Things are not so bad after all for us divorced guys 45+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The discussion about kids did come and I made it clear that I was done having kids. I do not plan to be remarried right away but I do not want to discount that. The lady I am currently seeing said she is unsure whether she wants kids but as of right now she doesn't want to have kids.

lol. Until she surprisingly ends up pregnant.

It will only be a surprise to him.

Guys are so gullible.

YEah, dude needs to get a vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

I am a guy, and any guy the uses the word "lady" is a red flag. I would advise feel friends to stay away.

[Anonymous]

Having been a 30 something aged woman not that long ago, every single time we go for a routine checkup between 32-38, PCPs ask that same question that OP asked, and women frequently answer “I don’t know” because facing menopause/the age of decreasing fertility is not something we want to think about until it’s too late.

Most women can still get pregnant fairly easily in their 40s, but the miscarriage rate is high. The disability rate is even higher. Match that with an older father and you have a recipe for an SN child, OP.

Get a vasectomy and attend your follow up visit if you really are finished having children, OP. If you don’t, then you are being more dishonest to your girlfriend than she is being to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The discussion about kids did come and I made it clear that I was done having kids. I do not plan to be remarried right away but I do not want to discount that. The lady I am currently seeing said she is unsure whether she wants kids but as of right now she doesn't want to have kids.

If she’s unsure and at the end of her shot you need to walk away. She’s either hoping she can convince you or will one day resent you for making the final deviation for her. No good will come of it. Date women your own age. Be the grown up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The discussion about kids did come and I made it clear that I was done having kids. I do not plan to be remarried right away but I do not want to discount that. The lady I am currently seeing said she is unsure whether she wants kids but as of right now she doesn't want to have kids.

If she’s unsure and at the end of her shot you need to walk away. She’s either hoping she can convince you or will one day resent you for making the final deviation for her. No good will come of it. Date women your own age. Be the grown up.

That is such a loaded question to ask. OP was asking to be dodged by asking it that way.

She’s not in menopause yet, right? Then having a child is a possibility even with an IUD or other birth control method. OP, only getting snipped yourself or dating post menopausal women will get you what you allegedly want. So, do you still not want any more children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having been a 30 something aged woman not that long ago, every single time we go for a routine checkup between 32-38, PCPs ask that same question that OP asked, and women frequently answer “I don’t know” because facing menopause/the age of decreasing fertility is not something we want to think about until it’s too late.

Most women can still get pregnant fairly easily in their 40s, but the miscarriage rate is high. The disability rate is even higher. Match that with an older father and you have a recipe for an SN child, OP.

Get a vasectomy and attend your follow up visit if you really are finished having children, OP. If you don’t, then you are being more dishonest to your girlfriend than she is being to you.

Define high. It’s higher than in your 20s and 30s but quite low in absolute terms. There is now testing that can tell you with near certainty whether there are abnormalities (at least the 300 or so most common ones). The fact is that a woman today who is 42 is taking on much less risk thanks to modern medicine than a 20 year old was a hundred or two hundred years ago, both in terms of her health and the child’s health.

On an unrelated note, some of the world’s greatest artists, scientists and yes, friends, were SN kids.

OP, I’m a 45 year old woman l, happily married but still look and feel good, and I can’t imagine why a 45 year old guy wouldn’t have good luck on OLD if he was a normal, kind, well adjusted person.

[Anonymous]

Women in their late mid 30s are advanced maternal age , they are old and not looking to have kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women in their late mid 30s are advanced maternal age , they are old and not looking to have kids

Speak for yourself.

Anyone who says “I don’t know” isn’t saying no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women in their late mid 30s are advanced maternal age , they are old and not looking to have kids

Lol nope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The discussion about kids did come and I made it clear that I was done having kids. I do not plan to be remarried right away but I do not want to discount that. The lady I am currently seeing said she is unsure whether she wants kids but as of right now she doesn't want to have kids.

B-S shes 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women in their late mid 30s are advanced maternal age , they are old and not looking to have kids

Ill be delivering at 38 thank you very much.

[Anonymous]

Guys need to be more sensitive because childless women in their 30s are very sensitive to this issue and will naturally be very defensive to anyone who says they are too old to convince me the child may end up with a disability. Any man dating a woman in her 30s shouldn't even bring this up and he should just automatically assume that she wants children and decide if he wants to raise kids in his 50s. We married when we were in our early 20s and had our 3 kids by the time DW turned 31. Raising kids is tough. It's a lot mental, emotional and physical commitment with big rewards. I am not suggesting older people are not up to the tasks to the contrary many are doing just fine. However you should really decide like TODAY if you want more kids. If not get a vasectomy next week and if you go on subsequent dates announce it asap so the ladies who want children can look elsewhere. It's a sensitive topic that men simply cannot relate to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a guy, and any guy the uses the word "lady" is a red flag. I would advise feel friends to stay away.

Fortunately, most women know to be suspicious of the kind of guy who tries to suck up to then by advising about other men.

[Anonymous]

No way would I have dated a forty something divorced dad when I was 35.

If that woman you are dating wants to get married, she is dumb for dating you. I feel bad for her. She is wasting her time.
report.

And, yet again, some nut tries to hijack the thread.

PP, read the thread title. Is your post about how things are for a forty-something divorced dad? Nope. It is about you, a subject you spend every minute focused on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty similar to you and have found it easiest to date women with kids closer to my age, or women much younger who want to have a family someday, but don't want to consider it for 5-6 years. Current GF is 26.

NP. I get the ick from a 26 year old dating 46 year old…too close to my own daughter’s age.

Good. I’ll smile about that when we’re on our upcoming long weekend getaway.

Why do men think ppl are impressed by their sexual exploits with younger women? Some show of virility or something? It’s super weird.