Why All The Striver Hate?

[Anonymous]

I’ll bite. Heres some examples of striver behavior:

Dating someone because their dad can get you an internship. Doing a helpful EC (such as starting a nonprofit) for the sake of college admissions. Dismissing/criticizing people who choose to go into low paying and less prestigious careers fields such as teaching.

Essentially, it’s the people so wrapped up in prestige and college admissions that they aren’t enjoyable to be around.

[Anonymous]

It’s often the result of immigrant asian parents who only see Engineering/Law/Medicine as acceptable careers. Try to tell these people you are studying the humanities and watch their reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, white people are not strivers. It is mainly used for asian gunners. That have immigrant parents that think only USNWR top 20 will do for college.

yes, this is how the word is defined on dcum - Asian immigrants who want to go to top schools, and get high paying jobs. How dare they strive for that.

White people who do the same aren't strivey. No. They are allowed to do this without being labeled because.... they are white, and white people should be the ones who control the wealth and status in this country as they always have. They look down on others who strive to reach the upper echelons.

Rich white people who send their kids to T10 aren't strivey. No. They were just born into it.

Asian immigrants who send their kids to T10 are strivey. They are obvious try hards. /s

So bitter, so wrong.

100% of the kids that my daughter and her friends view as “strivers” are white.

And my daughter is URM and most of her friends are of Indian or Vietnamese heritage.

Also, I'm not bitter because I'm not strivey, neither are my kids, and neither are my parents, who are immigrants.

My parents wanted a comfortable middle class life.

I wanted a comfortable UMC life, which I achieved by hard work and going to a regional B rated state school

My kids want the life we have - UMC and comfortable. They are going to large public state flagship.

But, I don't begrudge people for wanting to strive for T10. Rich, well connected people do it all the time, and no one labels them. Why label immigrants who have the same goals? Typically, the word is used against immigrants who are not white.

So, yes, it is classism and racism.

You don't know enough strivers to understand it's not about race.

oh, so then it's about class.

How do you think most people in the upper class go to where they are? Because most were strivey.

What makes one strivey, then?

If a LMC parent wants their kid to go to a T10 to be able to become UMC is that strivey? Most on DCUM think it's great to uplift LMC to UMC.

But if an UMC immigrant parent wants their kids to strive for a T10, that is strivey (negative connotation) because why? They are being uppity to try to get more?

If a rich person wants their kids to go to a T10 and uses family money or legacy, that's just normal, and "keeping it in the family", and "it creates a tight knit community feel in the college", ie, we don't want outside strivers.

Given that most Asian immigrants have no connections, family money, legacy in T10, how else are they supposed to help their kids get into a T10? Oh, they shouldn't.. they are being strivey, right?

Seems a bit racist to me.

It's not racist because it's not about race.

It's not really about class since people from all classes can be strivers.

You claim if you are wealthy you have must have been a striver at some point. That isn't true.

Some worked hard in construction and don't even have a degree, some were lucky and joined AOL as a nerdy teen and got stock options, some knew the right people and were handed jobs, some were born on 3rd base ... not all are strivy.

Someone is strivey if they lack conviction and will stab people in the back to get where they want to be, they are single minded with 1 goal to be in a position to make a lot of money and "be in the crowd" with those wealthy people.

A rich person going to a T10 school is not necessarily strivey, because you can't strive for something you already have.

Wealthy students don't ice out non wealthy students in college (strivers do though), they are literally there so the less wealthy can make connections and have someone help them financially with their start up. That is why colleges have legacy, and more than full pay admits. Why would you go to Harvard if there are no wealthy kids with dad's who will hire you or fund your start up.

Here is the thing... many kids get to T10 without being strivey, they are just talented.

If you want to get to T10 and you're not necessarily talented in anything (athlete/arts/activism/tech) and the only way to get there is to be strivey then be strivey, why do you care? Study your butt off for the SATs, ace them, do all the things that you hate but will look good on a resume. Nobody cares, but that is strivey.

Also, the % of strivers that actually get into T10 is low so many are not willing to do it because it destroy's the childhood of those that were strivers but were not accepted. The nice critics would just like you to know, that your kid can go to school, have fun, engage in activities they love... and go to JMU or Towson and be successful. BTW most Asians do this because their parents tried to turn them into strivers and they hated it.

But if you want T10 knock your socks off, be a striver.

BTW, the amount of wealthy kids that go to T10 is not as much as you think. In a family of 4 wealthy kids one is going T10 (maybe... but most likely Tufts), one is gonna try to save the world, one is going to go to a T40 and work in finance and one is going to overdose.

[Anonymous]

Examples of strivers:

Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Jensen Huang, Sundar Pichai, Elon Musk, Lisa Su, Jeff Bezos, Seve Jobs, Barak Obama, JD Vance, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s often the result of immigrant asian parents who only see Engineering/Law/Medicine as acceptable careers. Try to tell these people you are studying the humanities and watch their reaction.

It was best said by the person who coined the phrase "American Dream"

James Truslow Adams

But there has been also the American dream, that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for every man, with opportunity for each according to his ability or achievement. It is a difficult dream for the European upper classes to interpret adequately, and too many of us ourselves have grown weary and mistrustful of it. It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position.

Also, remember it's the American Dream not the American Promise.

