Husband Told Me to Call My AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that HR would fire you if you were a victim. I can see him getting fired, but there must be something more to this for them to have fired you too.

Not getting into who the victim is, but firing both makes no sense. There's no scenario where both are guilty for having an affair. Sleeping with your boss isn't fireable cause for a subordinate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

You lied to your husband throughout. If a superior was pressuring me for an affair, I would talk to my husband about it as I would know I need to leave my job and I need my husband's support if I quit my job without having another job lined up. my husband and I are partners and we would discuss the situation and strategize together on how to resolve it whether confronting the partner or another partner at the firm or quitting or whatever. You kept some pretty big secrets from your spouse and I'm not surprised that he is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

Let me summarize and simplify that for you….

I saw money & power, intentionally fell on the D to get to said money and power. Before I could get off the D everything was on fire. Instead of calling the fire department I let it burn and hoped no one would notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that HR would fire you if you were a victim. I can see him getting fired, but there must be something more to this for them to have fired you too.

Not getting into who the victim is, but firing both makes no sense. There's no scenario where both are guilty for having an affair. Sleeping with your boss isn't fireable cause for a subordinate.

Sure it is.

[Anonymous]

OP wasn't pressured into an affair, she initiated it. Then blackmailed the partner she was having the affair with. Then when the blackmail didn't work, sued the firm, and got them both fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP wasn't pressured into an affair, she initiated it. Then blackmailed the partner she was having the affair with. Then when the blackmail didn't work, sued the firm, and got them both fired.

Ding, ding, ding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that HR would fire you if you were a victim. I can see him getting fired, but there must be something more to this for them to have fired you too.

Not getting into who the victim is, but firing both makes no sense. There's no scenario where both are guilty for having an affair. Sleeping with your boss isn't fireable cause for a subordinate.

They could say we don’t believe but we don’t not believe you. Fire her and know they are going to have to pay out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that HR would fire you if you were a victim. I can see him getting fired, but there must be something more to this for them to have fired you too.

Not getting into who the victim is, but firing both makes no sense. There's no scenario where both are guilty for having an affair. Sleeping with your boss isn't fireable cause for a subordinate.

They could say we don’t believe but we don’t not believe you. Fire her and know they are going to have to pay out.

Usually these sorts of affairs involve violations of company policies by both parties specifically things like misuse of company resources or work time to conduct the affair. Subordinates are also typically required to report inappropriate behavior by a supervisor to h.r. or a sexual harassment team. Absolutely no reason someone working at a law firm "has to" fuhhk a partner unless they want to of course.

[Anonymous]

MES and LH, is that you?

[Anonymous]

I think the question on everyone's lips is, how big of a settlement are we talking about here, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that HR would fire you if you were a victim. I can see him getting fired, but there must be something more to this for them to have fired you too.

Not getting into who the victim is, but firing both makes no sense. There's no scenario where both are guilty for having an affair. Sleeping with your boss isn't fireable cause for a subordinate.

It’s a form of sexual harassment of all their colleagues, in that the boss could reasonably be expected to be making allowances and offering flexibilities and rewards to someone he’s sleeping with that can never be available to people he’s not sleeping with.

That’s why companies have policies against it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what's up with the quotes around "non-consensual" and "affair"?

Seriously. What kind of word salad is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what's up with the quotes around "non-consensual" and "affair"?

Seriously. What kind of word salad is this?

Her premise is that it was hierarchical therefore not consensual and that is why it wasn’t an affair per se. Many raised eyebrows but sounds like someone in HR agreed there was enough evidence to settle.

[Anonymous]

Team Husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MES and LH, is that you?

Damn, I hope is IS them and one responds!