My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

People only succeed to that level if they don’t have a back up plan. Personally I think you should support your son.

[Anonymous]

He shouldn’t be “practicing” that much. It simply does no good and is inefficient/bad practice/risking injury. 4 hours a day should be the max! Have him talk to some actual musicians about practice habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He shouldn’t be “practicing” that much. It simply does no good and is inefficient/bad practice/risking injury. 4 hours a day should be the max! Have him talk to some actual musicians about practice habits.

Nah, if he isn’t causing pain, there isn’t anything wrong with it. Honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

I am not even a semi-professional musician but I can relate to this. When I was young, I practiced at least three hours a day on the guitar and ten hours per day on weekends. When you do something you love, eight hours go by very quickly before you even know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

I am not even a semi-professional musician but I can relate to this. When I was young, I practiced at least three hours a day on the guitar and ten hours per day on weekends. When you do something you love, eight hours go by very quickly before you even know it.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

Are you a nationally or internationally recognized musician? You practicing eight hours a day without achieving any acclaim is evidence that you have zero authority on the matter. Evidence based studies and internationally acclaimed musicians sway me more than random comments on an internet board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

You don't threaten, you act. There will be no access to an instrument until he finishes homework. As for the rest of it I am afraid you have no choice in the matter. His life, his choice.

This is not reasonable. And counterproductive. It will damage your relationship. Tell him he can practice as much as he wants so long as he finishes his work and keeps his grades at a level you agree on or demand.

OP has already done this to no avail.

Then they have a come to Jesus talk and impose the consequence(s) until it improves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

Are you a nationally or internationally recognized musician? You practicing eight hours a day without achieving any acclaim is evidence that you have zero authority on the matter. Evidence based studies and internationally acclaimed musicians sway me more than random comments on an internet board.

Again, link to interviews with acclaimed musicians where they talk about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

I am not even a semi-professional musician but I can relate to this. When I was young, I practiced at least three hours a day on the guitar and ten hours per day on weekends. When you do something you love, eight hours go by very quickly before you even know it.

Exactly.

There is no marginal benefit after 4 hours. If you are really skilled at practicing you can avoid injury, but many can't. Sure you can spend all your time on your passion, but after a certain number of hours you do it for enjoyment, not progress. This applies to most fields.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

Are you a nationally or internationally recognized musician? You practicing eight hours a day without achieving any acclaim is evidence that you have zero authority on the matter. Evidence based studies and internationally acclaimed musicians sway me more than random comments on an internet board.

I’ve won local awards and gig regularly. You post comments with no evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

I am not even a semi-professional musician but I can relate to this. When I was young, I practiced at least three hours a day on the guitar and ten hours per day on weekends. When you do something you love, eight hours go by very quickly before you even know it.

Exactly.

I think it's also worth pointing out that, despite what DCUM thinks, this activity doesn't have to be productive. It doesn't have to be "practice" for however many hours a day. He's not "practicing." He's PLAYING. Because he loves to play and the way that you get better at playing is by continuing to play. Maybe he's spending some time on fret work or fingerpicking or whatever, but mostly, he's probably writing music and playing it. That isn't really something that you can put into a 45 minute block or whatever DCUM would think is appropriate.

OP, it sounds like your son should talk to your brother. Your brother could be a great ally for you in this conversation. Get him to reinforce the message of "get your grades decent and finish high school with decent grades to keep options open" at the very least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

I am not even a semi-professional musician but I can relate to this. When I was young, I practiced at least three hours a day on the guitar and ten hours per day on weekends. When you do something you love, eight hours go by very quickly before you even know it.

Exactly.

I think it's also worth pointing out that, despite what DCUM thinks, this activity doesn't have to be productive. It doesn't have to be "practice" for however many hours a day. He's not "practicing." He's PLAYING. Because he loves to play and the way that you get better at playing is by continuing to play. Maybe he's spending some time on fret work or fingerpicking or whatever, but mostly, he's probably writing music and playing it. That isn't really something that you can put into a 45 minute block or whatever DCUM would think is appropriate.

OP, it sounds like your son should talk to your brother. Your brother could be a great ally for you in this conversation. Get him to reinforce the message of "get your grades decent and finish high school with decent grades to keep options open" at the very least.

Yep. Most of these people are clearly not musicians or artists in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

I am not even a semi-professional musician but I can relate to this. When I was young, I practiced at least three hours a day on the guitar and ten hours per day on weekends. When you do something you love, eight hours go by very quickly before you even know it.

Exactly.

I think it's also worth pointing out that, despite what DCUM thinks, this activity doesn't have to be productive. It doesn't have to be "practice" for however many hours a day. He's not "practicing." He's PLAYING. Because he loves to play and the way that you get better at playing is by continuing to play. Maybe he's spending some time on fret work or fingerpicking or whatever, but mostly, he's probably writing music and playing it. That isn't really something that you can put into a 45 minute block or whatever DCUM would think is appropriate.

OP, it sounds like your son should talk to your brother. Your brother could be a great ally for you in this conversation. Get him to reinforce the message of "get your grades decent and finish high school with decent grades to keep options open" at the very least.

Yep. Most of these people are clearly not musicians or artists in any way.

I kind of want to know who OP's brother is now though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.

Why is it too much? I agree he needs to do homework, but he’s passionate about it.

As someone who is a musician, if you took music away from me, I’d become intensely depressed.

Many musicians have said something along the lines of: we can’t live without playing music. It’s true.

It's counterproductive, there is only so much your brain and body can absorb. Even the best musicians did not spend more than 4 hours a day.

And you know this how? Are you a musician who plays on a professional or semi-professional level? I can easily spend 6-8 hours a day playing music.

Not only are there hundreds of studies on this, but every single acclaimed professor and musician has talked about this. Now you can spend 8 hours fiddling with your instrument, but that's not deliberate practice, it's just entertainment.

Every single one? Prove it. I don’t care about professors. Show me interviews from Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, James Hetfield, and Chad Smith. If every acclaimed musician has talked about it, as you say, you should be able to find it.

And how do you know I’m just fiddling? It’s really insulting that you think I don’t know how to effectively practice my instrument. I’m in multiple bands that gig regularly. I know how to practice.

Lastly, I ask again: Are you a professional or semi-professional musician?

I am not even a semi-professional musician but I can relate to this. When I was young, I practiced at least three hours a day on the guitar and ten hours per day on weekends. When you do something you love, eight hours go by very quickly before you even know it.

Exactly.

I think it's also worth pointing out that, despite what DCUM thinks, this activity doesn't have to be productive. It doesn't have to be "practice" for however many hours a day. He's not "practicing." He's PLAYING. Because he loves to play and the way that you get better at playing is by continuing to play. Maybe he's spending some time on fret work or fingerpicking or whatever, but mostly, he's probably writing music and playing it. That isn't really something that you can put into a 45 minute block or whatever DCUM would think is appropriate.

OP, it sounds like your son should talk to your brother. Your brother could be a great ally for you in this conversation. Get him to reinforce the message of "get your grades decent and finish high school with decent grades to keep options open" at the very least.

Yep. Most of these people are clearly not musicians or artists in any way.

I kind of want to know who OP's brother is now though.

I do too.

[Anonymous]

Can your brother talk to him about school? Surely your brother wouldn’t encourage him to be a high school drop out or to not even attempt going to college.

A good heart to heart from your brother, a financially successful musician, about the importance of school, college, and the difficulty and odd of becoming a lucrative musician.