DD assaulted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

No you filed a report already.
You can’t file multiple reports for the same thing.

It doesn't sound like the report was ever filed. I think the SRO talked her out of it.

My daughter initially reported it to them and he kept telling her they would file it and see what happens next, I went to formally sign the paper work then he said no. They tormented her mentally.

Deal with one thing at a time OP. File the police report. Depending on who your SRO reports to, you can then make a complaint about the refusal of filing the report. Find your daughter a therapist. Those should be the 3 things to deal with now.

OP here - With filing the report, Will they get the video from the school or expect me to have it? Is video really the main evidence used in cases like this or can I file a report and charges without it (if it's lost or deleted) and get accountability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your dd? What is the reason the cops don't want to press charges? Have you considered going above the cops head to the DA?

That doesn’t make sense. Are you saying the cop wouldn’t write a report? Get a lawyer, file a police report. Only a prosecutor can keep you from pressing charges. They can decline to prosecute or strike a plea deal, but that’s different.

This is a question for the OP. OP, did the cops write a report and the DA refused the case? Can you explain further?

He let us file a police report and said that he needed a signature but when we came back for that he said he would not have probable cause.

but there is video!

this is bs

I wonder if the police officer or someone in the school district is family members with the boy

did they at least say he's not allowed to ride the bus anymore??

op, I know someone whose son engaged in consensual hooking up with his girlfriend. both the girlfriend and her parents agree it was consensual and have not pressed charges. the same thing happened a year ago and the school is making the boy go to an alternative school for the rest of the school year. both sets of parents were shown the video.

ask to see the video. subtly take out your camera and video it while they are showing it to you.

me again. the principal told the mom of the boy, "you are lucky the girl is insisting it is consensual because if not, there would be sexual assaults charges filed."

How old were the kids? This is why we are teaching our teen not to hook up and if it does happen to only do with older girl as then he can file report against the girl if there is a question of consent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

No you filed a report already.
You can’t file multiple reports for the same thing.

It doesn't sound like the report was ever filed. I think the SRO talked her out of it.

My daughter initially reported it to them and he kept telling her they would file it and see what happens next, I went to formally sign the paper work then he said no. They tormented her mentally.

Deal with one thing at a time OP. File the police report. Depending on who your SRO reports to, you can then make a complaint about the refusal of filing the report. Find your daughter a therapist. Those should be the 3 things to deal with now.

OP here - With filing the report, Will they get the video from the school or expect me to have it? Is video really the main evidence used in cases like this or can I file a report and charges without it (if it's lost or deleted) and get accountability.

They will get the video. There are steps you can take to get the video too and you should do that as well. You don't need the video to file the report. You don't need anything other than your daughter and her telling them what happened. They follow up on everything else. Unless there are witnesses, the video will be the main evidence.

[Anonymous]

Did you talk to the school title IX coordinator? I’m glad they suspended, but they should be doing a safety plan- which would include kicking the student off the bus or assigned seats.

And yes, the officer should be doing a police report. Go up the chain.

[Anonymous]

Sexually assaulted sounds like she was raped or physically held down in some manner. Without going into detail of course, can you explain what happened exactly? As in was this a case of a boy squeezing her ass or breast as she walked by? Grazing against her shirt? Or did he put his hand up her skirt? Were they alone on the bus? Ages ? In high school or younger? Same age? I feel like there are gaps in the story that make it hard to give advice other than speak with the principal first and then get a lawyer if you feel it is necessary. I am sorry whatever happened occurred as it clearly is upsetting (for you and your daughter) but I feel like there must be a reason they want the school to Handel it first before police get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your dd? What is the reason the cops don't want to press charges? Have you considered going above the cops head to the DA?

That doesn’t make sense. Are you saying the cop wouldn’t write a report? Get a lawyer, file a police report. Only a prosecutor can keep you from pressing charges. They can decline to prosecute or strike a plea deal, but that’s different.

This is a question for the OP. OP, did the cops write a report and the DA refused the case? Can you explain further?

He let us file a police report and said that he needed a signature but when we came back for that he said he would not have probable cause.

but there is video!

this is bs

I wonder if the police officer or someone in the school district is family members with the boy

did they at least say he's not allowed to ride the bus anymore??

op, I know someone whose son engaged in consensual hooking up with his girlfriend. both the girlfriend and her parents agree it was consensual and have not pressed charges. the same thing happened a year ago and the school is making the boy go to an alternative school for the rest of the school year. both sets of parents were shown the video.

ask to see the video. subtly take out your camera and video it while they are showing it to you.

me again. the principal told the mom of the boy, "you are lucky the girl is insisting it is consensual because if not, there would be sexual assaults charges filed."

