DD assaulted

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want him in jail. Just something more than school punishment. I meant "Free" as in happy and carefree after hurting someone while she's hurt.


He already got punishment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OP- She is having a hard time functioning and gets triggered to tears when she sees the SRO that refused at school now, reporting the cop and the kid is our endgame.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:HS DD was touched inappropriately on the bus 1 month ago. The cops will not let us press any charges. It wasn't going to be a felony sex crime but a misdemeanor and he switched up and said no. The school says we cannot access the video due to FERPA but it's part of her education record. What are our options.


It’s not an option for you to “press charges.” That is up to the police and the district/commonwealth attorney and is made based on the preponderance of the evidence
Anonymous
This is insane. He lightly touched her thigh!
She should have slapped his hand and yelled at him. Done. If he did it again then she tells the teacher/school counselor/principal whatever.
To call this “sexual assault” is an insult to those who have actually been assaulted!!!Your daughter has serious problems if she is this upset and continues to stay in a state of trauma over someone touching her thigh for a second or two.
You need to put her in therapy. Perhaps she was actually molested as a much younger child and that is why this is so upsetting to her because it’s bringing back some memory that she’s repressed. But the act of a high school student briefly touching another high school student’s thigh, Though unwanted and inappropriate and something to be addressed one way or the other, it is not assault. He was suspended so it was addressed more than most would be in this situation.
You are making this worse for your daughter by rationalizing her irrational behavior. Get her help, and yourself some too.
Anonymous
OP, is your daughter a victim of some other serious mental/physical trauma? More you say, more I think you are not telling the whole story. If your daughter is bringing out this level of reaction to a touch, I suspect there is something that happened to her that you might or might not know. I think that should be your concern and get her into some treatment.
Anonymous
OP, based on what you have said about your DD, she reminds me of a childhood friend of mine. This girl was super smart, accomplished, goal oriented, basically achieved everything she set her mind to. But she was so rigid in her thinking and could not tolerate any little thing that did not go her way or was out of her control. In college, she had a series of unfortunate misunderstandings with a professor (not in a sexual way) and it ended in her dropping out for a year. We were very close at this point and she was tell me all the details of the incident and I could not for the life of me understand why she was so upset. She elevated the issue to the dean of the school and when she didn't get the resolution she wanted, she quit school. We haven't stayed in touch much after college but from what I could gather, at each step of her life and career, she had some misunderstanding with someone and went on a rampage. She was always the victim, and it became increasingly shocking, her accusations. I am not her but I cannot imagine that being a happy life.

Do not let your daughter become like my brilliant friend. Do not enable her. Get her to see reality and teach her not to take everything so damn personally. Should that have happened to her? hell no, but you need to teach her that life is not fair and she needs to pick her battles.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want him in jail. Just something more than school punishment. I meant "Free" as in happy and carefree after hurting someone while she's hurt.


He already got punishment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OP- She is having a hard time functioning and gets triggered to tears when she sees the SRO that refused at school now, reporting the cop and the kid is our endgame.


She needs intensive therapy if a light touch for a few seconds results in this. Either that, or you're a troll as Ive said before. Likely a troll. I hope a troll for the sake of a child.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, based on what you have said about your DD, she reminds me of a childhood friend of mine. This girl was super smart, accomplished, goal oriented, basically achieved everything she set her mind to. But she was so rigid in her thinking and could not tolerate any little thing that did not go her way or was out of her control. In college, she had a series of unfortunate misunderstandings with a professor (not in a sexual way) and it ended in her dropping out for a year. We were very close at this point and she was tell me all the details of the incident and I could not for the life of me understand why she was so upset. She elevated the issue to the dean of the school and when she didn't get the resolution she wanted, she quit school. We haven't stayed in touch much after college but from what I could gather, at each step of her life and career, she had some misunderstanding with someone and went on a rampage. She was always the victim, and it became increasingly shocking, her accusations. I am not her but I cannot imagine that being a happy life.

Do not let your daughter become like my brilliant friend. Do not enable her. Get her to see reality and teach her not to take everything so damn personally. Should that have happened to her? hell no, but you need to teach her that life is not fair and she needs to pick her battles.


She sounds a little like that. She wants her life a specific certain way so that is why she is so upset about that she feels like it shattered her future and dreams. She doesn't have any other mental/physical issues. Even if so many people do not consider this SA, is a police report something they'd do in this situation or that the cops would allow?
Anonymous
I’m sorry your daughter went through an uncomfortable situation. Most humans have been through many many things at that level of discomfort and have needed to learn how to figure them out. She needs to as well or adult life will be very difficult for her. Whether you do this in your family, or she works on it in therapy, that needs to be some sense of response being proportional to the event. It would be an act of love to help her work on managing her feelings around this.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, based on what you have said about your DD, she reminds me of a childhood friend of mine. This girl was super smart, accomplished, goal oriented, basically achieved everything she set her mind to. But she was so rigid in her thinking and could not tolerate any little thing that did not go her way or was out of her control. In college, she had a series of unfortunate misunderstandings with a professor (not in a sexual way) and it ended in her dropping out for a year. We were very close at this point and she was tell me all the details of the incident and I could not for the life of me understand why she was so upset. She elevated the issue to the dean of the school and when she didn't get the resolution she wanted, she quit school. We haven't stayed in touch much after college but from what I could gather, at each step of her life and career, she had some misunderstanding with someone and went on a rampage. She was always the victim, and it became increasingly shocking, her accusations. I am not her but I cannot imagine that being a happy life.

Do not let your daughter become like my brilliant friend. Do not enable her. Get her to see reality and teach her not to take everything so damn personally. Should that have happened to her? hell no, but you need to teach her that life is not fair and she needs to pick her battles.


She sounds a little like that. She wants her life a specific certain way so that is why she is so upset about that she feels like it shattered her future and dreams. She doesn't have any other mental/physical issues. Even if so many people do not consider this SA, is a police report something they'd do in this situation or that the cops would allow?


You are definitely a troll. 100%
Anonymous
OP, if you are a troll... just go away and stop trying to revive this thread every day. If you are not a troll, you have all of the information you need... why are you reviving this thread every day?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are a troll... just go away and stop trying to revive this thread every day. If you are not a troll, you have all of the information you need... why are you reviving this thread every day?


Because it's a troll. Keeps asking the same question over and over again. I can't believe she got 10 pages of responses.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are a troll... just go away and stop trying to revive this thread every day. If you are not a troll, you have all of the information you need... why are you reviving this thread every day?


I'm just answering questions people have and reading their advice to help my DD. That's all. This situation is very confusing.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are a troll... just go away and stop trying to revive this thread every day. If you are not a troll, you have all of the information you need... why are you reviving this thread every day?


I'm just answering questions people have and reading their advice to help my DD. That's all. This situation is very confusing.


No you are not. You are 100% trolling. This whole thread should be deleted. YOu're an insult to actual survivors of SA.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are a troll... just go away and stop trying to revive this thread every day. If you are not a troll, you have all of the information you need... why are you reviving this thread every day?


I'm just answering questions people have and reading their advice to help my DD. That's all. This situation is very confusing.

There is nothing more to be confused about. He was suspended, yes? Case dismissed! Done. Finished. Drop it. Help your daughter get therapy! But no one will press charges against a HS student who touched another High School student’s thigh! Insane to keep asking. Lead ratio being online and spend this time looking for a therapist for your daughter and learn ways to not enable her “trauma”.
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