How do you approach dating when you are broke?

[Anonymous]

I hate the way so many people pick on OP. OP, you are right that some women won't date a guy who doesn't have money, but many women would love to meet a reliable, nice looking regular guy and would be happy doing free and inexpensive activities. Stand up straight and give it a shot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where did people get the idea that OP doesn’t see his kids?

He lives in a one bedroom apartment on the seedy side of town yet boasts about how well his children are taken care of by him paying extra child support.

He hasn't mentioned otherwise, but it seems pretty obvious.

[Anonymous]

Why are you sending the extra money?

[Anonymous]

Money doesn’t matter if you’re good looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You being broke is not the issue. All of your baggage is an issue. You are 46 years old, you have a failed marriage, you don’t have your kids full time, you live in an apartment, you don’t make a lot of money. What part of that are you a catch for a woman in her 40’s?

OP here. I totally agree with you. I don't necessarily consider my career to have been a total failure. In this economy I am thankful to have a job where I make $210k. For some of you it's nothing I get it.

Yes you kid of stated the obvious ain't no catch i am not acting like one. I am just venting chill a bit.

Making $210k is not broke. I am dating someone who makes about $45k and he is broke. Lives in a studio and no car. But, I am older than you, not looking to get married or mingle finances. He is kind and makes me laugh and good in bed.He takes care of my car and helps fix stuff around my house. I make less than you but way more than him. Sometimes I wish he could afford trips, etc, but I would rather date a kind man than a rich one. Finding someone who is both past 50 is impossible, or if you do, they want to date multiple women because they can.

[Anonymous]

I know quite a few professional thwomen who say exactly what PP just said. They don't get taken out to fancy dinners but they get a lot of acts of service from nice looking men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know quite a few professional thwomen who say exactly what PP just said. They don't get taken out to fancy dinners but they get a lot of acts of service from nice looking men.

I would never respect a man who makes $45k. I was making double that amount one year after college and that was 20 years ago.
I would think they are incapable and have no purpose in life. I don’t need acts of service - there are qualified contractors to fix things around the house. I don’t need to spread out for that. And would rather spend my valuable time on seeking an eligible partner while I’m using toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know quite a few professional thwomen who say exactly what PP just said. They don't get taken out to fancy dinners but they get a lot of acts of service from nice looking men.

I would never respect a man who makes $45k. I was making double that amount one year after college and that was 20 years ago.
I would think they are incapable and have no purpose in life. I don’t need acts of service - there are qualified contractors to fix things around the house. I don’t need to spread out for that. And would rather spend my valuable time on seeking an eligible partner while I’m using toys.

Maybe their purpose is something other than making money or sitting in an office all day. Maybe the women's love language is acts of service. What do you seek out a man for? Compliments (words of affirmations) or probably gifts.

[Anonymous]

There are so many great date ideas that don't require spending a lot of money. You can pack a picnic and attend a free concert, go for a hike, go kayaking. Dating doesn't have to be expensive, and I believe that plenty of women who would consider dating OP wouldn't have a problem with his limited budget for dates. However, they may be sensitive to signs that he is seeking a "sugar mama" or wants a woman to support him financially while he supports his ex-wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few things stand out as problematic with your post. 1. You are either incapable of writing well or incapable or proofreading or both. Additionally, your word choice is very immature. These factors I dictate that you are not very smart. I know this is an online forum but I suspect it is par for the course with you. 2. You sound bitter and immature in general.
These are going to hold you back far more than being broke.

OP, I’m sorry, but I have to agree. Take a year off dating to get your weight and mental health fixed. Accrue some savings. Get snipped. If you can’t afford the kids you have, you don’t want a younger girlfriend getting pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You being broke is not the issue. All of your baggage is an issue. You are 46 years old, you have a failed marriage, you don’t have your kids full time, you live in an apartment, you don’t make a lot of money. What part of that are you a catch for a woman in her 40’s?

OP here. I totally agree with you. I don't necessarily consider my career to have been a total failure. In this economy I am thankful to have a job where I make $210k. For some of you it's nothing I get it.

Yes you kid of stated the obvious ain't no catch i am not acting like one. I am just venting chill a bit.

So you are not broke, just dramatic.

Let's say half of your pre tax goes to child care and alimony. So you 110K in pre tax income left. You can afford to date and live well on that. Just don't date a broke woman. Date a 50 year old who is absolutely done having kids and makes 100k too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know quite a few professional thwomen who say exactly what PP just said. They don't get taken out to fancy dinners but they get a lot of acts of service from nice looking men.

I would never respect a man who makes $45k. I was making double that amount one year after college and that was 20 years ago.
I would think they are incapable and have no purpose in life. I don’t need acts of service - there are qualified contractors to fix things around the house. I don’t need to spread out for that. And would rather spend my valuable time on seeking an eligible partner while I’m using toys.

Do you want a standing ovation? That's your choice. I bet you will respect a CEO who makes million by coming up with ways to screw people out of health insurance benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You being broke is not the issue. All of your baggage is an issue. You are 46 years old, you have a failed marriage, you don’t have your kids full time, you live in an apartment, you don’t make a lot of money. What part of that are you a catch for a woman in her 40’s?

So mean! Are you implying having his kids full time would make him MORE of a catch?

Having some kind of custody of his kids, living in an apartment his kids could stay in, and having some kind of self-respect would make him MORE of a catch.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You being broke is not the issue. All of your baggage is an issue. You are 46 years old, you have a failed marriage, you don’t have your kids full time, you live in an apartment, you don’t make a lot of money. What part of that are you a catch for a woman in her 40’s?

OP here. I totally agree with you. I don't necessarily consider my career to have been a total failure. In this economy I am thankful to have a job where I make $210k. For some of you it's nothing I get it.

Yes you kid of stated the obvious ain't no catch i am not acting like one. I am just venting chill a bit.

So you are not broke, just dramatic.

Let's say half of your pre tax goes to child care and alimony. So you 110K in pre tax income left. You can afford to date and live well on that. Just don't date a broke woman. Date a 50 year old who is absolutely done having kids and makes 100k too.

I bet he wants to date 30 yo not a 50 yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:-If you are overweight, even at all, lose weight. Get your weight down to BMI 24 at the highest.

-Are you in DC? There are tons of free things to do in DC. The Smithsonian is your friend. Free events at embassies, etc.

-Why don't you have more custody of your kids? That would be a red flag for me.

Yep.

In this day and age, I'd assume any man without some custody abused his kids.