Husband Told Me to Call My AP

[Anonymous]

MES and LH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MES and LH, is that you?

Tell us what happened with them to see if we can understand OP’s situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MES and LH, is that you?

Tell us what happened with them to see if we can understand OP’s situation.

Where to start. Big 4 consulting firm. Young project manager had a consensual multi-year affair with partner in direct reporting line. Received early promotions, out of cycle pay increases, you name it. Eventually was going to leave her husband for the partner but got cold feet. Got a settlement from the company and partner was eventually “terminated” after a year. Don’t believe the woman ever told her husband about this entire situation, even while she was on a 6 month paid leave from the company.

That’s the short version. You can’t even imagine the long version…

[Anonymous]

He is helping you, he advised you to go see a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you are a narcissist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you saying that a superior raped you? And then you both got fired? And your husband thinks it was an affair and you feel sad that he left you?

DP
This is what I gathered too. Or OP had an affair, it ended badly, now she's claiming it was non consensual. If it was rape or harassment her husband would have known because she wod have been upset at the time. The fact that when there's a lawsuit and he jumps to "affair" means he had an inkling this was happening and the lawsuit confirmed his suspicion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is very weird that you wouldn't share the circumstances of your leaving your job with him and/or that he never asked. And it sounds like you did in fact have an affair. Your ex is probably processing all that and may not fully trust what you are telling him.

there was no assault. She went on "dates" with a superior. Its unprofessional on both her and the partners fault, but she acts as if she has no agency. And this is a grown woman and a lawyer to boot.

[Anonymous]

Any update OP?

[Anonymous]

You have posted about this before

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

He’s right.

I have to agree 💯% w/your hubby on this situation OP.

I do not see why you felt as if you could not tell this partner NO if everything you were doing was above board.

Also, it would have been a wise idea to disclose to your husband exactly what occurred.
The fact that you were hiding it speaks volumes that you did something wrong.

If I were your husband & I found out something like this, that you were keeping this huge secret from me, etc., then I would move out too.
You had no right to not tell your husband what happened.
As your spouse, he had every right to know about this.

He is now angry & justifiably so.
I am not surprised that he refuses to help you.

Maybe you should take his advice + call your AP.
Though bad karma has already landed on your lap.

When you truly need someone > no one is there for you anymore.

Guess that is the way the proverbial cookie crumbles…..

[Anonymous]

So self vented OP.

[Anonymous]

OP I would have divorced you just for your explanation that assumes your husband is fool enough to believe you had a "non-consentual" affair that required keeping a lawsuit secret. I also wouldn't help you after because I would assume you were moving on to OnlyFans and I would want 50% of that in the divorce.

[Anonymous]

OP what was the evidence basis on which they ruled that this was non-consensual and you got a settlement? That’s an important part of the story.

[Anonymous]

I am a man and I am not in a position to judge a woman who felt she didn’t a choice and had to have a relationship with a co-worker.

However, women, not all, some, are incredibly skilled at justifying their affairs. It must be a biological advantage but a woman can easily take you to the cleaner with elaborate reasons WHY she cheated.

[Anonymous]

I pray some sh***t like this happen to my soon to be ex wife. The sl***t had a yearlong affair and is showing no remorse et has the audacity to blame me. 20 years of marriage I never even thought of cheating on her but here with are….I am waiting for her *female fiends* on here to start saying there is more to the story

So yeah call your AP and hope he slips too and mess up his back in the process