Boy poked DD9 in the chest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell her to slap/hit him the next time he does if, ideally when the teacher is not looking. He is likely old enough to be really embarrassed by a girl smacking him and probably won’t tattle. Even if he does- whatever. She’s 9, there wont be any actual lasting consequences anyway (and teacher and admin are likely to be sympathetic to her, and he will probably get punished as well). Either way he will stop bothering her, so problem solved. Sorry, minor violence IS the answer sometimes. 🤣

So crazy to me that this is seen as fine advice to give a girl, but if a boy retaliates the whole internet says hes a menace, unfixable, males are ruining schools, etc. Why does the girl get to sneakily attack someone and that is a good thing?

I'm not in support of the boy poking her, but also not in support of girls being empowered to hurt others either.

A knee to the groin is self defence. Perfectly acceptable in a situation like this. Pp she doesn't need to be sneaky.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I think the advice to punch or kick another 9 yr old is misplaced anger. She should move away from him immediately and tell an adult, not get into a physical altercation. She isn’t fighting for her life and he is a child too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think the advice to punch or kick another 9 yr old is misplaced anger. She should move away from him immediately and tell an adult, not get into a physical altercation. She isn’t fighting for her life and he is a child too

She is being molested by a 9 year old boy who is old enough to know this is a private area. She is fully justified to let him know with her fist or her knee or both that she is not going to be his target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell her to slap/hit him the next time he does if, ideally when the teacher is not looking. He is likely old enough to be really embarrassed by a girl smacking him and probably won’t tattle. Even if he does- whatever. She’s 9, there wont be any actual lasting consequences anyway (and teacher and admin are likely to be sympathetic to her, and he will probably get punished as well). Either way he will stop bothering her, so problem solved. Sorry, minor violence IS the answer sometimes. 🤣

So crazy to me that this is seen as fine advice to give a girl, but if a boy retaliates the whole internet says hes a menace, unfixable, males are ruining schools, etc. Why does the girl get to sneakily attack someone and that is a good thing?

I'm not in support of the boy poking her, but also not in support of girls being empowered to hurt others either.

What girl is continually poking a classmate on the privates after he keeps telling her no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell her to slap/hit him the next time he does if, ideally when the teacher is not looking. He is likely old enough to be really embarrassed by a girl smacking him and probably won’t tattle. Even if he does- whatever. She’s 9, there wont be any actual lasting consequences anyway (and teacher and admin are likely to be sympathetic to her, and he will probably get punished as well). Either way he will stop bothering her, so problem solved. Sorry, minor violence IS the answer sometimes. 🤣

So crazy to me that this is seen as fine advice to give a girl, but if a boy retaliates the whole internet says hes a menace, unfixable, males are ruining schools, etc. Why does the girl get to sneakily attack someone and that is a good thing?

I'm not in support of the boy poking her, but also not in support of girls being empowered to hurt others either.

What girl is continually poking a classmate on the privates after he keeps telling her no?

Sorry but a breast is not equivalent to genitals. You are being purposefully hyperbolic to justify maximum outrage.

[Anonymous]

NP and so tired of this BS and PPs willing to bend over backwards to explain why it’s not actually a big deal that a boy is engaging in continued, unwanted physical contact with a girl. We went through this during two separate years with my DD and two separate boys at her school. It was ridiculous how much documentation and contact with the school it took for them to even engage in separating the boys from my DD. We were blown off in many ways, always with the implication that DD was exaggerating or needed to differentiate between big problems and little problems or that she was overreacting.

It took a ton of emails and DH going in to school and asking for meetings for the school to finally intervene.

OP, schools respond differently to moms than dads. Send your DH in if you can. And make sure every contact and incident is documented by email to both the classroom teacher and his or her entire chain of command. We found out the hard way that my DD’s classroom teacher had been advocating for discipline for DD’s harasser but it was being ignored by the school administration. It wasn’t until we involved all of the teacher’s supervisors (and read them the riot act) that they took my DD and her teacher’s complaints about the problem boy seriously.

And boy parents, don’t blow off these complaints and run into school whining about discipline and covid challenges and boys being boys. My Dd is one of many on this board who appear to have full parental permission to kick these boys in the jellybeans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP and so tired of this BS and PPs willing to bend over backwards to explain why it’s not actually a big deal that a boy is engaging in continued, unwanted physical contact with a girl. We went through this during two separate years with my DD and two separate boys at her school. It was ridiculous how much documentation and contact with the school it took for them to even engage in separating the boys from my DD. We were blown off in many ways, always with the implication that DD was exaggerating or needed to differentiate between big problems and little problems or that she was overreacting.

It took a ton of emails and DH going in to school and asking for meetings for the school to finally intervene.

OP, schools respond differently to moms than dads. Send your DH in if you can. And make sure every contact and incident is documented by email to both the classroom teacher and his or her entire chain of command. We found out the hard way that my DD’s classroom teacher had been advocating for discipline for DD’s harasser but it was being ignored by the school administration. It wasn’t until we involved all of the teacher’s supervisors (and read them the riot act) that they took my DD and her teacher’s complaints about the problem boy seriously.

