Husband Told Me to Call My AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

Yeah, if someone was hiding things like this from me, my marriage would be over.

[Anonymous]

Even if the relationship was non-consensual, you still hid a major secret from your spouse! Why did you tell your you left the law firm?
How did you explain the settlement money?
Why are you even married to someone you are so disconnect from that he doesn’t know about major events in your life?

If you can’t understand why he feels hurt and betrayed, I don’t know what to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This cannot be real

It’s a troll. No one would sue their employer for this without telling their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

This sounds so fake. You lied to him multiple times. Why would you hide the dates, settlement, etc. He's right.

And, if you have tricare, take yourself to the ER and get your back looked at. Done. And, if you are tricare, you go on base, not in network so this makes zero sense.

Being deployed isn't exactly travel.

[Anonymous]

Given all of your secrets and lies your DH is right to get away from you. The fact that you were able to get damages from the law firm for sexual harassment does not mean you didn't have an affair. You did. That's why you concealed the lawsuit; I can't imagine going through such gut-wrenching litigation without my DH knowing. The fact that you did means your marriage was over anyway.

I kinda call troll with this "whaaa, he won't come take care of me!" thing anyway.

[Anonymous]

I swear OP posted about this a year or so ago. The story sounds familiar.

[Anonymous]

This must be very upsetting, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear OP posted about this a year or so ago. The story sounds familiar.

She even posted something similar recently. But I think she changed it to a contractor groped her. Either way the "husband discovering the lawsuit" is the same.

[Anonymous]

My poor husband has to sit through me telling him all about my friend drama. I can't believe you could keep a lawsuit a secret. Are there kids?

[Anonymous]

Guys,

This is a troll.

Stop feeding the troll.

[Anonymous]

You could have stopped this at the very beginning by telling your husband, even if over the phone, that you were being pressured into a relationship and ask for his help. This entire mess unfolds and you never asked for his help. Now you have a sore back and you ask for his help. You’ve got to be kidding. Either you are a troll or an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

I agree with your husband. The lack of disclosure makes you look guilty as heck!

[Anonymous]

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’ve got some serious unresolved daddy issues op. You need a therapist to sort that out with. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

This was already discussed. The settlement is separate funds he is not entitled to in a divorce and that is why she didn’t tell him.

[Anonymous]

Get a divorce. This marriage is over.