15 y/o DS - high level athlete and found out he's been smoking weed every weekend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

Since when is it developmentally normal to smoke weed at 15?

Since the 70’s

There's been a ton of research (since the 70s) that shows that using drugs at an early age can exacerbate mental health disorders especially in males. My brother's schizophrenia has been directly connected to his teen pot and other drug use.

I didn’t say it was good for teens. I just said that it was developmentally normal.

It’s also developmentally normal to have sex, which I don’t really want them doing it 15 either.

But assuming every kid who tries pot at 15 is going to become schizophrenic is quite literally insane.

Saying drug use at 15 is developmentally normal is quite literally insane.

[Anonymous]

About 10 years ago, I was you.

All I can say is that it works out and your kid can still turn out amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

Since when is it developmentally normal to smoke weed at 15?

Since the 70’s

There's been a ton of research (since the 70s) that shows that using drugs at an early age can exacerbate mental health disorders especially in males. My brother's schizophrenia has been directly connected to his teen pot and other drug use.

Pot use alone does not cause schizophrenia. It’s a combination of genetics environment and life circumstances. Pot can exacerbate these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

Since when is it developmentally normal to smoke weed at 15?

Since the 70’s

There's been a ton of research (since the 70s) that shows that using drugs at an early age can exacerbate mental health disorders especially in males. My brother's schizophrenia has been directly connected to his teen pot and other drug use.

I didn’t say it was good for teens. I just said that it was developmentally normal.

It’s also developmentally normal to have sex, which I don’t really want them doing it 15 either.

But assuming every kid who tries pot at 15 is going to become schizophrenic is quite literally insane.

Saying drug use at 15 is developmentally normal is quite literally insane.

Tell the AAP.

Do you not know the definition of developmentally normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to reevaluate if you really have an open relationship or if he just tells you what you want to hear.

Given his poor judgement, I'd limit him to supervised social situations for a long time. An attentive parent or teacher needs to be there (not hovering, but checking in periodically) so no smoking can occur.

There are plenty of kids who don't smoke pot. He just doesn't know them because he's spending his time with potheads. He needs to make new friends.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Is it friends from his sports team? It is really hard when teammates party and that is your peer group. In 10th grade my sin suddenly wanted to drop the sport he was good at and couldn’t quite explain why. He dropped a lot of friends and we thought he was isolating himself and depressed. Turns out that he admitted in 11th when he found a new group to hang out with that his old friends were partying. He didn’t want to drink, vape, use edible or smoke. He didn’t want to tell us because he thought we would contact his firmer friends’ parents. It was a lonely 10th grade year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

The works of teens.

I know y’all don’t like to think that it’s normal for a 15 yo to drink, smoke pot and have sex and still are normal children.

Its normal.

You want to catastrophize and think … but they will fail out, or the I’ll become schizophrenic, or they’re gonna become drug addict.

But those situations are extreme outliers.

Op should check in, see what’s going on and see if he is having issues in other area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

The works of teens.

I know y’all don’t like to think that it’s normal for a 15 yo to drink, smoke pot and have sex and still are normal children.

Its normal.

You want to catastrophize and think … but they will fail out, or the I’ll become schizophrenic, or they’re gonna become drug addict.

But those situations are extreme outliers.

Op should check in, see what’s going on and see if he is having issues in other area.

They are normal children. They are engaging in activities that are not “normal” for their age, if for no other reason that the majority of kids their age do not smoke pot and drink, especially on a weekly basis.

Sorry your kids have turned out that way, but claiming that everyone else has these problems is simply not true.

[Anonymous]

A lot of those private school athletes are doing lines on the weekends because they have the money.

Please provide ANY evidence that supports this. This is so ridiculous. Anecdotally, I have heard of many more kids in public school using hard drugs than in my kid's private school. BTW, I have kids that went to public school as well, so I know of what I speak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest was doing this at 15 and while it is developmentally normal it was a little more than I was willing to see as normal. Every weekend, in the basement alone, etc.

