DD assaulted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

You want to press charged for sexual assault based on a light tough on the thigh for a few seconds? It doesn't sound like the cop was gaslighting you, but was giving you an assessment of the likely outcome.

I obviously haven't seen the video, but based on OP's description, this sounds like a major overreaction.

He told me it would not be a SA charge and would be a disorderly conduct charge and later refused. That would be fitting because of the distress it has caused her to the point of mental harm.

Please find her a therapist ASAP. Unfortunately, this is likely not the last time a guy is going to touch her leg or put his arm around her or touch her in a non sexual but non consenting way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

You want to press charged for sexual assault based on a light tough on the thigh for a few seconds? It doesn't sound like the cop was gaslighting you, but was giving you an assessment of the likely outcome.

I obviously haven't seen the video, but based on OP's description, this sounds like a major overreaction.

I'm the PP who had posted about being groped and no charges coming from it. I agree that's probably why the SRO talked OP out of a report. BUT he still should have followed through with one. It doesn't matter that he thought the outcome would be that nothing came with it. It doesn't matter if he thought that OP and her daughter were overreacting. That's not his job. His job is to take the report and file it.

She's taking it extremely personally that they would not let us file a report, like they do not care at all.

[Anonymous]

The school and the SRO don't want their crime numbers to go up, so of course they don't want you to file.

You need to do 2 things:

1. Go to your local police station and file.
2. File a letter with the camera owner (the school's district office?) for a preservation of evidence.

A lawyer can help with #2, and #1 also actually.

At the university level, we have the Clery Act that requires schools to at least publicly report all crimes on campus (because universities were covering them up of course). There is no such requirement in K-12, so you'll need to advocate strongly on this.

If the offender is a juvenile, probably not much will happen, but at least it will be in their file.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person who thinks that OP needs to empower her daughter to knee a guy in the balls when he does that?

No police report for this. Truly, nothing will come of it. But the next time someone fondles her boob or grabs her butt while she is on public transportation, she needs to turn around and knee them in the crotch. And then kick him in the shin for good measure. All while exclaiming "don't grab my butt, you pervert." Obviously only do this when she is surrounded by lots of other people!

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm not going to ask for more specific location information, because you probably should not post that. Call RAINN
https://rainn.org/resources

Ask them for local resources. You need advocacy and support for yourself and your daughter. There are groups that can help guide you in the process and provide emotional support. Depending on the org they may have funds for an attorney, although sometimes you are better off with a support org.

Title IX is a mess, especially under the current administration. Depending upon where you are and what resources are available to you different strategies will make sense. Get local help ASAP.

[Anonymous]

This story makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

You are a nut OP.

Being touched on the thigh is not assault.

It is not a crime.

[Anonymous]

Is the issue really a light (unwanted) touch on the thigh? And the school already suspended him?

OP—I’m going to be real with you, as a person with experience in this, you should not file a police report. There is flat out zero chance the police will do anything at all. There is a good chance they will make your daughter feel worse by dismissing her. And there is a high likelihood you and your daughter will face a lot of consequences from ppl in your community who feel you are attacking the boy over a minor issue (not saying I feel that way, just that others will). Our justice system sucks and will leave you regretting getting involved with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

You want to press charged for sexual assault based on a light tough on the thigh for a few seconds? It doesn't sound like the cop was gaslighting you, but was giving you an assessment of the likely outcome.

I obviously haven't seen the video, but based on OP's description, this sounds like a major overreaction.

I'm the PP who had posted about being groped and no charges coming from it. I agree that's probably why the SRO talked OP out of a report. BUT he still should have followed through with one. It doesn't matter that he thought the outcome would be that nothing came with it. It doesn't matter if he thought that OP and her daughter were overreacting. That's not his job. His job is to take the report and file it.

She's taking it extremely personally that they would not let us file a report, like they do not care at all.

I'm the same PP. It's harsh, but they don't really care that much. It's a shitty realization to have and it's a tough one when you're faced with it, especially when you're young and it happens someplace where you're supposed to be safe, like school or the bus. But empower her now. Go to the police dept and file that report. Get her a therapist. Go to the school. You've gotten a lot of good advice here. Will you get the consequences you are hoping for? Unfortunately the likelihood is you won't. But showing her that you still stand up for yourself and don't just sit silently is important. But, I think the therapist part is pretty critical here. The fact that he's not going to get charged with anything (probably) isn't some personal attack against her and she'll need some help realizing that.

[Anonymous]

It was a school bus? Not a city bus?

I am amazed the school isn’t worried. When kids get away with it, they escalate. And the adults let that culture flourish.

Maybe send the headmaster a copy of Chessy Prout’s book. Along with the info that St. Paul’s was forced to make a major payout and have oversight by the state of NH for 5 years. Utterly embarrassing for a school that is actually fantastic.

Better yet, send gift wrap copies of all of the above, plays a copy of your police report, to every single board member. Signature required at receipt.

That might get the school moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was a school bus? Not a city bus?

I am amazed the school isn’t worried. When kids get away with it, they escalate. And the adults let that culture flourish.

Maybe send the headmaster a copy of Chessy Prout’s book. Along with the info that St. Paul’s was forced to make a major payout and have oversight by the state of NH for 5 years. Utterly embarrassing for a school that is actually fantastic.

Better yet, send gift wrap copies of all of the above, plays a copy of your police report, to every single board member. Signature required at receipt.

That might get the school moving.

They were worried enough to suspend him, it's not clear to me what else you want the school to do? I actually find comparing Prout's story to "a brief light touch on the thigh" and swift action to suspend by the school pretty distasteful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who thinks that OP needs to empower her daughter to knee a guy in the balls when he does that?

No police report for this. Truly, nothing will come of it. But the next time someone fondles her boob or grabs her butt while she is on public transportation, she needs to turn around and knee them in the crotch. And then kick him in the shin for good measure. All while exclaiming "don't grab my butt, you pervert." Obviously only do this when she is surrounded by lots of other people!

This.
Never get the police involved. Nothing good comes of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sexually assaulted sounds like she was raped or physically held down in some manner. Without going into detail of course, can you explain what happened exactly? As in was this a case of a boy squeezing her ass or breast as she walked by? Grazing against her shirt? Or did he put his hand up her skirt? Were they alone on the bus? Ages ? In high school or younger? Same age? I feel like there are gaps in the story that make it hard to give advice other than speak with the principal first and then get a lawyer if you feel it is necessary. I am sorry whatever happened occurred as it clearly is upsetting (for you and your daughter) but I feel like there must be a reason they want the school to Handel it first before police get involved.

Op already posted that it was a light tough to the thigh.

WTF? If OP goes to the police slandering someone for "sexual assault" for something like this, both OP and her daughter are going to wind up sued or in jail themselves.

[Anonymous]

OP here- Thanks for all the good advice. Unfortunately, I know their might not be a good outcome if we reported it. She really needs that closure and would be satisfied with just being brave enough to report it and doing as much as she can control. Because of the PTSD-like symptoms she has experienced because of this, not getting any time of closure would fill her with regret and overthinking about what could have happened if she tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This story makes no sense.

I think it's a troll. The light thigh touch and the resulting "PTSD like" response sealed it for me.