / cog in the wheel will.

I grew up in a wealthy successful family and it was drilled into me to make eye contact, never snub someone, engage etc. One big rule is to never let someone know if you dislike them. Everyone should think you like them.

Whenever people act like you describe you should just assume they weren’t raised better. They likely didn’t have successful parents and/or aren’t successful themselves.

This. I did not grow up wealthy but I grew up being taught all these same things. It has nothing to do with being introverted or extroverted. It’s basic manners and either you have them or you don’t. If you act “too good” to talk to someone politely then you are “putting on airs” as my grandma would say.

And the NY comment cracked me up because my DH is from NY and has never met a stranger. Could (and does!) talk to literally anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

Your metro reference clues me in that you’re not successful. You don’t understand the social rules of successful people, which are that you should not act standoffish, snobby or uninterested in someone. You never know who someone is or who someone knows. Turning up your nose at someone like OP describes could affect your own success which is why you don’t act like that. Act like that and you’ll find yourself riding the DC metro or your kids doing so.

You’re funny. And you’re exactly who I’m talking about. You’re basically saying since you’re such a striver that it’s important that you be fake nice to everybody because you never knowiwhat awesome “connection” you can make to have a “successful” life.

Some of us don’t feel that way, like, ever. We have different definitions of success. And by the way, I have a very successful, professional and personal life thank you very much.i

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the DC area. People here don’t have basic social intelligence. It’s one of the things that make daily interactions here so unpleasant. As if saying hello or chatting for 2 minutes while at your kid’s school is just SO annoying and taxing that you can’t even bring yourself to do it. No one is trying to be your BFF or social climb by asking how your kid likes their teacher. So I’ll continue saying hi when I see you and I’ll comment on the traffic or whatever while we’re standing next to each other at the game this weekend watching our kids play on the same team because I like a world where people exchange pleasantries.

It’s this. Truly successful people are outgoing and engaging. Your typical CEO, elected official, senior person in a company etc would not act like this. Your average DC government worker / cog in the wheel will.

I grew up in a wealthy successful family and it was drilled into me to make eye contact, never snub someone, engage etc. One big rule is to never let someone know if you dislike them. Everyone should think you like them.

Whenever people act like you describe you should just assume they weren’t raised better. They likely didn’t have successful parents and/or aren’t successful themselves.

Or people used never have to work in their lives like you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all just wanna form your social lives from your kids, your kids’ schools and the friends of your kids’ parents.

It’s not gonna work. Life can be long, and the school years for your kids are fleeting. You need to make your own friends and forge your own lives, and the way to do that is to stop obsessing over money, work and achievements and start living real lives instead of living through your kids.

Maybe the parents who ignore you at school functions are doing that. To them, you’re no different than a stranger on the metro.

Your metro reference clues me in that you’re not successful. You don’t understand the social rules of successful people, which are that you should not act standoffish, snobby or uninterested in someone. You never know who someone is or who someone knows. Turning up your nose at someone like OP describes could affect your own success which is why you don’t act like that. Act like that and you’ll find yourself riding the DC metro or your kids doing so.

So only unsuccessful people ride the metro? Ok