Why All The Striver Hate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Strivers is code for URM, immigrant or FGLI. That is why UMC use the word. It is more polite.

What??? Not the way my teens use it. And at that there very diverse high school it is used much more to describe the white, high SES kids. It just means the kid who stress over the top about having the perfect grades, most extracurriculars, best recs, high test scores and spend all of high school focusing on that so that they get into that elite college. None of my kids wanted to go to a school full of stressed out people like that!

Thats how its used at our private.
Weirdly the very top kids often don’t obsess about it as much as the ones trying to catch them, and they are the ones that more commonly go to ivies. ALL of them strive and have high goals though. Teachers announce high grades so that puts a bit of a target on top ones.
They all have to worry about grades and be conscious of their resume thats just how the process works now, for lots of schools not just elites. Some “strive hard” for uva in state. Once at college many different fields have grade-conscious kids: premeds prelaw prePhD. They all have to work hard and have a plan: most got there by caring a lot about outcomes and being highly involved and able to juggle a lot. No school in the top25ish has significantly less of the striver mindset. The level of ambition may be a little higher at the ivy types but make no mistake the majority of kids strive. The main parents at our school who use the term pejoratively have kids who have no chance at UVA or higher so they mock the 30% of the class that ends up at T25. Dcum is the same. The ones who call out strivers and see it as a brag to not aim for top schools do not have kids cut out for it. They do not understand that goal-oriented ambitious students absolutely thrive at ivy and other T25. There is nothing wrong with striving, and one can aim high and also be collaborative and supportive of classmates. That’s DC at the ivy: more collaborative than high school yet almost all would be described as strivers and it is not a negative there

[Anonymous]

What are good SLACs if I’d like to stay away from striver culture?

[Anonymous]

I have not seen one bit if strives hate. None.
I think this is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's also not how my kids use it - "striver" is not just high achieving, but high achieving at the expense of others. It's intend to convey that the culture/person is opportunistic, fake, cutthroat, and status-oriented to the exclusion of other values. Examples of "striver" behavior include befriending or dating people because they or their parents can hook you up with internships, clubs, or influential people. This is why kids are so cagey about where they are applying to college - at certain high schools, other students will call college admissions offices and spread disinformation about others in an effort to sabotage.

This. The term has taken on a different meaning amongst the youths and in the context of school/college competition than its traditional meaning. Words can change meaning over time. Not a huge deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The posts on this forum deride many colleges and the kids/families associated for being “striver” in vibe/character. While some of it is true (my kid is at a “striver” U), there’s a reason for that. When you’re the first generation (or person) in your family or community to aspire to a certain band of selective colleges, you’re less likely to have a social circle filled with LAC grads who majored in the humanities. (And no swipe at LAC’s- I attended one and majored in the humanities). I guess I’m seeing it from both sides of the fence…

I am fine with strivers - it just gets annoying when they put down other colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, now striver is a racist term. But a type of racism openly allowed on dcum.

It's white people talking about other white people.

Usually, yes.

Rich white people don't like MC or poor white people either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, now striver is a racist term. But a type of racism openly allowed on dcum.

It's white people talking about other white people.

Usually, yes.

Rich white people don't like MC or poor white people either.

It definitely has a strong racist connotation.

Here is how it typically goes (posts from this week):

"Emory is seen as the “fall back” or “consolation prize” for many kids who are wanting to attend an Ivy. "

"Emory struck me as very UMC immigrant/Northeast background/Ivy aspirant “striver-ish” "

"This is an accurate assessment. Emory has a lot of kids whose Asian immigrant parents want them to go to a top 20 school no matter what. It is filled with these type of striver kids."

[Anonymous]

The biggest striver I know is a blonde who tries to dress preppy and is obsessed with college and status.

I don’t view immigrants as strivers, they’re simply trying to move up the economic ladder.

“Strivers” are trying to unabashedly enmesh themselves in upper class social circles, which is quite different that immigrants who grind hard to make good money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, now striver is a racist term. But a type of racism openly allowed on dcum.

It's white people talking about other white people.

Usually, yes.

Rich white people don't like MC or poor white people either.

It definitely has a strong racist connotation.

Here is how it typically goes (posts from this week):

"Emory is seen as the “fall back” or “consolation prize” for many kids who are wanting to attend an Ivy. "

"Emory struck me as very UMC immigrant/Northeast background/Ivy aspirant “striver-ish” "

"This is an accurate assessment. Emory has a lot of kids whose Asian immigrant parents want them to go to a top 20 school no matter what. It is filled with these type of striver kids."

On dcum, no one calls ivy schools striver schools. No one. They typically refer to second tier schools having a large percentage of Asian students.

These Asian students have the stats for ivies, but are excluded from attending one, albeit still attending a really top school.

