Husband Told Me to Call My AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

Team husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear OP posted about this a year or so ago. The story sounds familiar.

She even posted something similar recently. But I think she changed it to a contractor groped her. Either way the "husband discovering the lawsuit" is the same.

Op so either writing for LMN or writing a book. I swear I saw this movie before

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear OP posted about this a year or so ago. The story sounds familiar.

She even posted something similar recently. But I think she changed it to a contractor groped her. Either way the "husband discovering the lawsuit" is the same.

Op so either writing for LMN or writing a book. I swear I saw this movie before

It's beyond dumb. Hate these troll posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was already discussed. The settlement is separate funds he is not entitled to in a divorce and that is why she didn’t tell him.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

He’s right.

+1 I’m sorry you are going through such a hard time, but you hid so much from your DH. And of course he won’t take care of you now - you are separated.

[Anonymous]

This is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is the situation: I worked at a large law firm. I had a relationship with a partner that went beyond professional. I felt I was not in a position to say no, and I met for dates over several months. I agreed to an out-of-court settlement with the Law Firm. My partner and I no longer work there. My H knew nothing about any of it, as it all occurred while he was on extended TDY. He found the settlement documents on our shared household computer. H said he is more upset about my hiding the whole settlement than the fact that I might have had an affair. He says if I was indeed sexually abused at work, why wouldn't I tell him, and further that I hid the settlement from him is a breach of trust that cannot be repaired.

I have always felt with his constant travel that H is never there to take care of me. Now, I need him when I have a back injury and he won't help.

How can you never have shared any of this with your husband while it was happening. IOW, Hey hubby, I am being coerced at work? Or where was HR during all of this? I am team husband on this. Your lack of trust in your husband and lack of candor really put him out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This cannot be real

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Team OP. I hope you get a folded flag soon so you can move on from your loser hubby!

[Anonymous]

What? What a horrible thing for you to say PP.

[Anonymous]

I think what amazes me the most about this post is that they have a shared household computer. Do people still do that?

[Anonymous]

So you had an affair and leveraged that into cash and prizes. Your coochy is quite literally your "little money maker."

[Anonymous]

Are you using the term “non-consensual” because you didn’t or were unable to give consent (eg, you were unconscious, mentally incapable, or a minor)? Or is it more of an exploitative, “technically non-consensual” relationship because this person was in a position of power, but you still happily crawled into bed with him? Did your former employer settle to head off a rape allegation, or a hostile work environment allegation?

I think your husband believes the latter. Most of the other posters do as well.

Regardless, I think your husband is done with the marriage, right or wrong. Time to wrap up the divorce, get yourself in therapy, and then find someone who will rub your back.

[Anonymous]

What were you going to do with the settlement money? I guess you were going to keep that hidden from your husband? Crazy!

[Anonymous]

I find it hard to believe that HR would fire you if you were a victim. I can see him getting fired, but there must be something more to this for them to have fired you too.