How old were the kids? This is why we are teaching our teen not to hook up and if it does happen to only do with older girl as then he can file report against the girl if there is a question of consent.

Wow. Such a sad way to live in constant fear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexually assaulted sounds like she was raped or physically held down in some manner. Without going into detail of course, can you explain what happened exactly? As in was this a case of a boy squeezing her ass or breast as she walked by? Grazing against her shirt? Or did he put his hand up her skirt? Were they alone on the bus? Ages ? In high school or younger? Same age? I feel like there are gaps in the story that make it hard to give advice other than speak with the principal first and then get a lawyer if you feel it is necessary. I am sorry whatever happened occurred as it clearly is upsetting (for you and your daughter) but I feel like there must be a reason they want the school to Handel it first before police get involved.

Op already posted that it was a light tough to the thigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HS DD was touched inappropriately on the bus 1 month ago. The cops will not let us press any charges. It wasn't going to be a felony sex crime but a misdemeanor and he switched up and said no. The school says we cannot access the video due to FERPA but it's part of her education record. What are our options.

Wait till she turns 18 and starts hitting up clubs that let in under 21, she will be groped a thousand times a night.

If the boy bothers her again, just punch him in the snout, or a swift kick to the balls will do the trick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexually assaulted sounds like she was raped or physically held down in some manner. Without going into detail of course, can you explain what happened exactly? As in was this a case of a boy squeezing her ass or breast as she walked by? Grazing against her shirt? Or did he put his hand up her skirt? Were they alone on the bus? Ages ? In high school or younger? Same age? I feel like there are gaps in the story that make it hard to give advice other than speak with the principal first and then get a lawyer if you feel it is necessary. I am sorry whatever happened occurred as it clearly is upsetting (for you and your daughter) but I feel like there must be a reason they want the school to Handel it first before police get involved.

NP and two important things:

1) sexual assault is not just rape or being “held down”. It includes squeezing and groping and whatever else. OP, don’t let others minimize what happened.

2) in my experience, both school and police and SROs want to avoid a police report. School because it would may require them to deal with a lot of other reporting, include Title IX issues. Police because it’s a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

Yes, go to the police department in your town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

You want to press charged for sexual assault based on a light tough on the thigh for a few seconds? It doesn't sound like the cop was gaslighting you, but was giving you an assessment of the likely outcome.

I obviously haven't seen the video, but based on OP's description, this sounds like a major overreaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you talk to the school title IX coordinator? I’m glad they suspended, but they should be doing a safety plan- which would include kicking the student off the bus or assigned seats.

And yes, the officer should be doing a police report. Go up the chain.

Agree with contacting the title IX coordinator- depending on the school it may be a district-level position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

You want to press charged for sexual assault based on a light tough on the thigh for a few seconds? It doesn't sound like the cop was gaslighting you, but was giving you an assessment of the likely outcome.

I obviously haven't seen the video, but based on OP's description, this sounds like a major overreaction.

I'm the PP who had posted about being groped and no charges coming from it. I agree that's probably why the SRO talked OP out of a report. BUT he still should have followed through with one. It doesn't matter that he thought the outcome would be that nothing came with it. It doesn't matter if he thought that OP and her daughter were overreacting. That's not his job. His job is to take the report and file it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

You want to press charged for sexual assault based on a light tough on the thigh for a few seconds? It doesn't sound like the cop was gaslighting you, but was giving you an assessment of the likely outcome.

I obviously haven't seen the video, but based on OP's description, this sounds like a major overreaction.

Agree. How old is your DD and other boy?

All you can do at this point is file a report. It will be assigned an investigator who will interview you, probably interview the other family, maybe pull the video from the school. He then passes all his info to the prosecutor who then decides if this meets the criteria of a crime and if there is enough credible evidence for a charge. But if the kids are both under 14, unless something extreme happened on the bus, the kid is not going to get charged for a crime

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

You want to press charged for sexual assault based on a light tough on the thigh for a few seconds? It doesn't sound like the cop was gaslighting you, but was giving you an assessment of the likely outcome.

I obviously haven't seen the video, but based on OP's description, this sounds like a major overreaction.

He told me it would not be a SA charge and would be a disorderly conduct charge and later refused. That would be fitting because of the distress it has caused her to the point of mental harm.