And boy parents, don’t blow off these complaints and run into school whining about discipline and covid challenges and boys being boys. My Dd is one of many on this board who appear to have full parental permission to kick these boys in the jellybeans.

+100

And FWIW my own DD (who has 2 brothers close in age, including a twin brother) at that age would’ve given the boy a tongue lashing first- and if that didn’t work- a swift kick for sure. If the school would call me and complain, she’d get a high 5 and ice cream. Teach your girls to stand up for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

OP here. Lol you sounds like my husband. But I did tell her to raise her voice and say "STOP TOUCHING ME NOW" over and over. She's a rule follower, so this is not her comfort zone, but I told her she has full permission to raise her voice as loud as she needs to.

This is what I told my daughter to do and she's the one who got in trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

OP here. Lol you sounds like my husband. But I did tell her to raise her voice and say "STOP TOUCHING ME NOW" over and over. She's a rule follower, so this is not her comfort zone, but I told her she has full permission to raise her voice as loud as she needs to.

This is what I told my daughter to do and she's the one who got in trouble.

Following up to say that we backed her up and took it to the principal, don't worry!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think the advice to punch or kick another 9 yr old is misplaced anger. She should move away from him immediately and tell an adult, not get into a physical altercation. She isn’t fighting for her life and he is a child too

She is being molested by a 9 year old boy who is old enough to know this is a private area. She is fully justified to let him know with her fist or her knee or both that she is not going to be his target.

I would hardly call that “molesting” that requires a physical attack in retaliation.

He is poking her in the chest. She can remove herself and tell a teacher. That accomplishes the goal of him stopping and him getting consequences. Mom can follow up with administration. Turning this into a physical fight isn’t the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

OP here. Lol you sounds like my husband. But I did tell her to raise her voice and say "STOP TOUCHING ME NOW" over and over. She's a rule follower, so this is not her comfort zone, but I told her she has full permission to raise her voice as loud as she needs to.

This is what I told my daughter to do and she's the one who got in trouble.

OP here. She got in trouble for telling the boy to stop touching her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d tell her to slap/hit him the next time he does if, ideally when the teacher is not looking. He is likely old enough to be really embarrassed by a girl smacking him and probably won’t tattle. Even if he does- whatever. She’s 9, there wont be any actual lasting consequences anyway (and teacher and admin are likely to be sympathetic to her, and he will probably get punished as well). Either way he will stop bothering her, so problem solved. Sorry, minor violence IS the answer sometimes. 🤣

So crazy to me that this is seen as fine advice to give a girl, but if a boy retaliates the whole internet says hes a menace, unfixable, males are ruining schools, etc. Why does the girl get to sneakily attack someone and that is a good thing?

I'm not in support of the boy poking her, but also not in support of girls being empowered to hurt others either.

What girl is continually poking a classmate on the privates after he keeps telling her no?

Sorry but a breast is not equivalent to genitals. You are being purposefully hyperbolic to justify maximum outrage.

+1 Like your DD, my kid is non-confrontational and I taught my DS to respond with words when a girl kept pushing him in line. Just loudly saying (for nearby kids to hear too) "STOP IT" with palm out in front empowered my DC and also telling the teacher about it. Sometimes unfortunately these kids have other issues so they are not socially aware and the school does not provide enough 1-1 aides.

[Anonymous]

A few years ago this happened to my 10 year old daughter and she yelled. Her 12 year old brother heard her and knocked the boy to the ground and jumped on him until a cafeteria monitor broke it up. My son got into more trouble than the other boy did until the truth came out. Every school has mean kids with many parents not caring and staff with their hands tied about discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I think the advice to punch or kick another 9 yr old is misplaced anger. She should move away from him immediately and tell an adult, not get into a physical altercation. She isn’t fighting for her life and he is a child too

She is being molested by a 9 year old boy who is old enough to know this is a private area. She is fully justified to let him know with her fist or her knee or both that she is not going to be his target.

I would hardly call that “molesting” that requires a physical attack in retaliation.

He is poking her in the chest. She can remove herself and tell a teacher. That accomplishes the goal of him stopping and him getting consequences. Mom can follow up with administration. Turning this into a physical fight isn’t the answer.

Maybe it does not fit your definition of molestation but, clearly the girl does. If it didn't happen to you of course you are cavalier about it! Why would a 9 nine year old boy touch a girl on the chest anyway? He is old enough to know to keep his hands to himself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think saying loudly "stop touching me" and then moving to another spot in line, even if its the back is the best advice.

Im not convinced from this telling that it is sexual in nature at all, but still annoying and inappropriate to poke anyone.

Oh h*ll no. My 9 year old IS just starting to develop breast buds and they hurt her when clothing rubs, let alone a jerk kid intentionally POKING. It doesn't matter if it was intentionally to that boy, which I would bet my house it was, it was to HER and HER opinion is the only one that matters. This is the kind of harassment that can stay with girls for years. It should NEVER be excused or minimized.

+1 million