Boy poked DD9 in the chest

[Anonymous]

My DD9 was standing in line for lunch and a boy poked her in the chest (like at her nipple) several times. She asked him to stop and he did it again. There was no adult right there, she would have had to get out of line to tell a teacher/lunch monitor and they get in big trouble for getting out of line so she didn't say anything. She also didn't tell her teacher because he's male and she was embarrassed. She told me while sobbing about it but didn't want me to email the teacher or principal because again "embarrassing". I did any way and they looped the social worker in on it too. I heard back from both the teacher and the principal. The teacher wrote a mostly reassuring note back and the principal just said "it would be addressed". This kid apparently has done this before (even to another girl the same day). How would you expect them to address this? And would you ask for an update or just leave it be and hope it doesn't happen again?

[Anonymous]

Id want to know from the principal how it was going to be addressed. If necessary to press charges I would. Schools need to get these kids out of there or a 1:1 support.

[Anonymous]

You did the right thing, OP, by modeling to your child how parents protect their children. Perpetrators have the right to confidentiality in their punishments, so the Principal will likely not tell you what was done. I know that can be frustrating to hear for victims and their families.

Keep you ear to the ground and warn other families of girls, so that they're not scared of filing reports as well. Schools cannot move to more drastic measures, such as suspension, etc, unless they have an accumulation of evidence.

[Anonymous]

Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

[Anonymous]

I'd want to know that a member of faculty will be monitoring that lunch line (that boy) going forward and if he goes to do it again he needs to be yanked out of line and sent to the back and supervised, and his parents need to be told.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Id want to know from the principal how it was going to be addressed. If necessary to press charges I would. Schools need to get these kids out of there or a 1:1 support.

OP here. I'm at my wits end with the poorly behaved kids at her school. I'm documenting everything this year. I am not afraid to be a pain in the a$$ if needed. I told DD, any incident with him or another kid in her class, needs to be told to me. I'm especially annoyed because we tried to get her a transfer out of this school and was denied, so now I want a paper trail for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

OP here. Lol you sounds like my husband. But I did tell her to raise her voice and say "STOP TOUCHING ME NOW" over and over. She's a rule follower, so this is not her comfort zone, but I told her she has full permission to raise her voice as loud as she needs to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

OP here. Lol you sounds like my husband. But I did tell her to raise her voice and say "STOP TOUCHING ME NOW" over and over. She's a rule follower, so this is not her comfort zone, but I told her she has full permission to raise her voice as loud as she needs to.

I think that's good. I once had a creepy person following me in Belfast so I screamed "STOP FOLLOWING ME"! And several people stared and he stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

OP here. Lol you sounds like my husband. But I did tell her to raise her voice and say "STOP TOUCHING ME NOW" over and over. She's a rule follower, so this is not her comfort zone, but I told her she has full permission to raise her voice as loud as she needs to.

I think that's good. I once had a creepy person following me in Belfast so I screamed "STOP FOLLOWING ME"! And several people stared and he stopped.

OP here. It's sad they have to learn this so early. She was even trying to justify it saying "well, maybe he didn't actually touch my nipple" while showing me and then moves her finger a centimeter off to the side. I had to explain to her that it doesn't matter. No one, boy or girl, can touch her without her consent, especially in her chest. She hasn't developed at all yet, but even in the absence of actual breasts, its still not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her the next time, she is to grab a handful of shirt with one hand and set to punching him in the face with the other until they pull her off, all the while shouting stop molesting me.

OP here. Lol you sounds like my husband. But I did tell her to raise her voice and say "STOP TOUCHING ME NOW" over and over. She's a rule follower, so this is not her comfort zone, but I told her she has full permission to raise her voice as loud as she needs to.

Great advice.

[Anonymous]

I think saying loudly "stop touching me" and then moving to another spot in line, even if its the back is the best advice.

Im not convinced from this telling that it is sexual in nature at all, but still annoying and inappropriate to poke anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD9 was standing in line for lunch and a boy poked her in the chest (like at her nipple) several times. She asked him to stop and he did it again. There was no adult right there, she would have had to get out of line to tell a teacher/lunch monitor and they get in big trouble for getting out of line so she didn't say anything. She also didn't tell her teacher because he's male and she was embarrassed. She told me while sobbing about it but didn't want me to email the teacher or principal because again "embarrassing". I did any way and they looped the social worker in on it too. I heard back from both the teacher and the principal. The teacher wrote a mostly reassuring note back and the principal just said "it would be addressed". This kid apparently has done this before (even to another girl the same day). How would you expect them to address this? And would you ask for an update or just leave it be and hope it doesn't happen again?

Nothing short of castration would be acceptable to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think saying loudly "stop touching me" and then moving to another spot in line, even if its the back is the best advice.

Im not convinced from this telling that it is sexual in nature at all, but still annoying and inappropriate to poke anyone.

What a ridiculous lesson to teach a little girl. But coming from somone trying to pretend that a boy repeatedly poking girls in the nipple has nothing to do with sex it makes a twisted kind of sense. He wasn't doing anything *really* wrong, and anyway if he was she should be punished for it. #boymom, amirite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think saying loudly "stop touching me" and then moving to another spot in line, even if its the back is the best advice.

Im not convinced from this telling that it is sexual in nature at all, but still annoying and inappropriate to poke anyone.

OP here. C'mon now, doesn't every parent teach their kid what parts of the body are off limits no matter what? We just had her well check a couple weeks ago and the doctor even quizzed her on it. Even if it's not overtly sexual, it's not the same as like poking someone in their arm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think saying loudly "stop touching me" and then moving to another spot in line, even if its the back is the best advice.

Im not convinced from this telling that it is sexual in nature at all, but still annoying and inappropriate to poke anyone.

Oh h*ll no. My 9 year old IS just starting to develop breast buds and they hurt her when clothing rubs, let alone a jerk kid intentionally POKING. It doesn't matter if it was intentionally to that boy, which I would bet my house it was, it was to HER and HER opinion is the only one that matters. This is the kind of harassment that can stay with girls for years. It should NEVER be excused or minimized.