[Anonymous]

I am pretty sure you don’t understand the term. The one you described is psychopath, not a striver.

Talk to your kids if they are at McLean or TJ. They see this type of behavior all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Examples of strivers:

Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Jensen Huang, Sundar Pichai, Elon Musk, Lisa Su, Jeff Bezos, Seve Jobs, Barak Obama, JD Vance, etc.

Those are only example of strivers who succeeded at what they strived for.

The list is much longer of strivers whose name you will never hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are these schools striver schools?
Johns Hopkins
Rice
Stern
Cornell.

Strivers are people not schools. I guess that there could be "striver schools" i.e. those obsessed over by stivers but Stern and Rice would not be among those schools. Ivies are "striver schools" because strivers (or Asian gunners as someone mentioned) are coveted because of their name and prestige, nothing in particular about any individual school really matters. Any kid who shotguns all 8 Ivies is likely a striver because those schools have nothing in common except prestige and an athletic conference. Same goes for kids who shotgun the T20 or obsess about Berkley, they are even worse in their desperate quest for prestige.

I am sure that there are many white "strivers" but my experience is that of the white upper class kids many go to top SLACs because they have little desire to be around "striver culture", or top publics if they really love engineering. They may apply to Ivies or other top schools but they don't obsess because they already have their brass ring, they are just polishing.

[Anonymous]

People label any kid at a T10-20 a striver on this board. So ridiculous

My sons are the furthest you get from “striver”. They naturally test very high and get As fairly easy even at a rigorous private,

They did very well in admissions and are doing great in college. They can’t stand the fratty/materialistic culture. They just do what they like and don’t keep up with the Joneses.

[Anonymous]

I have never, never heard the term applied to white people. Rich, white people don’t have to strive. They already have money, legacy at top colleges, connections, etc. If they go to Ole Miss or Auburn, who cares? Mom and Dad will get them an internship in the summer through their connections. It is usually about social mobility, so I guess it could be applied to white kids that are not UMC or are first gen? Maybe kids use it differently than adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strivers is code for URM, immigrant or FGLI. That is why UMC use the word. It is more polite.

What??? Not the way my teens use it. And at that there very diverse high school it is used much more to describe the white, high SES kids. It just means the kid who stress over the top about having the perfect grades, most extracurriculars, best recs, high test scores and spend all of high school focusing on that so that they get into that elite college. None of my kids wanted to go to a school full of stressed out people like that!

If you are not a striver you are an idiot. Those the two catagories of people. People use that word that they think means something else but it does not. You are either putting your all into everything or you are an idiot. Most people in the world are idiots --- harmless but idiots nonetheless.

[Anonymous]

^ they are at Ivies and we didn’t hire a counselor or “groom” them from a young age. College wasn’t really a priority until Junior year -spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never, never heard the term applied to white people. Rich, white people don’t have to strive. They already have money, legacy at top colleges, connections, etc. If they go to Ole Miss or Auburn, who cares? Mom and Dad will get them an internship in the summer through their connections. It is usually about social mobility, so I guess it could be applied to white kids that are not UMC or are first gen? Maybe kids use it differently than adults.

You do realize that there are not many rich white people around and ther are even less that have legacy at top colleges or connections to get internships. That just does not exist in large numbers except in the minds of fools that need some explanation for their failure to make things happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these schools striver schools?
Johns Hopkins
Rice
Stern
Cornell.

Strivers are people not schools. I guess that there could be "striver schools" i.e. those obsessed over by stivers but Stern and Rice would not be among those schools. Ivies are "striver schools" because strivers (or Asian gunners as someone mentioned) are coveted because of their name and prestige, nothing in particular about any individual school really matters. Any kid who shotguns all 8 Ivies is likely a striver because those schools have nothing in common except prestige and an athletic conference. Same goes for kids who shotgun the T20 or obsess about Berkley, they are even worse in their desperate quest for prestige.

I am sure that there are many white "strivers" but my experience is that of the white upper class kids many go to top SLACs because they have little desire to be around "striver culture", or top publics if they really love engineering. They may apply to Ivies or other top schools but they don't obsess because they already have their brass ring, they are just polishing.

What a nonsense observation. Plenty of top SLACs have “striver” culture as well as sizable Asian populations (who I guess are all strivers).

The wealthiest students are also the ones that most covet the “striver” jobs in banking, consulting, P/E.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these schools striver schools?
Johns Hopkins
Rice
Stern
Cornell.

Strivers are people not schools. I guess that there could be "striver schools" i.e. those obsessed over by stivers but Stern and Rice would not be among those schools. Ivies are "striver schools" because strivers (or Asian gunners as someone mentioned) are coveted because of their name and prestige, nothing in particular about any individual school really matters. Any kid who shotguns all 8 Ivies is likely a striver because those schools have nothing in common except prestige and an athletic conference. Same goes for kids who shotgun the T20 or obsess about Berkley, they are even worse in their desperate quest for prestige.

I am sure that there are many white "strivers" but my experience is that of the white upper class kids many go to top SLACs because they have little desire to be around "striver culture", or top publics if they really love engineering. They may apply to Ivies or other top schools but they don't obsess because they already have their brass ring, they are just polishing.

It’s “except for” not “except “.

And what brass ring do you have? Brats have not accomplished anything on their own, it’s all their parents’.