
Please, OP, for all that is good tell your DD now she doesn’t have to go. I can only imagine the stress this will cause her not to have that clarity now. When you say things could change in a year, she feels a total loss of control. Of course she doesn’t have to go. Tell her that now so she can relax. And maybe if the pressure is off she will change her mind in a year. Or maybe not. But don’t force her to make herself uncomfortable for this weird gift. Especially with the whole horse thing as history. Break the cycle. |
I would stop tiptoeing around your mother and tell her that it was not an appropriate gift. Does everyone try to protect grandmom's feelings to the detriment of healthy family dynamics? |
Is your mom a narcissist? |
Has your daughter watched Miss Americana on Netflix? It might give her a different perspective on TS. |
Be honest with your mother and don’t force your daughter to go. There are plenty of others who will buy the tickets. It’s right around the time of my daughter’s birthday and we have family there so I tried to get them but couldn’t. We would fly there only because we would also see my parents and she loved Taylor Swift more than anything. I would never force my kids to fly to a concert that didn’t want to attend, that also cost thousands. |
We’ll be at the Sunday Miami show and can’t wait! It’s a long ways away. Unless your mom got a presale code, she paid dearly for these tickets. |
Wow ok. So she gives extravagant gifts! But unfortunately, not at all based on the interests of the recipient. That is exceedingly generous but also just kinda sucks. Better to select gifts with thought to the recipient - NOT the giver. |
Do not make DD go. Just tell your mom no. It’s great it’s on a school night and you don’t have to get into all the other reasons. Protect your daughter from this toxic cycle with your mother. |
This. Also, who is she going with? Your mom? Or are you expected to take her? |
Wow. Ask yourself why you told your DD this story. Are you actively trying to poison her relationship with her grandmother? |
Your mother sounds like a narcissist and you, her co-dependent.
Tell your mom the truth about how your daughter feels. For the love god, don’t make her go and tell your mom next time to give a gift that is considerate of your daughter’s actual interests. |
OP, this telling this tale does not put you in the best light. You seem prickly. |
Jesus. Taylor Swift fans are something else. No one “needs” to be a fan of Taylor Swift. She has plenty. It’s ok if people don’t like things you do. |
I am not at all a Taylor Swift fan, but these shows are a huge deal. I would go to people watch and experience the “event” that they are. OP, I also have a HFA kid, and I know he stresses about things but when I can get him to,actually do the thing, he enjoys it. I would have her watch some videos and read up on TS to have her get a feel for it. I wouldn’t commit one way or another at this point. |
This seems like an easy one. Decline the gift because it's an out of town concert on a school night. Suggest that grandma take the younger cousin super fan. At that point, what grandma does is up to her. But you're not even leaving grandma with no one to go with, you're just not letting her manipulate your daughter into pretending to be the granddaughter she wishes she had. |