Dcum feels like these schools are striver schools. To quote, one poster said that [admitting a large number of Asians] "is really a shame. It’s a disservice to the school and to [other] kids who go there".

Believe me, the racist is blatant on dcum. These are just posts from this week. You want to turn a blind eye. Fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not seen one bit if strives hate. None.
I think this is a troll.

Maybe irl they hide it, but on this forum, there are people who hate on strivers, whatever that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's also not how my kids use it - "striver" is not just high achieving, but high achieving at the expense of others. It's intend to convey that the culture/person is opportunistic, fake, cutthroat, and status-oriented to the exclusion of other values. Examples of "striver" behavior include befriending or dating people because they or their parents can hook you up with internships, clubs, or influential people. This is why kids are so cagey about where they are applying to college - at certain high schools, other students will call college admissions offices and spread disinformation about others in an effort to sabotage.

This. The term has taken on a different meaning amongst the youths and in the context of school/college competition than its traditional meaning. Words can change meaning over time. Not a huge deal.

Too lazy to read every other page, but this is exactly how "gunner" was used in med school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are these schools striver schools?
Johns Hopkins
Rice
Stern
Cornell.

Strivers are people not schools. I guess that there could be "striver schools" i.e. those obsessed over by stivers but Stern and Rice would not be among those schools. Ivies are "striver schools" because strivers (or Asian gunners as someone mentioned) are coveted because of their name and prestige, nothing in particular about any individual school really matters. Any kid who shotguns all 8 Ivies is likely a striver because those schools have nothing in common except prestige and an athletic conference. Same goes for kids who shotgun the T20 or obsess about Berkley, they are even worse in their desperate quest for prestige.

I am sure that there are many white "strivers" but my experience is that of the white upper class kids many go to top SLACs because they have little desire to be around "striver culture", or top publics if they really love engineering. They may apply to Ivies or other top schools but they don't obsess because they already have their brass ring, they are just polishing.

It’s “except for” not “except “.

And what brass ring do you have? Brats have not accomplished anything on their own, it’s all their parents’.

My brass ring? I went to a SUNY and retired early with more than I can spend in my lifetime. I wasn't a striver, I went to a regional school because that is what my didn't graduate from high school parents could afford.

I'm just smarter than most and willing to work harder than most which is almost always a winning combination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, now striver is a racist term. But a type of racism openly allowed on dcum.

It's white people talking about other white people.

Usually, yes.

Rich white people don't like MC or poor white people either.

It definitely has a strong racist connotation.

Here is how it typically goes (posts from this week):

"Emory is seen as the “fall back” or “consolation prize” for many kids who are wanting to attend an Ivy. "

"Emory struck me as very UMC immigrant/Northeast background/Ivy aspirant “striver-ish” "

"This is an accurate assessment. Emory has a lot of kids whose Asian immigrant parents want them to go to a top 20 school no matter what. It is filled with these type of striver kids."

On dcum, no one calls ivy schools striver schools. No one. They typically refer to second tier schools having a large percentage of Asian students.

These Asian students have the stats for ivies, but are excluded from attending one, albeit still attending a really top school.

Dcum feels like these schools are striver schools. To quote, one poster said that [admitting a large number of Asians] "is really a shame. It’s a disservice to the school and to [other] kids who go there".

Believe me, the racist is blatant on dcum. These are just posts from this week. You want to turn a blind eye. Fine.

Do most kids not care about seeing really large numbers of Asians at a college? My kids all noticed it right away and commented on it. It was a fact they were noticing - - high asian population. They still applied to the schools. Is it okay if black people notice there are not very many black kids on campus but not okay for a white kid to notice the large numbers of Asians? Curious.

[Anonymous]

Surely this goes back at least a century, to the Oxbridge abhorrence of swotters and the desire to be seen as achieving enviable success while hardly putting in much effort. Hence the common life advice “make like a duck.” From the longer historical perspective it is more closely associated with classism than racism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people spewing the striver stuff are classist. Ignore them.

We live in a wealthy neighborhood and there definitely is a subset of snobby adult rich children who are very average/below average. I am sure these are the type of people who look down on people they call strivers. These rich adult kids are average looks, average academics, average everything and then marry someone just like them and then have average kids with rich grandparents who pay for their private schools. We are surrounded by these type of people.

They will be the future peasants as Darwinian pull continues unabated
( 1980- 2020 ) era has come to end …

I have a few friends who married into these families. The adult rich sons are basically given allowances. The rich grandmother has to die for the rich son’s dad to inherit and they likely won’t get real money until their parents die too. They act snobby, but they are controlled by their parents and grandparents even though they are adults themselves with children. Seems like an awful way to live.

Yes, and they are on financial aid at top colleges.