I had him see a therapist about 10 times over a semester and he worked out some issues he had with anxiety, unrealistic expectation (in his friend group who were all Ivy or bust ... btw they all busted), low self esteem issues (both his brothers were D1 athletes... we knew he was not interested and did not care), a few girl issues we were not aware of and basic what's it all for issues.

It was nice because he learned to be a little more open with us even though he could be open he didn't know how .. he's a 15 yo introvert so it was something he needed coaching on. The therapist was both a therapist and a coach.

He came out of it, but then dipped back in it 2020 at college so a little more therapy.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart.

In what work is smoking pot every weekend at 15 “developmentally normal?” You are nuts, PP, but I assume denial is your way of coping for your poor parenting decisions.

The works of teens.

I know y’all don’t like to think that it’s normal for a 15 yo to drink, smoke pot and have sex and still are normal children.

Its normal.

You want to catastrophize and think … but they will fail out, or the I’ll become schizophrenic, or they’re gonna become drug addict.

But those situations are extreme outliers.

Op should check in, see what’s going on and see if he is having issues in other area.

They are normal children. They are engaging in activities that are not “normal” for their age, if for no other reason that the majority of kids their age do not smoke pot and drink, especially on a weekly basis.

Sorry your kids have turned out that way, but claiming that everyone else has these problems is simply not true.

They are normal children doing things normal teens do.

Majority of kids don’t go to college but going to college is developmentally normal

I feel sorry for your kids that you expect perfection of you will label them abnormal.

Thats a lot of adult therapy they will need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

A lot of those private school athletes are doing lines on the weekends because they have the money.

Please provide ANY evidence that supports this. This is so ridiculous. Anecdotally, I have heard of many more kids in public school using hard drugs than in my kid's private school. BTW, I have kids that went to public school as well, so I know of what I speak.

Please provide ANY evidence that support this?

[Anonymous]

Listen OP a lot of kids do drugs. But most of teens in high school do them recreationally and most parents can't even tell.

The fact that you have noticed a difference means there is an issue and he needs some help. Thank him for being honest, tell him he is going to be drug tested once a week, and if he shows a positive, you notify his coach or pull him from the team.

As far as peer group, if they are in the same sport he has to learn to say "I am getting tested now" or I am going to lay off. Or better yet, get a girlfriend should help too.

If they aren't in the same sport, he needs to drop them.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sorry. We also recently found our hs junior has been using a 'dab pen' with THC. It was absolutely affecting his motivation and the physical signs were obvious. He denied it even when faced with the device I found in his room.

They think they are invincible at this age and peer pressure is huge. We talked to him about the health concerns, how it can be laced, how he will fail drug tests. This last one is what really caught is attention and he says he is using that now as an excuse to his peers. The physical signs are not there anymore and I truly think he is not using at this point. But we are extremely vigilant and watch him like a hawk.

Don't take to heart what some of these parents are saying about raising a druggie or whatever. There but for the grace of god they go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am sorry. We also recently found our hs junior has been using a 'dab pen' with THC. It was absolutely affecting his motivation and the physical signs were obvious. He denied it even when faced with the device I found in his room.

They think they are invincible at this age and peer pressure is huge. We talked to him about the health concerns, how it can be laced, how he will fail drug tests. This last one is what really caught is attention and he says he is using that now as an excuse to his peers. The physical signs are not there anymore and I truly think he is not using at this point. But we are extremely vigilant and watch him like a hawk.

Don't take to heart what some of these parents are saying about raising a druggie or whatever. There but for the grace of god they go.

OP here, this is the most effective post. I know I didn't raise a druggie and I don't take offense to those who throw stones from a glass house -their time will come. It may not be drugs, alcohol, etc. but something will force them to eat a slice of humble pie. I'm curious what were the physical signs were you noticed? Thank you for your support and advice.