My DS wants to be a musician. WWYD?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. He has been taking music lessons at the age of six but he is getting much more serious with music lessons after this summer. He used to practice one hour a day but now it is from 5pm until 11pm everyday and more like 8 hours on Saturday and Sunday. He literally drops homework and sports from the calendar. I am all for supporting him but this is too much. I can threaten to take away his phone and music lessons but he doesn't seem to care.


You don't threaten, you act. There will be no access to an instrument until he finishes homework. As for the rest of it I am afraid you have no choice in the matter. His life, his choice.


I can’t believe you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of miserable people here who are very triggered by others chasing a dream.


Yep. The same people who post, “I have told my child I will pay for college only if they major in and make As in STEM.”
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Tell him he has to graduate high school, but otherwise why would you stop him?


Talk to your brother and ask if DS can go on the road after HS and work for him.

If DB agrees tell DS he can apprentice with his uncle if he gets a reasonable GPA and graduates HS. (Up to you guys what you think is his best GPA.)

Then let him go! He’s better off getting into the industry by hanging out with his uncle. You’d at least know how he’s doing.

He can spend a couple of years figuring out if he’s talented enough. Or maybe he will find another music industry related job. He doesn’t have to become a top level guitarist to be satisfied. He may find he fits in somewhere else in that orbit.

If he’s practicing guitar seriously, let him do it! As long as he graduates HS he can go get a college degree later.

But he’s got an awesome low risk opportunity to follow his dream here. And if it’s his dream, you can’t stop him anyway.

Wasn’t this a long shot for your brother too?

—former dumb kid who gave up scholarship for chemical engineering, got an art history degree, and became a successful art objects photographer


This is a great solution. Give him a few “gap years” to try it out. He can always go back to college later.


Give him a few gap years? You act as though the parents have control over what the kid does. Once he turns 18, he’s an adult. They can’t force him to do anything.


And that is fine. I was encouraging OP to let him spread his wings. This is actually great because if he is with his caring uncle, he’ll have an eye out for him.

He can always go back to college.

I have a friend who was a rock star for about 15 years. He later got an Oxbridge Ph.D. There are many paths to life, let him explore them.


You don’t get it. There’s no “let him” when you’re talking about an adult.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nah. He can write his music and practice the guitar but he needs to do his school work.

Take the guitar and make him do his school work to get it back. Tell him you're fine with him creating music but school comes first.


You are just awful. Do not take this kid’s guitar.

I suggest reading Dave Growl’s book, The Storyteller, and trying to be like his mom. They had an incredible relationship.

Also read Stixrud’s The Self-Driven Child. He blew off school to spend hours on the guitar. I think he’s done pretty okay in life.


For every Dave Growl there are hundreds of thousands of men who could never pay rent with their music. I would focus on the overwhelmingly more likely scenario and plan for it.


So much anxiety in these threads, and so much illusion of control. Also so much wish to punish people who do have passions and dreams. Pretty sad.

A lot of jobs done by those of us with degrees, including graduate degrees, can and will be replaced by AI. There’s plenty of research and modeling out there on this. Things are going to look very different.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nah. He can write his music and practice the guitar but he needs to do his school work.

Take the guitar and make him do his school work to get it back. Tell him you're fine with him creating music but school comes first.


You are just awful. Do not take this kid’s guitar.

I suggest reading Dave Growl’s book, The Storyteller, and trying to be like his mom. They had an incredible relationship.

Also read Stixrud’s The Self-Driven Child. He blew off school to spend hours on the guitar. I think he’s done pretty okay in life.


For every Dave Growl there are hundreds of thousands of men who could never pay rent with their music. I would focus on the overwhelmingly more likely scenario and plan for it.


So much anxiety in these threads, and so much illusion of control. Also so much wish to punish people who do have passions and dreams. Pretty sad.

A lot of jobs done by those of us with degrees, including graduate degrees, can and will be replaced by AI. There’s plenty of research and modeling out there on this. Things are going to look very different.


Thank you!! All of this.
Anonymous
I work Cybersecurity operation 10 hours for 20 straight days with 15 straight days off, and have been doing this for the past five years. On those 15 days off, I play guitar everyday from dawn to dust because it is a passion of mine and I love every minute of it even though I am not a professional musician. I graduated college with a useless degree but I work in IT so I get a good paying job, not wealthy but good enough to buy several expensive guitars. I could have gotten this job without a college degree, or maybe some online degree because the government or contractor doesn't care where you get the degree from. Life is short and if you have a passion to do something, go for it and don't worry about having a backup plan because the minute you start thinking about a backup plan, you're already failed, like I did. Kudos to OP's son who has such passion for music. He is in a good position because he has a rich uncle to back him up.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Nah. He can write his music and practice the guitar but he needs to do his school work.

Take the guitar and make him do his school work to get it back. Tell him you're fine with him creating music but school comes first.


You are just awful. Do not take this kid’s guitar.

I suggest reading Dave Growl’s book, The Storyteller, and trying to be like his mom. They had an incredible relationship.

Also read Stixrud’s The Self-Driven Child. He blew off school to spend hours on the guitar. I think he’s done pretty okay in life.


For every Dave Growl there are hundreds of thousands of men who could never pay rent with their music. I would focus on the overwhelmingly more likely scenario and plan for it.


So much anxiety in these threads, and so much illusion of control. Also so much wish to punish people who do have passions and dreams. Pretty sad.

A lot of jobs done by those of us with degrees, including graduate degrees, can and will be replaced by AI. There’s plenty of research and modeling out there on this. Things are going to look very different.


Newsflash: AI already reproduces voices (Hi Drake), composes, mixes and produces songs that are better than originals. In the 21st century being a good software engineer might make you a more accomplished musician than practicing 8 hours of guitar.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: AI already reproduces voices (Hi Drake), composes, mixes and produces songs that are better than originals. In the 21st century being a good software engineer might make you a more accomplished musician than practicing 8 hours of guitar.


FALSE....That technology is still YEARS away. In the mean, a musician gets pretty women and a software engineer, mostly chubby and ugly, gets no pretty women.
post reply Forum Index » Tweens and Teens
Message Quick Reply
Go to: